Please advise - it's all gone SO wrong

SouthernBellE*

Hey there poosmate, Glad you're back!!:):):)

I think posts got crossed yesterday & was worried you'd disappeared because of a misunderstanding so it's great to see you back;):)

Great bit of brain storming yesterday too!!!..You've been doing your homework. A good argument there with shifting focus back to Mike's circumstances and difficulties to him & his children.;) Funny how you can look & look at something right in front of you. Sadly I don't experience to many lightbulb moments:rotfl::rotfl: but I do try not to be jealous when it happens to others!!!!:T:T:T

Your little allotment plan is a good idea too!! My FIL loves his little plot & there is a shortage of them everywhere. Don't know what garden situation is at Mikes but you should definately go for it. [nicer to look at tidy veg plot than overgrown grass & weeds & understand phobia of crawlies:eek:] Often have a problem with adders here!

Good luck with trading standards builder lady Mike. Materials & training...A new career choice maybe? Learn enough about renovating & you'll be able to help out all the other victims of dodgy builders.:)

Poosmate

Thanks SB. Yes I did jump the gun a bit defending Fiver and I apologise for that. I guess we all get our knickers in a twist at times and put our mouths (fingers) into gear before our brains! *Note to self* Think before you type Poo!

Re: Brainstorming. I wish I could apply it to my own life! Unfortunately my brain won't allow me to think about my own life, my head becomes a vaccuum and all this wind hisses out of my ears! I think it's a defensive mechanism from primeval times (or it might just be me!) lol

Anyway, time I wasn't here.

Good night all and sleep well.

Take care all,

Poo

SouthernBellE*

Poosmate wrote: »

Thanks SB. Yes I did jump the gun a bit defending Fiver and I apologise for that. I guess we all get our knickers in a twist at times and put our mouths (fingers) into gear before our brains! *Note to self* Think before you type Poo!

Re: Brainstorming. I wish I could apply it to my own life! Unfortunately my brain won't allow me to think about my own life, my head becomes a vaccuum and all this wind hisses out of my ears! I think it's a defensive mechanism from primeval times (or it might just be me!) lol

Poo

My head becomes a vacuum!!!!

So did mine.....When my son was born!!!

Glad no-one fell out, good group of people. I did say to Mike that with the mood swings [and considering I once thought he was a she], it was only right that he experience the symptoms of PMS, but also advised that he treat the symptoms with CHOCOLATE as we do!![ sorry Mike]. We all need to have a rant sometimes.
Just glad you're back. night night.xx

lisawaters

BILLIE wrote: »

Had to laugh at your comment Nic, but I is a she:rotfl:!!!!!

Too much gender swapping going on round here for my liking... what sort of site is this anyway?

Mike (Miss)

lisawaters

Poosmate wrote: »

Hey Mike, hope you had a better day today.

Sorry I don't have anything new to add but just thought I'd drop by and let you know I'm still thinking of you.

Remember, spring is just around the corner so hopefully it will start to get warmer. I know what it's like to live in a cold house (I don't have central heating), I've never been so healthy as germs/viruses are unable to survive in these temperatures! I now sleep in my lounge where the temperature reaches a high of 15 degrees! Yay!

Does your cottage have any land where you could maybe grow some fruit/vegetables? I am totally useless in the garden (scared of birds, butterflies, moths, slugs, snakes, mice, leaves - anything I see move out the corner of my eye I jump a mile) - I'm a nervous wreck out there! So garden is a bit of a jungle atm. I was thinking of advertising it as free* to use as a fruit/vegetable plot on the website spareground.com (apparently allotments are very popular atm and there are waiting lists of up to 2 years to get a plot on one in some areas).

Free* = use of land in return for a small amount of produce.

Is this something you could consider? I mean growing your own or offering it out?

I am at the thinking stage atm as I am a bit of a hermit (I don't mix too well with humans - they tend to hurt you or die on you).

Maybe something for you to think about?

Hope that helps.

Poo

Nice idea but the garden's not big enough.

I'm a bit of a hermit too but occasionally I get a strong urge to socialise. People are mostly unreliable, judgmental and a pain in the buttt. But a few are worth following to the ends of the earth.

