Please advise - it's all gone SO wrong

katsu

Lisa,

Try to find a local exchange trading scheme - you might need to ask in the library? Basically people swap skills for one another, so you offer to (for example): cook, clean, house-sit, baby sit and ask for DIY help. You "pay" for the help you get from Fred with the help you give Bill IYSWIM.

Are you eligible to apply for any charity help or benevolent funds- say if you were an ex Civil Servant I think you could apply to their benevolent fund for some funds to improve your situation a wee bit.

redlady_1

You have to let go of that anger to be able to move forward. He has won because you are letting him. Everything is in place to take the money when he sells the house, but he is getting far more enjoyment from watching you suffer. Imagine if you sell, buy a little place that is nice and clean and start all over again - and then still get your money back later down the line?! Patience is sometimes a virtue...not one I have a great deal of to be honest! And revenge is a dish best served cold! :cool:

niccatw

Hey honey

It sounds like you are having an awful time, I'm so sorry I can't offer any advice on build.

Are you seeing you GP and receiving medical treatment or counselling for the depression? It sounds as though you have been through so much even before all this pallava with the builder and the cottage, that getting the right professional advice might help you get back on track and at leas thelp you see where you can move forwards, even if it is baby steps?

Is there any-one you can stay with on a temporary basis? Living in your cottage cannot be good for either your physical or mental health as you aren't getting the chance not to be in the situation, therefore no wonder it is all you can think of.

Take care. I hope something owrks out sooner rather than later!

vaporate

lisawaters wrote: »

I'm not sure any media will name him as he hasn't done anything illegal, just terribly immoral.

I'm running out of personal resources to face much more of this. I think I can manage one more appeal, for attachment of earnings, and if that goes his way, I think I may have to accept that I'm not really going to be able to stand years more of this stuff. Sorry if that sounds dramatic. I understand why people top themselves... you just run out of resources to deal with a situation.

I just need the money, now, and I can start putting things back together.

Thank you for your support.

Yes he has, stealing is a criminal offence.

I really do feel for the OP. Words fail me basically.

never-in-doubt

MSE Martin should pop by later - he's responded to my PM.

lisawaters

savingmummy wrote: »

You really do need to eat, especially being diabetic
This really saddens me and i wish i could help!

Are you getting all your benefits your entitled too?
Could you have meals with friend/family a few times a week?

We have been struggling recently and my parents have been feeding us of a weekend - every little helps!

There are lots of tips regarding eating on a low budget over on the oldstyle board - you will be suprised the things people cook with very little money or food.

Thanks for the suggesttions. I know I should. But I can't afford it and frankly I don't care enough about myself any more! Sounds awful!

I get what everyone else gets. I have to try and overturn a medical exam to reinstate by incapacity benefit. Anyone care to bet how well that will go?!

My family are a long way away and a bit useless.

lisawaters

katsu wrote: »

Lisa,

Try to find a local exchange trading scheme - you might need to ask in the library? Basically people swap skills for one another, so you offer to (for example): cook, clean, house-sit, baby sit and ask for DIY help. You "pay" for the help you get from Fred with the help you give Bill IYSWIM.

Are you eligible to apply for any charity help or benevolent funds- say if you were an ex Civil Servant I think you could apply to their benevolent fund for some funds to improve your situation a wee bit.

The depression is a !!!!!!. If I could work even part time reliably I could start small and work up. I've tried but I can't afford to let any clients down.

I am eligible for sod all! I'm not over 60 or in one of the groups who seem to have money and help thrown at them.

lisawaters

redlady_1 wrote: »

You have to let go of that anger to be able to move forward. He has won because you are letting him. Everything is in place to take the money when he sells the house, but he is getting far more enjoyment from watching you suffer. Imagine if you sell, buy a little place that is nice and clean and start all over again - and then still get your money back later down the line?! Patience is sometimes a virtue...not one I have a great deal of to be honest! And revenge is a dish best served cold! :cool:

I think I'm being quite calm! He hasn't won yet but I don't want him to either. I might not get anything when he sells the house. It sounds OK but there are often problems. If I sell now I lose £20k as negative equity, and about £60k I have spent on the house including the money he stole. I will never be allowed to buy anything bigger than a Twix again. My credit report looks like a sieve now.

Revenge is worth having...

lisawaters

niccatw wrote: »

Hey honey

It sounds like you are having an awful time, I'm so sorry I can't offer any advice on build.

Are you seeing you GP and receiving medical treatment or counselling for the depression? It sounds as though you have been through so much even before all this pallava with the builder and the cottage, that getting the right professional advice might help you get back on track and at leas thelp you see where you can move forwards, even if it is baby steps?

Is there any-one you can stay with on a temporary basis? Living in your cottage cannot be good for either your physical or mental health as you aren't getting the chance not to be in the situation, therefore no wonder it is all you can think of.

Take care. I hope something owrks out sooner rather than later!

Hey babe. Thanks for the suggestions. My GP is great but can't do more than she has. I'm in with the local mental health team, with MIND, with a counsellor and a reflexologist (my weekly pamper and sob). Problem with depression is it can take years to go. I'm in year 6 of this episode but it's inflamed by all this stress. I'm a medical marvel really! I have nothing but praise for the health professionals helping me. Gawd bless the NHS.

Staying here is driving me frilly and I can barely stand the daily reminder of how bad things have got. I sleep on a blow-up lilo on the floor and the mess and wires sticking out of the walls and ceilings is there when I close my eyes and again when I open them the next day. On those nights I can sleep!

I haven't really anyone that I can stay with, and you'll perhaps understand that if I walked out of here I would never ever come back.

If I could afford buildings insurance I'd burn the place down tonight. Preferably while I was asleep.

never-in-doubt

do you mind me asking how old are you? Not that it matters, just curious.... you sound like you're only young (40's maybe) - stop being so negative.....