Help - What to do when they won't accept it's over.

Zazen999

Gothdolly wrote: »

Thank you everyone for the excellent advice.

I obviously need to stop being a friend to him and stop all contact. I will tell him tomorrow again, my child will be away for the weekend and so I won't have to tread as carefully as if they were here.

Sadly I don't have any family so childcare is an issue for me.

I feel very positive now and I will tell him that if he continues to contact me when I have told him not to that I will report him to the police, that is contact of any kind.

I'll also stop going out with the group of friends for a while at least, then there won't be any fear of bumping into him via that route.

I do appreciate you all taking the time to reply, I needed an outside opinion.

Thank you.

Personally, I'd do this in public and make sure you have something to do after 10-15 minutes such as meeting anther friend. And be prepared for him to be waiting at your house when you return. Make sure your mobile is charged and has plenty of credit [if PAYG].

I got rid of one of these by sighing and just saying 'look - I just don't like you any more'....and never taking a call again.

Fire_Fox

I don't understand how you can 'try' to end it, either you have or you have not. Even if he will not accept that it is over if you tell him and all your friends it is over AND stop seeing him then the relationship is over. Tell your friends not to supply your new number and don't answer the door if he shows up - put some headphones and music on!

belfastgirl23

Have you seen Supernanny? If not, I'd strongly suggest watching it. Particularly the technique to tame troublesome kids where you put them on the naughty spot. Not because I think that will work in this case but just to look at the level of persistence required to get the message heard. I have a feeling that you will need to adapt the technique for your situation. Particularly worth watching is how often the parents want to give up for a quiet life - I think that's what you're doing right now and it doesn't work.

Good luck!

Money_maker

Gothdolly wrote: »

I will tell him tomorrow again, my child will be away for the weekend and so I won't have to tread as carefully as if they were here.

Does that mean he is going round to your house? Do you think that is wise?

Can you not meet in a public place or tell him over the phone? I would very much suggest you do not do this in your home alone.

Toothfairy4

Obviously everyone's situation is different but my friend went out with a guy for 18 months, she broke up with him due to him being an idiot in general! He rang and rang and text and text (think the record was 27 missed calls in an hour!) she ignored him but she is one of these people who cant bring herself to be mean to anyone so she used to reply the odd time. I told her this was giving him false hope (even though she made it v clear she didnt want a relationship with him). She eventually changed her number but he got it from one of her friends phones when they werent looking. She thought he had finally given up when she looked out her window one night to see who was ringing her buzzer and there he was with a massive winnie the pooh! He got her address off the society website related to her job and just turned up in a city 60 miles from where he lived - what a headcase! He still texts her every now and again but she ignores it.

Just goes to show some people wont take no for an answer!

ailuro2

Tell him that by staying together you're stopping him from meeting his Miss Right, that you've heard from a friend that someone really likes him but refuses to make a move while she still sees you as 'together'

That might get him thinking.;)

Don't meet him on Valentine's day, he'll only give you flowers.

Gothdolly

Toothfairy I think that could well be him, certainly sounds like it.

I've decided to meet him in town this afternoon, that way it's in a public place in case it gets hairy.

I'm not asking him to my house, the reason I said my child will be away is that I can meet him where I please without having to bring my child along.

I'm staying at my friends tonight so if he does start knocking the door I won't be in anyway.

I'll keep you posted of how it went when I get home on Sunday.

Thanks for you help everyone.

Pollycat

Gothdolly
Good luck for this afternoon, I hope everything goes smoothly and that this guy realises that this relationship is really over - then you can both move on.

carefullycautious

THis is tantamount to stalking. But as others have said you do seem to be giving mixed messages.

mountainofdebt

Don't know if people are talking about mobile numbers when they mention blocking his number but it is possible to block a number from being received by a a BT landline as well, though I'm not sure about other telephone providers