if someone was doing the dirty on their wife...

omen666

send a letter to her anonomously

Melonade

Like others have said it depends a lot on your relationship with the person being cheated on. Are you close friends or do you barely know her? Also how much proof do you have? Are you prepared to lose a friend if you tell her the truth and she doesn't like what she hears? You might think you are now but you're gonna feel pretty crappy if the sh*t hits the fan and you get blamed.

Have you seen this man with his other woman? This is a tough situation to be in and tbh I don't know what I'd do if I were you.

I hope it all works out

lilmissmup

One of my male friends has cheated on his wife several times but I haven't told her.

She used to be a good friend of mine until they got together (she met him via me, we dated but were better as friends) and then decided all women were evil and he wasn't allowed to speak to me and others for a long time and she still gets really funny about him texting me, even deleted my number from his phone!

I talk to her now but sadly my loyalty is with him.

Its not right but she hates me already not getting involved in that again!!!

Lunar_Eclipse

liney wrote: »

If your husband was doing the nasty with someone else would you want someone to tell you?

Yes, definitely.

Re the OP's situation, it very much depends. If I was good friends with the wife, I think I would feel obligated to bring up their relationship vaguely asking about fideltity at some point, hoping it made her wonder. I'm sure wives often suspect though and I know of one or two who have openly said they don't care if their husbands' are unfaithful because they have completely lost interest in them! Whereas I'd be heartbroken.

Mojisola

I would find some way of letting her know, even it was anonymously.

I know someone whose wife walked out on him and their children and he was devastated when he found out that most of their friends knew about her lover but no-one had told him. He found it very hard to trust his friends afterwards - just when he most needed support from them.

tandraig

you have to weigh up what you know about each of them - then decide which one to confront - if you cant decide - then an anon letter to her - puts the ball in her court. as long as you are SURE of your facts hun. i had a friend whose marraige nearly ended when a 'friend' told her she had seen her OH parked in a lane with another woman. turned out he was merely scoping out a new house and the 'other woman' was an estate agent! and they were parked outside the property the couple later bought.

Deals_2

but i know some people dont believe and some wish to accept

liney wrote: »

If your husband was doing the nasty with someone else would you want someone to tell you?

System

If you tell her, then chances are that will be your friendship with your friend gone. BUT then you have to ask yourself if you want someone like that as a friend anyway. I found out someone i knew was cheating on their partner and it really lowered my opinion if them as i disagree with cheating so strongly.

piglet6

If it were me, I would want to know... I may not thank the person who told me initially, but I hope in the long term I would be grateful.

Supposing I was friends equally with the couple, I would first confront the cheater and make it clear that I was aware of the situation. However, if nothing was done as a result, I would definitely drop very heavy hints to the wife about "fidelity" and, depending on how well I knew her, I would tell her - yes, it would hurt her, but I'm sure she would be more hurt to find out later that I had known and not said anything.

The option is there for her to tell me to butt out (it may be a pre-arranged agreement between them, in which case it is none of my business...). On the other hand, if I were in this situation and discovered that one of my friend's knew that Mr P was cheating on me, and didn't tell me, I would seriously be questioning our "friendship" anyway...

P x

DeeDee74

i did and i don't regret it at all, don't think the people involved blame me besides i was just the messenger but i couldn't sit bk and say nowt....
after all i'd hope thay'd tell me.