I may grow my own one day but I like the idea of a city garden but with a thatched verandah thang shielded from the neighbours. I could be doing all sorts in there!

lisawaters

Poosmate wrote: »

I wish I could apply it to my own life! Unfortunately my brain won't allow me to think about my own life, my head becomes a vaccuum and all this wind hisses out of my ears! I think it's a defensive mechanism from primeval times (or it might just be me!) lol

Poo

The secret is talking to people who inspire and amaze you. There are some on here...

Happytogetdebtfree

Hey mike id be tempted to take up some of these offers of help to do the house .... its very rare in life when you come across people who genuinley want to help cease with both hands i think i would if i was in your situation and then hopefully eventually the builder will pay up all in good time but you might feel better if you get some help and action started good luck x

lisawaters

Happytogetdebtfree wrote: »

Hey mike id be tempted to take up some of these offers of help to do the house .... its very rare in life when you come across people who genuinley want to help cease with both hands i think i would if i was in your situation and then hopefully eventually the builder will pay up all in good time but you might feel better if you get some help and action started good luck x

I know you're right. I have a problem asking for help. And about accepting it if it's offered. I prefer to be the one offering the help because I know I won't feel 'indebted' afterwards.

OK...


I need help.

Willow_K

Hi mike

I've been following your thread and really hope things get better for you.

I have noticed a few times how you refer to yourself has being unlucky or how you seem to attract the bad stuff - I know your depression probably exacerbates those feelings, but even so, I thought you might find this interesting:

10 YEAR STUDY ON LUCK


A British psychologist recently concluded a 10 year study on luck. Here is what he found.

About 12 percent of people in the general population identify themselves as lucky, 9 percent as unlucky and most people consider themselves neither lucky nor unlucky. In his study he chose equal numbers of lucky and unlucky subjects.

First Test: National Lottery

In one of his first experiments, he had his subjects enter the national lottery. The "lucky" people did no better in the lottery than the "unlucky" people, demonstrating that nothing supernatural was going on.
Lucky People Have Better Outlook

He also found lucky and unlucky people might describe the same event in different ways. A lucky person might marvel that she had escaped an automobile accident without serious injury; an unlucky person might say it was bad luck that she was in an accident at all.
But this wasn't just a "Is the glass half full or half empty?" situation. "The lucky people were obviously doing much better" overall than the unlucky people, he said. They were more likely to say they had a good marriage or relationship and that they enjoyed their jobs. Was this a function of luck?

Unlucky People More Tense

In one experiment, the doctor asked his subjects to count the number of photographs in a newspaper. Unlucky people averaged about two minutes to finish the task, lucky people just a few seconds.
Why? On the second page of the paper was a message, in letters two-inches high, "Stop counting -- there are 43 photographs in this newspaper." Lucky people usually noticed it. Unlucky people tended to miss it, as well as second message halfway through the paper: "Stop counting, tell the experimenter you have seen this and win $250."

Personality tests show unlucky people tend to be more tense than lucky people and that makes it less likely that they notice the unexpected. Lucky people are more relaxed and able to see what is there, rather than what they are looking for.

Ability To Recognize Opportunity

This ability to recognize and capitalize on chance opportunities is important. So is creating the opportunities -- something that lucky people seem to do without even thinking. Lucky people often go to considerable lengths to break from routine and introduce variety to their lives. They may try new activities, or make an effort to talk with new people, or just try to do things in a different way, such as by taking a new route to work.
These new or random experiences introduce new opportunities that, in turn, lucky people recognize and act upon. And the more opportunities a person encounters, the more likely it is that one of those opportunities will turn out to be golden.

The key point here is the ability to recognize opportunity. I would like to echo Happytogetdebtfree and encourage you to take up the offers of help provided here - there is no point remaining as you are and saying that the universe is trying to teach you a lesson when you have been given a unique opportunity to improve things for yourself.

Not having a go - just hoping to help you see things from another perspective.

Hope things get sorted for you - sending you an encouraging, be positive hug.

Happytogetdebtfree

mike imagine it would be like good karma for people life is about people helping people... you could cook when the house is sorted people get enjoyment and good feelings helping others so let these crazy mse people in, i am not diy compatable so i couldnt offer help lol but i can clean