Reformed shopaholic? please can you give me the benefit of your advice

CompletelyLost

morocha wrote: »

So i have survived... 5 days NSD !!!! I am happy !!.. we should do some challenges, you know ? i am a very competitive person, are you ?

Have a nice day, everyone !:j

Well done morocha :T:TI think a challenge is a good idea, too. But what?

NGlady wrote: »

Tonight spending £0 my date is skint too so he's coming round for cheesy pasta bake lol.

Is your date from MSE? I couldn't imagine inviting anyone around here on a date... I think my family would scare them. Hope you have a good evening anyway

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I'm super tired, no idea why as I haven't done anything particularly strenuous today. I'm eagerly awating a couple of things that I bought from flea'bay a week ago... I hope they arrive tomorrow, I need my fix

Hmmmm so I'm hoping I will spend <£5 over the weekend, as I have no intentions of going anywhere near shops (apart from for groceries, but will make sure I bypass the George department and the toiletries).

morocha

ohh anglea, i am sorry about ur blisters... my feet are covered on them too... and i havent done anything all this wk.. my skin is very sensitive and my blisters take longggg time to heal, so my feet are hurting too.

completely lost, get in on the sale !! you won't feel guilty.

souk, ur mum is lovely ! nice treats you got!

nglady.. it is really good that you come here and write down all u spent during the day, it makes u think, doesnt ?

eatandspendaholic, did u have a good time with ur mum?

I was thinking, for example i can be good on the weekdays but i do go a bit mad on the weekend, i was thinking we can set limits.. like no more than £10 spending on the weekend.. and if there is anything left we can either save it ( for hols.. bills.. etc) or save it for the next weekend so we have a bit more.
Either that or arrange to have X NSD during the month.

Since i have joined this thread i starting shopping a bit more in charity shops.and thinking before buying...

Anglea

If I had £10 spending at the weekends I could end up with 10 more books or 20 if I went to the cheapie charity shop!

I think my challenge has got to be - find an alternative method to deal with feelings e.g. all this week I've been buying books and cakes just because I was angry about that person wanting to visit me from overseas, and I was too scared to tell them not to.

I finally did emailed them last night. Today when I was out, I bought yet another book, this time because I was feeling really frustrated about something else.:mad:

I get like this about other issues, whenever I'm angry, sad, scared etc I find all sorts of unhelpful ways of dealing with it - or I do something that is ok e.g. eating a cake, but instead of eating one, I have three! I can still taste the cheesecake from last night and it's making me feel sick.

So that is me sorted - think up new ways of dealing with feelings. I guess this will be a lot of trial and error to come up with a good strategy.

So what are your challenges going to be?

NGlady

I think I am going to continue with my £10 per day challange, possibly look at reducing this down to £8 - I think I will need £15 on a sat and sun though

Lol nah he wasnt off money saving expert He was off match.com! It was really fun though, we had pasta bake some icecream and watched dirty dancing :S it was the only thing i had to hand lol, so now we keep ringing each other saying "So how do u call ur lover boy" "Well I pick my phone up loverl" lol. :S

Well we're going to Derby together tomorrow afternoon, wont be spending much though - I still have some food allowance left, so shall put that for lunch. Got a debenhams return to make returning a top with tags but also a dress which admittedly ive worn three times but its coming away at the seams already, so gonna get a replacement hopefully And he's driving so that will save some money, will probs pay parking though, and we want to go to starbucks to do the free coffee thing lol. generally a lovely night. Off to count my pennies ahead of tomorrow, I think Im treating him to lunch (hes not normally this skint all his car expences come out in one month bless him) so will go weatherspoons :S lol.

Blisters - i had some yesterday, could hardly walk by end of the day lol.

kate252

i agree- you are half way there by facing up to it and questioning your actions
it stems frm unhappiness i think- it does if you think it might be a bit of a problem,
you need to shift this little habit and move it to another one! but one thats a lot cheaper- some people get into charity shop bargain huning- they get the thrill of a purchase in the fraction of the cost- its ll about buying something- then it weans you off the act of shoping- once you been through a few smelly shops you get quite fed up with it.
shoping is nice activity but if you cant afford it one m ust find other activities- and ones which are equally thrilling in their own way. failing that you can always chain your self to your kitchen table until the urge to shop passes. you may find that a rediculous solution- but it works- only mentally chaining yourself mind- grip on for grim miight and say i wont do it i wont do it- and the urge does go- you have to ride through it- ride through the cravings!
i should know a gave u something a lot stronger than shopping by doing this- but then i cant say that because if shopping is your vice then its equally strong for you
perhaps now its time to discover hidden talents of yours that need to come out- which will take precendence over material things- material things ae nice but doesnt really beat the satisfaction you get from making something by hand- or designing something or offering your time for free to local services? may seem over the top- but voluntary work sure does occuy the mind- if you have less time to spend thats a bonus- and any money earning ideas? perhaps spending time making things to sell so you are getting money coming in rather than going out all the time- you mght nt make a profit or much of a one but you are winning big time by not having horrendous hemorrage of cash out of your bank account

Anglea

Hi Kate

I think the mentally chaining to the kitchen table approach is more likely to work for me because I've always had plenty of hobbies and also helped voluntarily for years until it got out of hand. It's like I can't do anything in moderation.

So I'd help one charity and before long have about 5 on the go. I love crafting but did it excessively so was left with rsi but I always have craft projects on the go, even now.

I am a keep fit fanatic and often walk for 6 hrs at a time.

I've been into charity shops for years, but just accumulate things I don't need and add to clutter.

I get very frustrated there are items that I actually need to buy but can't seem to get them anywhere, or I dislike that type of shopping.

There are loads of projects I could be working on in the house, but can never find the enthusiasm to begin.

