Some advice needed

Errata

Steph - I think you may be about to find out what your fiance's priorities are. They may not be the same as yours.

Stephb1986_2

not_tonight_josephine wrote: »

It is his house though, as it sounds like it's his name on the deeds? He could argue that your OH's contribution is rent I guess.

As others have said, 4 years is a long time so I'm sure you can sort something out, but I think it is something you need to talk about, as this could get really complicated and messy - what will your OH do if his Dad won't sign over the house? Where will his Dad live if he does sign it over then you sell up and buy a home for the 2 of you?

The only reason his name is on the deeds is because of the discount they got on the house was because of the previous years he had lived there if he signed the house over to my OH before 5 years they would have to pay some of the discount back.

He has a daughter he can go and live with instead but at 49 years old you think he would be able to stand on his own two feet.

not_tonight_josephine_2

Stephb1986 wrote: »

The only reason his name is on the deeds is because of the discount they got on the house was because of the previous years he had lived there if he signed the house over to my OH before 5 years they would have to pay some of the discount back.

He has a daughter he can go and live with instead but at 49 years old you think he would be able to stand on his own two feet.

Well, I guess taking advantage of someone else's right to buy discount is a whole other argument so won't go off topic on that! There must have been an agreement between your OH and his Dad though as to what would happen long term? Did the Dad agree that after 5 years he would leave the house and go and live with his daughter? Or was he expecting to be able to stay there long term?

Stephb1986_2

not_tonight_josephine wrote: »

Well, I guess taking advantage of someone else's right to buy discount is a whole other argument so won't go off topic on that! There must have been an agreement between your OH and his Dad though as to what would happen long term? Did the Dad agree that after 5 years he would leave the house and go and live with his daughter? Or was he expecting to be able to stay there long term?

Well his dad owed him a few grand and that is basically the discount so there isn't no advantage to that situation apart from his dad taking full advantage of living there scot free.

There is an agreement that after 5 years he will sign the house over to my OH whether it will happen or not is another story! I don't know what he is expecting long term but if you lived in one of your childrens houses could you expect to live there till your dying day even though they have their own life to lead?

not_tonight_josephine_2

Stephb1986 wrote: »

Well his dad owed him a few grand and that is basically the discount so there isn't no advantage to that situation apart from his dad taking full advantage of living there scot free.

There is an agreement that after 5 years he will sign the house over to my OH whether it will happen or not is another story! I don't know what he is expecting long term but if you lived in one of your childrens houses could you expect to live there till your dying day even though they have their own life to lead?

No, I wouldn't expect to, but playing devil's advocate I am trying to look at it from the Dad's point of view - he gave up his long term, completely secure council tenancy which he could have stayed in for the rest of his life to allow your OH to buy a house on the cheap. I can kind of see why he might expect to be allowed to carry on living there with your OH...........

Stephb1986_2

He would of lost the house if it wasn't for my OH buying it. This guy sits around all week doesn't even clean the house or anything doesn't contribute in anyway apart from eating and making mess. I can see totally where your coming from but you can also see my point of view of why should I put up with his dad when I wouldn't ask him to do the same.

I don't know how he could expect to be living in a house with his son and soon to be DIL and then after a few years maybe some kids? Surely he would want some privacy like we do. If he is there at the weekend I can't even go the toilet for a poo ALL weekend! We can't even have sex sorry that might be TMI but you have to see it from the other point of view that we are a young couple and want to do that sort of thing

pigpen

I don't think his dad is naive enough to think you do not poo or have sex.. that is your inhibition to deal with not his.

He might be long since buried in 4 years time.. cross that bridge if and when.. and the word 'no!' is very useful when it comes to thing you don't want to do.. and you tell him the real reasons you listed here..

Quote

You really should have thought about all this before you got engaged. Like someone has already said, four years is a long time.

feelinggood_2

If his Dad wouldn't move out, would you not move in? Would you still marry?

mountainofdebt

Playing devil's advocate again - would you move into the house, if the father wasn't there ? You've listed 4 reasons (out of 7) that has nothing to do with FIL-to-be as to why you don't want to move in.

I would be more concerned about the fact that IF the FIL-to-be died then what provision has he made regarding the house? If he died intestate, then your OH could be in right doggy do - as the assets of your FIL-to-be it would have to split to the rules of intestacy, regardless of who paid the mortgage.

(whilst on the subject how did your Oh get a mortgage without being named on the deeds - I thought you had to be named on the deeds to get a mortgage)

Personally I think the issue you have is more about the house itself rather than your FIL-to-be

(btw I think your FIL-to-be has every right to be in the house - if he wasn't I'm sure that the authorities would be very interested and potentially the house might have to be returned to the council due to the nature of the transaction)