Is my boyfriend too controlling?

PasturesNew

He's in the Valleys, life's different there. You need to get him out of the Valleys.

Fire_Fox

You aren't happy now and you aren't even living together! Trust me it only goes downhill when all you talk about is what to watch next on TV, when to go to Tesco, what to get out of the freezer for dinner, why he has left his socks on the floor instead of in the laundry basket ... Most people have a long term relationship before they meet the one they settle down with, it doesn't mean they are 'the one' it's just practising!

tabskitten

Fire_Fox wrote: »

You aren't happy now and you aren't even living together! Trust me it only goes downhill when all you talk about is what to watch next on TV, when to go to Tesco, what to get out of the freezer for dinner, why he has left his socks on the floor instead of in the laundry basket ... Most people have a long term relationship before they meet the one they settle down with, it doesn't mean they are 'the one' it's just practising!

really?
i am still on my first boyfriend- getting wed in june!

OP- get the hell out- life is too short to be treated any less than like a princess!!

dieselhead

I think that another factor to take into consideration is what sounds like a lack of personal space. I have yoyoed back and forwards between living at home and in my own place over the last few years and my relationships have always been a bit more successful when I have had my own place for a bit of privacy.

However I do think like others have said it may be time to move on.

msflowerfairy

Can i just say i live in the Valleys, and it is a beautiful place to live, it is only an hour away from Cardiff by bus and train, we go clubbing, we go shopping, we eat out, we even have electricity!
The Valleys is only isolated if you make it isolated, the same as anywhere, even a high rise flat in the middle of London can be isolated if you don't know the area, or anyone.

I just wanted to add that because everyone makes it sound so negative to live here, but as for the OP's post, it appears that your relationship has run it's course, and you may be better off without each other. You obviously have a different outlook onlife, and you should both embrace it with or without each other.
Never ever sacrifice your friends for a man, men come and go, friends should be there for you whatever happens.

Lotus-eater

I'm also a bit shocked how people on here always go straight for the physical abuse advice. FGS people, not every bloke who isn't perfect, is someone who bashes their girlfriends head in the fridge, OK?

Now, I lived about 30 miles away from my (then) GF, for about 5 years, we saw each other when we could, which was at most weekends, but if we couldn't because one of us was going out, then so be it. Honestly, jealousy at this stage isn't good.
Not sure if your relationship has come to an end, it just sounds like you have grown into 2 different people, wanting different things.
He wants someone to dote on him and be only his, I don't need to tell you this isn't how it should be.
I wanted a complete, well rounded person to settle down with, with her own friends, at the very least because I wanted a bit of space sometimes. I had a GF once where we had to be together all the time and I felt stifled.

When you are in a relationship it's hard to step back and give it a non biased view, but try to step out of your shoes and look at it if a friend was going through the same thing, what would you think then?

neneromanova

The thing that stood out most to me was that he is 29 and still living at home! I'm only 23 and couldn't imagine living at home with my parents. Even if it was just one. Ok it maybe cheap but the things you learn when you live on your own is amazing. I would say to you, leave him. He doesn't sound like much of a guy to be honest. Also look about renting somewhere. Maybe with one of your friends to halve costs but you will learn so much about yourself you will think, christ, what was I doing!!

davetrousers

I am quite surprised at how (mostly) one-sided the responses are!

It seems like the guy wants to be with and spend more time with the OP, as he wants to move in with her, and also asks where she sees herself in 10 years. The guy doesn't seem too scared of commitment.

Two sides to every story, and many responses are quite damning!

donquine

After 6 years together, it strikes me as a bit odd you both live with parents rather than each other. Is there a reason why you've never considered renting together?

I don't think he's too controlling. I think he's frustrated. I also think you probably don't want the same things.

vaporate

Your BF sounds like a right cok/bum.

Life is too short so get out now.