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12yr old looking at unsuitable content
Comments
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Perhaps I am naive, but I was horrified at the thought of a 12 year old looking at such images, then even more horrified at those who said it was normal!!
I think that the computer should be in public place and the K9 software should be installed again. Also the suggestion of separate log on's just in case was a good one. Perhaps very regular frank chats between father and son are called for explain how those images are not realistic, or respectful.2009 wins: Cadburys Chocolate Pack x 6, Sally Hansen Hand cream, Ipod nano! mothers day meal at Toby Carvery! :j :j :j :j0 -
dieselhead wrote: »Perhaps I am naive, but I was horrified at the thought of a 12 year old looking at such images, then even more horrified at those who said it was normal!!
I think that the computer should be in public place and the K9 software should be installed again. Also the suggestion of separate log on's just in case was a good one. Perhaps very regular frank chats between father and son are called for explain how those images are not realistic, or respectful.
You are certainly not naive. :T
It is horrendous what is considered 'normal' by some. Children would naturally be curious about b00bs etc, but that doesn't mean they want to see depraved/abnormal images and there is awful stuff out there, including images of children! Would you REALLY want to expose your children to such content? And the possibility of stumbling on this content whilst looking for 'normal' images is huge.
You would protect your child as far as possible from the harms of drugs etc, the same needs to be done with the internet.0 -
I agree with the previous posters who suggest talking to your son about his views of women and the fact that !!!!!! is about as far removed from the reality of sex as a Harry Potter film is from the realities of life in boarding school!
I know a lot of men my age (mid twenties) who have some pretty funny ideas about sex, women and relationships from watching !!!!!! since they were teenagers. I'm not anti-!!!!!! and there is some reasonable stuff being made but a lot of it is appalling and definitely not the best introduction into the world of adult sexuality!0 -
dieselhead wrote: »Perhaps I am naive, but I was horrified at the thought of a 12 year old looking at such images, then even more horrified at those who said it was normal!!
I think people meant it was normal to want to look at nude pictures and be curious about sex at that age. As the OP didn't state what the pictures were it's hard to comment. I certainly remember my friends and I being very interested in pictures of fit men without their shirts on at that age. If we had been able to find pictures of fit men without their trousers on either I'm sure we would also have been very interested!
BTW I am going to memorise that "!!!!!! is about as far removed from the reality of sex as a Harry Potter film is from the realities of life in boarding school" comment for future use!0 -
Afraid if the 'net is the last thing I am...like I said before, in a professional capacity I see too often the results of ignorance of unfettered 'net access. You've no idea of the number of teenage girls who travel, often considerable distances to meet their "internet boyfriend".
It's often not so much a matter of what children can access on the net, but what can access the children.
You may be surprised to know that I don't have tight parental controls on the pc the children use. I operate on trust, and (so far, counting no chickens here) it's not been abused.
If we go by the theory of restricting something sends it underground, then why is it you looking for advice about what your 12 year old is accessing and not me....
I'm not, I am not the original poster, and I don't have a 12 year old......are you really a professional?Blackpool_Saver is female, and does not live in Blackpool0 -
incognito_n_co wrote: »there is a world of difference between pictures of naked/scantily clad women and abuse of animals, vegetables and minerals.. .
It just doesn't happen, in fact go and do it, type something into google that a 12 year old would and see what comes up.
No animals, children? No.
I come from a strange place (or maybe I'm one of the few admitting it), I use !!!!!! on the web, I like the fact that it's available and we don't have to go to the corner shop and come out guiltily clutching a paper bag any more, BUT, I also worry about it being too freely available to kids, too freely available and not graded, they can jump straight into the deep end.
I honestly don't know what the answer is.Freedom is not worth having if it does not include the freedom to make mistakes.0 -
Do some parents provide what they consider a suitable alternative such as a lingerie catalogue in the magazine rack?Posts are not advice and must not be relied upon.0
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So, he knows about the birds and the bees and obviously has some form of curiosity and/or feelings of sexual arousal, even at quite a young age.
These feelings are unlikely to go away anytime soon, even if your entire family did away with their internet connection
He'll likely continue to search, and as others have pointed out, parental controls can be circumvented.
How about posing an ultimatum...which would depend how open you are as a family, and how comfortable you are with dealing with the issue of sex and sexuality (everybody's different, and no harm if you don't feel particularly comfortable).
How about pre-approving a selection of images and sites that are "ok" for him to view? As stated, !!!!!! on the web ranges from the very mild, general nudity pics (no different than found in a biology textbook), to extremely hardcore, even illegal, which ideally nobody should be viewing, especially a 12 year old.
Again, depending how comfortable you are, it might be time for father and son to have a few frank discussions regarding what he's saw, and what he thinks about it.
Perhaps you could stipulate that he doesn't keep his habit secret (easier said than done, I know...), and that he keeps his activites discreetly away from his sister, otherwise his internet connection could be pulled, or the laptop could be permanently based in the communal lounge
If you want it to stop...full stop...placing a password on the laptop, and/or moving it into full view of the family now might be the best option. Though that will not dampen his curiosity...£1 / 50p 2011 holiday flight + hotel expenses = £98.50/£600
HSBC 8% 12mth regular savings = £80 out of a maximum remaining allowance of £2500
"3 months' salary" reserve = £00 / £3600 :eek:0 -
Do some parents provide what they consider a suitable alternative such as a lingerie catalogue in the magazine rack?
I'm not going to tell you all the other things I got up to, but 12 is very very late, not early as some people think.Freedom is not worth having if it does not include the freedom to make mistakes.0 -
OP, I have 4 sons, one of which is the same age as your's.
I insist that our main PC is in a communal room, that the family tend to all use most of the day. I have not allowed a PC in their bedrooms, and only my eldest who is 18 is allowed his own laptop, which he bought himself, and that has a password lock on it, and he does not share it with his siblings.
My 16 y/o however, has persistently used our family PC to access !!!!!!, and it was the fact that these sites often have 'pop-ups' that seem to be capable of embedding themselves swiftly into IE, that I initially gave him an internet ban for a few weeks, but have now had to insist he has a complete ban. I also discovered that he had downloaded videos, and images and transferred them onto memory sticks that he used on his mobile phone and digital camera, despite these files having been wiped from our PC's history. They are very clever at what they do. My shock was the nature of the content he'd been accessing, it was extemely hardcore, graphic, and bordering on 'specialist' to say the least. Having seen a fair bit of !!!!!! over the years, it was an education to me! It certainly didn't contain the kind of content you'd have seen in a copy of Mayfair a few years back, that's for sure. Curiosity is natural at that age, but they are only ever a few clicks away from quite deviant material.
It has not been an easy decision to stick to, especially since he has GCSE coursework, but I made him aware that he had to organise his work accordingly, and has either used the public library, or the school's PC's to do it all. He is fully up to date with all his work too.
My 12 y/o has seen a couple of the pop-ups that appeared, and I know he's seen some friends mobile phone images, but apart from that, he is now under no illusion as to what an attempt to view !!!!!! on the family PC will entail. We also made it crystal clear to the rest of the family what our 16 y/o had done, and his younger siblings are never allowed to let him 'just have a go', while they are logged on. The passwords to access the PC were all changed, and maintain top secret.One day the clocks will stop, and time won't mean a thing
Be nice to your children, they'll choose your care home0
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