Bonus from work, should this be counted for child maintenance?

kelloggs36

Most of the time it is just sour grapes when NRPs accuse their ex's of child neglect; the amount of times I have heard the same story of the money being spent on fags and booze and not the children, yet these children aren't taken into care; in fact they are fed and clothed and well looked after, but because the parent may choose to have a life then 'all the maintenance is spent on themselves'. It is an incredibally rare case that this is true, most of the time it is just an excuse to want to pay less or nothing at all.

jen_br

Yes, hes 17 allowed to choose where he wants he has come to live with his on and off for the last 7 years but when you get a phone call from your mother crying asking you to come back home she misses you shes lonely etc etc whats a little boy to do?? Our door is always open for him and has been since he was little however, emotional blackmail does happen. Also, when your a young boy.... Whats important to you MATES! we live 150miles away from him now therefore he wants be with his friends so it doesn't MATTER how much we beg him to live with us.

No im not accusing of child neglect im accusing of emotional blackmail, spending our CS money on buying a new bed for herself and then asking us for more money on the side to pay her rent because "Do you want to see us go homeless and your child go hungry?" whats is someone suppose to do We give our money *yes our payments are now over and I opened a bank account for my step son and give him money per month direct* But then again really my parents didnt do that for me so i think he has a pretty good life.

And kelloggs, Unfortunatley this is a true story her children are on the services "watch list" and have been since her first son was 9 months.. So you may think its a rare case but its not.

jen_br

AnxiousMum wrote: »

Or, before you get into discussion with people, be prepared for comments that you don't necessarily agree with!

No I have a problem with people jumping to YOUR SCAMMING THE SYSTEM.. IF my husbands boss who is a MAJOR corporation decides that all the company bonus's are being paid via vouchers (who knows maybe he gets a kick back for this) and so that his employees dont' get taxed on their CHRISTMAS bonus and yet im scamming the system for enjoying this extra money in vouchers then im in the wrong.

But i guess if he was to buy us a case of wine etc youd expect me to share that with the child? Oh wait we did get a turkey as well for the bonus Im not sure if my kid ate his 25% of turkey. Some people need to chill out a bit seriously!

jen_br

kelloggs36 wrote: »

Most of the time it is just sour grapes when NRPs accuse their ex's of child neglect; the amount of times I have heard the same story of the money being spent on fags and booze and not the children, yet these children aren't taken into care; in fact they are fed and clothed and well looked after, but because the parent may choose to have a life then 'all the maintenance is spent on themselves'. It is an incredibally rare case that this is true, most of the time it is just an excuse to want to pay less or nothing at all.

I think this happens more then you realize hence all the Dad groups out there who help fathers and the Woman that are NRPs Im sure they could tell you stories as well..

Sure kids are fed and clothed. But thats just exterior... try visiting these homes seeing what goes on the emotional blackmail and abuse you dont see that... But i guess that doesn't fall under the "Food, clothing and shelter" thing that is all that is mandatory for a parent to provide. sad really isn't?

AnxiousMum

Jen_BR - emotional blackmail is emotional ABUSE. If you truly feel that the step son is suffering from ANY type of abuse, then action needs to be taken.

The OP had asked a question about receiving a bonus and as this included in the maintenance payments as they had an agreement with the other parent to pay 25% of their income - not a set figure, but 25% of their income.

I gave my opinion/response to that - you don't like it - that's up to you. The thread is now just turning into a PWC bashing thread.

Again if you feel the child is subject to abuse of ANY kind, then you need to be a responsible adult and make sure that authorities are informed. Otherwise, it's just pwc bashing.

Just got movie passes and pizza vouchers in this mornings mail as last week's bonus - off now to take all the kids to see Avatar and for lunch after

happymumto2

Money from child maintainance, is not only for clothes and gifts etc. The PWC also pays for the roof over their head, food, gas, electric, telephone, water rates etc.

Is very rare that a PWC neglects these necessities, so claiming they use it to live the high life is just nonsense. I am very fortunate that I never had to go through CSA for my daughter, my ex-husband gives me what I feel is a fair amount, she stays there regularly, he phones her every night, she has a wardrobe of clothes there which he bought for her on top of what I receive. And big purchases like her laptop last year we split between us.

My son on the other hand, I had to go through CSA was awarded £38 a week, so his dad gave up his job! I now get nothing, contact has improved since I became unwell and in that way he has stepped up to the plate. But he does not even get a Christmas or Birthday Card let alone a gift.

If my ex-husband got a bonus, I would not expect any extra money, if my sons father got a bonus then yes I would want a share. I think it all depends on how well they provide for the children the rest of the time.

jen_br

Yes, PWC do a great job it can be a daunting task being single..

and we did approach a solicitor but sadly if the child wants to stay with the mum thers not much you can do. Try proving emotional abuse very difficuled *and 3,000 in legal letters etc*

I agree taht bonus regular bonus should be incl. in wages ours is.. I was merely pointing out that our XMAS bonus, was given to us in vouchers to avoid tax. not to really dodge CSA.

Jomo

jen_br wrote: »

Yes, PWC do a great job it can be a daunting task being single..

and we did approach a solicitor but sadly if the child wants to stay with the mum thers not much you can do. Try proving emotional abuse very difficuled *and 3,000 in legal letters etc*

I agree taht bonus regular bonus should be incl. in wages ours is.. I was merely pointing out that our XMAS bonus, was given to us in vouchers to avoid tax. not to really dodge CSA.

Not all businesses guarantee bonuses and they are handed out on a performance basis so it isn't possible to included them into your agreement with the CSA.

jamespir

i dont think it should he should keep it to himself because im sure as hell if the woman got a bonus she wouldnt be spending it on the kids

and im sure she gets more than enough with the 25% shes already getting

happymumto2

jen_br wrote: »

Yes, PWC do a great job it can be a daunting task being single..

and we did approach a solicitor but sadly if the child wants to stay with the mum thers not much you can do. Try proving emotional abuse very difficuled *and 3,000 in legal letters etc*

I agree taht bonus regular bonus should be incl. in wages ours is.. I was merely pointing out that our XMAS bonus, was given to us in vouchers to avoid tax. not to really dodge CSA.

Even if my ex had a bonus in vouchers, I would not grudge him this or expect a few of them. He has a new wife, and as long as he is fair to our daughter then I grudge him nothing. I think it does really depend on the relationship you have with the NRP and the relationship they have with the child. Maybe I am too soft, but I think if the dad is good to the child then why should I get extra because he had a bonus? I had a good job and earned more than him, but he never suggested a maintainance cut whenever I was promoted. Through the CSA though it is more difficult, am lucky I never had to go down that route with him.

Sons dad however, would gladly relieve him of all his vouchers :rotfl: