Please advise - it's all gone SO wrong

Buffythedebtslayer

Hello Lisa, I can see your light is on, I came by to check on you. I hope you feel a little less lonely tonight. There is a way to sort this out I am sure.

Remember your kids love you and we are all here to listen and try and help

Thinking of you

Buffyxxx

lisawaters

savingmummy wrote: »

I hope Martin can help you in some way!
Never in doubt it is really good of you to ask him for some light here.

I must say in my time on this forum i have never been so worried about a poster! Makes other things minor in comparison.
What gets me is how can someone do this to someone else :mad:

You're sweet. Don't worry about me. Something will come along. It's not going to be anything I can imagine though! I've been through all the usual lotto wins and millionaire uncles I've never met leaving me their fortunes scenarios!

NGlady

Sorry im no expert, but something occured to me.
Have you got any talents, perhaps your a maths wizz or something and could offer somebody a few hours of your time for books etc or good with kids and could offer some babysitting hours in exchange for labour hours? Well, is there a website (im sure there is) where you can "trade services" so there would be service men on there who would be willing to help out?
Perhaps speak to your local newspaper, see if theres anybody in your local area who could spare a few afternoons to help this bad situation. Im sure there would be some retired/out of work trades people who would love to have something to do for a few afternoons? Maybe big it up that somebody could gain some experience from your house in exchange for a very greatful lady and unlimited tea and buiscuits?
What about talking to your local colleges? Could you possibly open your house up to, for example a plastering class. You provide the walls and the tea, they provide the labour?

slummymummyof3

Have you got any skills that you can trade with a plasterer/leccy etc?

Have you thought about putting an advert up in local shops for unwanted plasterboard etc?

redlady_1

lisawaters wrote: »

I think I'm being quite calm! He hasn't won yet but I don't want him to either. I might not get anything when he sells the house. It sounds OK but there are often problems. If I sell now I lose £20k as negative equity, and about £60k I have spent on the house including the money he stole. I will never be allowed to buy anything bigger than a Twix again. My credit report looks like a sieve now.

Revenge is worth having...

I lost everything through a divorce. Well actually, he persuaded me to give him my money first (no I am not blonde!) The anger I felt was raging but I realised that sometimes life throws things at us for a reason. 5 years later and I have just got back on my feet. Retrained in a new career, own place, car etc and my revenge is I am a survivor. He can be sat on probably 200k in the bank (much of which was mine!) I know that the very fact that I have my head still held high and havent crumbled will seriously annoy him! And you too can get through this. Just dig real deep inside and you never know what you will find.

You lose £20k but you gain your sanity (and some warmth and cleanliness), and that is priceless. And you do have your family. They might not have the cash to bail you out but they love you. That too, cannot be bought.

By the way, ever thought of asking the tax office to investigate his affairs??!

savingmummy

If you were to put this story in the paper/magazine and include pictures i`m sure you would get lots of volunteers or at least donated materials to help you make your home more livable for now!

It is definately worth a go!

You may be down but you sure are positive I think the key here is to get your health in order.
Then get yourself a small job albeit a cleaning or stacking shelves one so you then have a bit of money AND some `outside of home` time.

RAS

savingmummy wrote: »

If you were to put this story in the paper/magazine and include pictures i`m sure you would get lots of volunteers or at least donated materials to help you make your home more livable for now!

Actually that might be a really good tactic, although you need to be careful about what you say.

if he has the choice of having his name published all over the women's mags or coughing up, he might start to change his tune.

itsgazza_2

Lisa

I'm not sure exactly how you would go about this but ........

As the property needs approx £20K spending on it to increase the value by £100K could you not search out a reputable builder who would do the work in exchange for a percentage of the increase in equity that would be achieved , You could agree to pay this over when the property was sold.

savingmummy

RAS wrote: »

Actually that might be a really good tactic, although you need to be careful about what you say.

if he has the choice of having his name published all over the women's mags or coughing up, he might start to change his tune.

Even not naming him could get help from somewhere!

Britwife

Hey hun, so sorry for all that is going on. I agree, you really need to let go of the anger to move forward. I've had life altering events in my life that would cause one to cease in living and trust me, I've thought of it. I'm not longer that person and hopefully have beaten the statistics.

What I should ask is do you actually have functioning heat and electric? I know you said you sold your jag for a boiler and radiators but are they functioning? If they aren't I wonder if you can get your council in to help things. Have you tried the warm front grant for anything you might be qualified for? Not sure who you would contact but you can't live in a house if it isn't up to safety standards and I'm wondering if your council offers assistance on these things. Or if anyone else on here knows?

I would definately write to the papers and magazines to see if they will print your story and help in getting donations. You could also go and talk to your local tradesmen to see if they would be willing to offer any help. Even if they only do plumbing or electrical.

You have to fight this hun, and I mean fight for your health. Make a list of things that need to get done in order of importance and list the cost. Perhaps take a look at the list and see if there is anything you can do on your own. DIY is fun, I miss it since we now rent but with lots of reasearch you can do anything you can put your mind to, well except those that need a specialist such as gas and electrics.

For the freecycle, post items that you need as a wanted ad. Check with builders to see if they will even donate salvageable items like doors and windows if needed. I actually don't know what they do with all that stuff but my neighbors had new window put in and the old ones looked perfectly fine and they look just like the ones they replaced them with. So worth a try for anything.

Loads and loads of hugs to you. Be strong and confident.....YOU will make it through this.