How do you say No to things you really need

bloojeans

I have...wait for it...5 bank accounts..

1. money gets paid into
2. Bills come out of
3. ongoing costs MOT money, clothing allowance, car tax etc - basically money that isnt in DD for but i know it will need paying
4. shopping allowance
5.Whats left goes in here for rainy day...trust me there isnt much in it but even if i have £10 per month left it goes in here


Just wanted to say, I hasve 4 bank account best thing I ever did. Try it its realy good.
Jo x

RAS

Norfolk_Jim wrote: »

We are looking at the budget closely but the only concrete steps taken so far are to agree that I'll do the shopping alone from now on. I can call in to the shops on my way home from work. I'm much better at shopping than my wife and can plan the meals better. No real progress on cooking from scratch etc, so much easier if one partner does that and the other does the other.

Could you check out the free delivery offers on the freebies forum here? You might be able to get a bulk delivery free say once a month of the less interesting stuff they are unlikely to scoff, like tinned tomatoes and loo roll?

savingforarainyday

Haven't been posting much lately, pressures of life, family..............., so thought I would have an evening catching up reading posts.

I have been really been touched by this thread and marvel at you keeping it together. I haven't really got the chance to put much practical advice in the pot.

But, a couple of previous posters mentioned Disability Living Allowance for Mrs Jim and reading how you have to limit her access to internet, bank accounts, acquiring perceived goodies, and how things are when you go shopping you really should apply.

I am not an expert, I am a parent of a teen (16 nearly) with high functioning autism, who has obsession, compulsions and other problems he is learning to live with, so I understand how much support you have to give someone with this condition. Please consider applying for this, as it also can impact on other benefits, as it is a none means tested benefit and you can work whilst receiving it.

(pm me if you have any questions about applying. You can get help filling forms in by charities who support people with this condition)

niccatw

Jim,

Who's your sattelite provider? If it's SKy, I've just spoken to a friend who cancelled her Sky as she couldn't afford it. They called to "retain" her and as she really couldn't afford it she refused, I think, 3 of their offers... in the end they offered her 4 packages for £10 for the next 12 months. She has two children with special needs so she jumped at the chance - sometimes Nickelodeon is her saviour and gives her a tiny bit of "me" time.

Might be worth a try whoever your provider is. Perhaps not a great saving, but every little helps.

Big hugs

bluetint

Norfolk_Jim wrote: »

The advise on these boards is generally pretty much the same, cut back to the bare bones, live frugally, pay off debt for umpty years and nver go back again - thats pretty much my approach except that I do end up going back again. ....

.....Living alone I truely believe this would never have got so bad as I can impose any kind of austerity on myself and be untroubled - in fact the happiest I've ever been was living in a concrete shack in the Malawi bush (helping a charity help poor farming communities) with no Tv, no electricity, no shops and just a bed and two sets of clothing. That was bliss. But When it comes to others, the wife, the kids, its another matter.

What do you all do when something unexpected comes your way and you have no money to pay it?

Poor 'Ol Jim, you have my complete and utter sympathy. Makes you wonder why we do it....why do we do it, by the way?

If ever you go back to that Malawi shack, keep it quiet, you'll be flooded with folks wanting to join you!

Ches

Jim 2 things that may be of use.

1. I believe you said you pay union fees. Check with your local rep if your union has a welfare dept and see if they can help in any way. I managed to get a new bed for one of my members who was strapped for cash when I was at work. They may foot the bill for a new mattress for your son at least.

2. Remove and lose some light bulbs here and there and forget to buy more. As long as you still have lighting where its necessary for safety, most rooms can lose a bulb here and there if you have fittings that use more than 1 or wall lights etc.

elfen

MrJim, I'm echoing what people have said. Would MrsJim go to the doctor for some help, it sounds like she is severely depressed apart from her OCD, and they may be able to help with both. Right now, I'd give applying for DLA for her a shot, as you know what she can and cannot do unsupervised, and it'll bring a little money in and maybe help from MrsJim. Bless you both, you're going through so much right now

hermum

Hi Jim, just called back into yhis thread to see how you're doing. Have nyou used approved foods for some of your shopping, it's delivered to you, maybe you could get friends or colleagues to split some cases with you & share the delivery cost.
Hope things are starting to look a bit brighter for you.

savingwannabe

Jim bless you.This is such a humbling diary. I find that life has good times and bad times. You are going through a hard time at the moment and things will get better.

Here are some fab tips for the kids: they just need to be shown to use some initiave and then they will be fine. Show them this message:

My dad encouraged me to get a paperround when i was a kid. Even better, recently, i encouraged some local kids to print off leaflets and do a leaflet drop offering carwashing for 2.00 pounds per car. They were rich! Only let them do 2 streets worth so you can keep an eye on them. Give them a bucket, sponges and use water from householders. Often people will give them extra as a tip. They could also ask if people were pleased with the job if they could come back in two weeks.
Kids then pay you for two sponges, marigold gloves, leaflets etc and they should have earned a lot of pocket money and may be able to help out buying chocolates in the weekly food shop.

Good luck Jim, they come from good stock so will be excellent grown ups they just need a bit of gentle pushing - we all did!

:j