I've also had plenty of other addictions before the shopping got a hold, I stopped them and probably got into this one as a substitute.

Good luck NGlady with your day out. And Morocha - good luck with your £10 challenge.

I've got to buy a couple of pressies and hoping I won't buy 'yet another' book I don't need.

NGlady

Well today ladies - I have been very naughty. Its quite ironic though, in the past, the amount I have spent, I would have thought "I've had a good day out" but I actually felt, quite disgusted in my behaviour in the shops lol.

This was all brought on by two things:-

1) My date had to cut early. He said this was due to his grandma taking ill (shes got quite a serious level cancer) which at the time I didn't know about, so I thought he was cutting on me. Which I wasnt too pleased about, because being a female obviously I took it personally lol.

2) In the westfield shopping centre today, they have had a promotion. Where basically, you spend £70 in the shops, and you get a free handbag. Yep Of course I did It is this seasons white colour though, and it is quite nice and I was tempted by a white bag not too dissimilar a few weeks ago.

I thought to myself, after doing this, Oh I can take it home, then return bit by bit over the next 28 days. Nah, brought it home, fell in love with the lot as it is so good for this season. Resulting in which, at this moment in time, no returns to be made. Now, if I control myself over the next fortnight or so, and have a couple of NSDs and try and have mostly MSD's (Minimal spend days) I could probably cover this, but lets be honest, who am I kidding, it probably won't happen. . . . What I am going to have to do is put a NSD price on each item, and not count it as kept until I've covered the cost, some of the items, are covered as they was out of money I've saved up

So what have I brought :S

First of all. I had to exchange a dress to Debenhams as the stitching was coming loose - exchange so no £0, whilst in Debenhams I returned a top which gave me a £12.80 return, exchanged this for a £30 dress (Brought top in sale, therefore 20% honoured on this dress) so it cost me £14.00 This money is covered. Had I of left the shops at this point, I would have two beautiful dresses that I will live in all summer...

Oh no...

Then I went to faith. My item in here was something I did need. £10 spent with a voucher, on some lovely Canvas trainers for the summer. I will wear these, these aren't so bad.

Then I went into Oasis spent £20 on a admittedly very nice summer blazer, it is something I needed, does fit really nice, so I suppose isn't too bad. However, money wise, I need 1 no spend day before I can keep it.

Then. . . I went into Newlook. I have wanted some nude coloured shoes for a little while now, and these are a low heel, comfortable (so far) and cost £14.40 whilst waiting in the queue, eye spy, a nude coloured bag, Now I remember thinking to myself, Oh I can only have one, its either shoes or the handbag, No gold stars for guessing that I brought both, bag cost £16.60 it is nice and I guess will be used a lot, but, now this is the bad bit, I was running low on "Money Im allowed to spend in the shops" so instead of putting it back, buying next week/week after, out came my Debit card, and I paid on there 3 no spend days required.

Other costs. £3.20 bus £2.00 dinner and Mothers day card/box of chocs £5, this money is covered by my £10 allowance for the day.

So there ladies, thats the shopping trip. Looking at it, I guess could be worse, and its good that I have noticed what I have spent, thought OMG over it, and realized this needs to be clawed back. In the past, I wouldn't have thought too much about it really, so I am getting there. Sorry ladies, if your now thinking, oi scary money saving expert lady I didn't need to know all this, just helps me put things into prospective

Well, my last proper night alone WOW this fortnights gone fast. Still have a little money left in the food kitty, so think I shall celebrate with a Chinese Part of me considering using this to take one no spend day away but of course I won't, i'll sit there until about nine pm and think of stuff it and have it and then not be able to sleep cos i've ate too late lol..

So there ladies, thats it... four no spend days required (claw back of £40)

I'm off now ladies to talk myself into returning some of the items, but they are really right for the summer (Yes that day in July, when Mother nature and the main supermarkets have come to an agreement to allow a day of summer, so everybody runs to the shops buys BBQ's etc and then it goes cold before there actually needed!)

Will I ever shut up!

CompletelyLost

If you return some of them, will you not have to return the free bag also..?
Our shopping centre never has offer like that... which is almost a shame, because I always spend more than £70 when I go on one of my 'sprees' :S

My friend turned up randomly, which meant going for drinks. I paid for one round, she paid for the other. So my total spend today was £4.70 (£1 on lottery, £3.70 on drinkies). I only had 1 coke and Red Bull... such a rip off, but I hardly ever go out (lol at me with zero friends :S) so I can justify this.

So yeah. Things are going to plan so far. No spends tomorrow as I deffo won't be going out.

I'm not sure what my challenge is going to be. Maybe <£100 a month on non-essentials (this includes clothes, shoes, toiletries)? It sounds like quite a lot I know, but for me that is a miniscule amount. And lots of NSDs.

Next week is Cheltenham week, so I will be spending a lot of time doing matched betting and probably not going out! Should make at least a few hundred £s (last year I made close to £1000 :beer:) I love matched betting

NGlady

Yep, I enquired whether I could keep the handbag if I returned the items as I hadn't tried on, and I could keep the handbag which is good. Well, its deffo the first time i've ever seen such a promo on, must remember to keep my eyes peeled in the future huh!£4.70 is a really good day of spending, I wouldn't put your challange in the position where you can't go out and have a bite to eat or afford to catch the bus enough to go for a wonder round, enjoy life too Whats matched betting? Coke and red bull? In the same glass?!

Shoe_Gal

I have £100ish 'fun' money each month - and often have to choose between going out and shoes I usually choose going out as staying in with fantastic shoes isn't as much fun :rotfl::rotfl:

BTW - my 'extra' spends today were a mascara and some teeth whitening stuff