12yr old looking at unsuitable content

TheEffect

Boys will be boys.

Snippa

I agree with supervising kids using the internet. Yes, kids are very internet savvy these days, more so than most parents, you can't police everything they do, and they'll get around blocks. But kids are still kids, and that means they're fearless, have a sense almost of immortality, and think they're far smarter and more streetwise than they really are. There are so many scams and dangers out there, and kids are the most vulnerable to them, because they willingly give out so much information through things like social networking sites.

Coupled with that, kids and teenagers are less able than adults to get themselves out of bad situations, more prone to peer pressure, more likely to do something impulsive, and just haven't experienced that much yet. It's for that reason that you wouldn't allow a 15/16 year old to go out on the town without you knowing where they are, who their with, what time they'll be back etc. You know they'll experiment with alcohol and worse, have sex, get themselves in bad situations - that's the fun of growing up. But you try and manage it.

The internet should be the same, imo: it's like a bit of the world outside reaching into your home. That can be wonderful, or a nightmare. I don't think you have to "police" them, just be there for them the same way you would/will with sex, drugs, alcohol, and all the other wondeful/nightmare things they'll come into contact with as they grow up.

Apricot

I don't think it is a major problem for children to be curious but the problem is that although he may be innocently-ish looking for naked women. He may come across something that he should definitely not see - there are sick people in this world. We had a block on our computer when I was younger and I was able to get around it quite easily.

I agree with the others who have said to keep the laptop in a family room where anybody can see what is being looked at.

Blackpool_Saver

amandada wrote: »

That;s the worst thing you could do with a 12 year old!!! 12 year old children (because that's what they are) shouldn't be unsupervised when using the net. I don't necessarily mean you should be looking over their shoulder the entire time they're online, but the computer they're using should be in a "public" part of the house, not hidden away in bedrooms.

There's a HUGE campaign ongoing just now, as a lot of parents simply don't realise just how vulnerable youngsters are when online.

I'm the mother of a 12 year old and can't believe how naive/ignorant so many people are

This site is worth a look http://clickcleverclicksafe.direct.gov.uk/index.html

And I am the mother of a 16 year year old and have raised 2 sets of step children, I am not naive and I am certainly not ignorant of the facts surrounding computing and the internet having taught it.

It does depend on the 'child' of course but if you restrict it so much at home you will only send it underground.

As a matter of interest how many children have you raised and how computer/internet savvy are you as you seem afraid of it...........

*Louise*

Obviously it is natural curiosity, but imo 12 is still too young to be browsing for that sort of content.

At 14/15 when they are a little more mature I could ignore it to a certain extent, but in all honesty, I don't want my son at 12 to be thinking that's what 'normal' women look like.

I keep thinking of the 12 year old girl in Supernanny's prog the other night who was slapping on the make up and trying to slim down to obtain the unachievable look these glamour girls are pushing as the ideal way to be.

I want to teach my son to respect women first, then he can do what the heck he wants when he is a little older, 'hopefully' I will have imprinted something in him first. Sure, he could get hold of mags, etc - but as someone pointed out, at least it's not free range over the whole spectrum of available pornography.

So, for the next few years, the comp in the living room will continue to be the only one the kids have access to.

Lotus-eater

*Louise* wrote: »

I don't want my son at 12 to be thinking that's what 'normal' women look like.

It's already too late for that, I was shocked when there was a tv show about sex, where they interviewed a whole school of kids, at about 14 or 15.

Every boy thought the fake breasts were the good ones, all the others were "horrible", all boys expected the women to have no pubic hair.
About half the girls either trimmed or removed their pubic hair, mostly because they said the boys expected them to do it and called them names otherwise.

I watched it with my OH and the conversation got around to if the girls I met at that age did the same. Which of course they didn't, that was 25 years ago. But I did say that if I had known about it at the time, I would have liked it.

amandada

Blackpool_Saver wrote: »

And I am the mother of a 16 year year old and have raised 2 sets of step children, I am not naive and I am certainly not ignorant of the facts surrounding computing and the internet having taught it.

It does depend on the 'child' of course but if you restrict it so much at home you will only send it underground.

As a matter of interest how many children have you raised and how computer/internet savvy are you as you seem afraid of it...........

Afraid if the 'net is the last thing I am...like I said before, in a professional capacity I see too often the results of ignorance of unfettered 'net access. You've no idea of the number of teenage girls who travel, often considerable distances to meet their "internet boyfriend".

It's often not so much a matter of what children can access on the net, but what can access the children.

You may be surprised to know that I don't have tight parental controls on the pc the children use. I operate on trust, and (so far, counting no chickens here) it's not been abused.

If we go by the theory of restricting something sends it underground, then why is it you looking for advice about what your 12 year old is accessing and not me....

eklynne

Lotus-eater wrote: »

It's already too late for that, I was shocked when there was a tv show about sex, where they interviewed a whole school of kids, at about 14 or 15.

Every boy thought the fake breasts were the good ones, all the others were "horrible", all boys expected the women to have no pubic hair.
About half the girls either trimmed or removed their pubic hair, mostly because they said the boys expected them to do it and called them names otherwise.

I watched it with my OH and the conversation got around to if the girls I met at that age did the same. Which of course they didn't, that was 25 years ago. But I did say that if I had known about it at the time, I would have liked it.

I saw that programme too. It was quite sad really. Those poor boys are going to get some right frights when they first get their chance to whip off some girl's wonderbra!

*Louise*

Lotus-eater wrote: »

It's already too late for that, I was shocked when there was a tv show about sex, where they interviewed a whole school of kids, at about 14 or 15.

Every boy thought the fake breasts were the good ones, all the others were "horrible", all boys expected the women to have no pubic hair.
About half the girls either trimmed or removed their pubic hair, mostly because they said the boys expected them to do it and called them names otherwise.

I watched it with my OH and the conversation got around to if the girls I met at that age did the same. Which of course they didn't, that was 25 years ago. But I did say that if I had known about it at the time, I would have liked it.

Yup, I know exactly what you mean, hence why I referred to the young girl in my post.

I can't do much about other 12 year olds...I can only hope to install a sense of 'normality' in my own 12 year old (when they get there)

byt the time they get to 14 they probably won't listen to a word I say anyway

snowmaid

Feelings of arousal and interest in children is normal, the trash on the internet is not. Just because he may be curious, doesn't mean I should condone exposure to the filth out there at such an early age.

We want to 'expose' our children to 'normal' stuff, but baulk and moan when they have s*x at an early age of 12 and try experiment and copy what they view.

We can tell our children that it is normal to be interested and curious about, but can't we hold off condoning the material they view until they are of an age to cope with the information they are receiving?? It is our duty as parents to protect our children for as long as possible.

We have one pc, which everyone uses. I know my son's password to his FB and mail and will now and again go on and make sure he knows I am going on, so I am not doing it behind his back. I have told him that I am more worried about people being abusive towards him than I am of him going behind my back (this is very true btw).

It is not an issue of lack of trust, it is an issue of protection. Some on here may think I am overbearing. But I have the most trust worthy child and he is very comfortable about talking to us about all types of things, and trust me, the questions can be rather uncomfortable!!