Reformed shopaholic? please can you give me the benefit of your advice

moggylover

Phew salesaddict! Lots of good advice, and you are really finding things out about yourself and your relationship quickly at the moment! Facing them is the first step to changing them - but do take it steady as I think too much too fast can be dangerous.

I also "discovered" Aldi towards the end of last year, and certainly find their vegetables are every bit as good as Tesco and at a fraction of the price! Had to laugh on Saturday last though, I was in Tesco (after Aldi) and looking for some carrots as Aldi had sold out and a lady was bemoaning the cost (£1.45) of the tiny Cornish cauliflowers to her husband. I apologised for overhearing and suggested she pop over to Aldi as I had just paid 85p each in there and they were Cornish as well and a bit bigger than most of those in Tesco. She looked so horrified as she said: "Ooh Aldi! They're so ucky though!" And she actually stepped back from me as if I had something catching!!!! Her husband shook his head and rolled his eyes at me and I laughed most of the way around the shop! I mean, it wasn't as if she was buying Organic in Tesco - so I suspect they both get them from the same wholesaler;)

Don't feel too bad about moving down a brand on things: many times they are the same item in different packaging, and sometimes they have less salt and sugar than the branded one so it isn't always a lesser quality item;).

Anglea

NGlady wrote: »

Oh im the same - I can go out for the day. Say to Alton towers, but by 7 hours there, im itching to go wonder round the shops and buy a teddybear i dont actually ever need just to have a purchase :S

I know just what you mean about trips out.

I also feel like that whenever I go into a charity shop, I cannot leave without buying something. I think it's because I usually spend so much time browsing that I feel obliged to buy something.

NGlady

Oh the feeling oblidged!
I went into a shop in the westfield centre in derby last friday a new shop which tbh looked no better than newlook on the outside lol - went in they asked if i wanted a glass of bucks fizz im like ok - so walked round, and noticed it was like a hundred quid for a dress :O now its not expensive if you needed a dress but i was walking round trying to find anything cheap :S
Then I saw the carrier bags - and i felt the urge. Do you ever get an urge over a lovely carrier? I get the urge with coast for that reason :S
In the end i managed to toss the rest of the bucks fizz down (lol) and walk out quietly lol

powned

cool thread, im going to get my girlfriend to read this. Her spending is getting out of control, fine while her dads paying. It will be a different story when shes living with me!

bluebag

Go to cash only, get a hole in the wall card that has no overdraft and no debit card facility. Pay all bills first by direct debit, what's left is cash only.
No credit cards at all.
Very sadly it's the position that many of us end up in anyway eventually, but with the added stress of debt.
My addiction was holidays. I have to save and pay cash now. It takes flippin ages!
bb

lynzpower

NG,

The best way to get websites to "forget" your card- is to phone your bank ( why not do it now if you have cash in the purse to last) tell the bank youve lost your card and need a replacment.

Chop that card up-= no need really as it cant be used. In future if you want to order anything again, then youll need to put the card details in again.

I have to go to the post office today, to post amazon and ebay sales, so I cant leave my purse at home. Otherwise Id join in, I certainly think i could do with having no money on me a couple of times a week.

I also wonder to any of you- do you have "budgets" I have only just really started working in a STRICT budget this year and am trying and doing the frugal challenge. Spent a lot of money last year on junk and tut. No idea where it went . I now have a budget for "wasting" per week of 10.00. I could buy as many junkie items as I want for 10- without the guilt.

CompletelyLost

salesaddict wrote: »

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Hi Mags

I know what you mean. I even love food shopping. Since I have been on this site i have tried Aldi and Lidl and moving down brands and I can spend ages in Supermarkets over the food shopping. But up until, I suppose, my lbm, I would make savings on the food then splurge in the sales on clothes and make up. That is not really a very maternal thing to do. A Mother is supposed to do her best for her children, you know with regards the best food and making other sacrifices for them . I feel really guilty about this at the moment as I am thinking of all the times I have put myself first instead of my family. It really hits me with a full force now that my teenage son once laughingly said to me that I was like a teenager with a credit card. He was joking, but when you really think about that what an indictment.

I think that's a good idea actually, so long as you're not like me and end up spending more than you usually would on food shopping, to make up for your lack of other purchases :mad:

Anglea wrote: »

I know just what you mean about trips out.

I also feel like that whenever I go into a charity shop, I cannot leave without buying something. I think it's because I usually spend so much time browsing that I feel obliged to buy something.

^I could have written that myself I always feel like the assistants will be looking at me and thinking 'stingy cow' if I walk out with nothing. Either that, or they'll think I'm a shoplifter. I don't know where this anxiety comes from (particularly the shoplifter thing)?

salesaddict

I wasn't going to post this as I didn't want you to collectively feel that I had let you down after all your good advice an coping strategies.
There was a mini mid season on at marks and sparks this morning. 50 pct off.
Never mind that I'd received a text from my boss saying I need to be in earlier because of a colleagues sickness. I thought stuff you, he was so unbelievably rude to me yesterday:mad:.

So I did my usual sweep, the one I had promised myself I would not do again. Did not see anything at all that caught my fancy in the clothes. Relief Zipped down those same escalators to the toiletries. And I have pledged to give up buying those until I have used all mine up:(.

The thing is I really love the 4 products I have bought. They totalled £11.
The reason I had my debit card is because it is a friends birthday tomorrow.:o

So this is what I am going to do. I already agreed with my ds and dd that they will help me lay all my toiletries stash over the weekend and we are going to photograph it. I might not post it on the toiletries thread as others have done as I may be too ashamed.But I will see and they will see.

I am going to give my purchases today to my dh to give back to me from the kids for my birthday next week:o (yes, I know, but it makes sense to me)

I am going to give back the debit card to my dh for safe keeping despite the feeling of panic that this induces in me in case I should be stuck without it in an emergency. I can't really frame in my mind what type of emergency this might be:(

I am going to try the £10 allocation just to waste. But obviously I am going to do my level best not to waste it:o

I am going to look into selling the majority of my books. This seems the least painful way for me to start.

Hope your still with me and thanks for reading:)

Anglea

CompletelyLost wrote: »

^I could have written that myself I always feel like the assistants will be looking at me and thinking 'stingy cow' if I walk out with nothing. Either that, or they'll think I'm a shoplifter. I don't know where this anxiety comes from (particularly the shoplifter thing)?

You say you don't know where the 'shoplifter' anxiety comes from but as soon as I read your post I remembered where mine came from. It was years ago after reading about that well know elderly lady that got arrested for shoplifting, I think she killed herself and it stayed on my mind.

Salesaddict - £11 is obviously much better than it could have been with all those nice clothes.

Lynzpower - having a maximum amount to spend (waste ) each week - that's a good idea. My only problem with that is that I can get a lot of books in the charity shops, and then I get 'information overload'. So I'll have to limit the amount of things I buy.

I think that by having so much stuff we can't enjoy any of it as there are too many choices to make. If we only had a good minimum then we could use and appreciate them properly.

Years ago I decided to made a stand against my craft addiction especially buying every single magazine out, so I gave them all away as well as spending a lot of money sending the kits overseas at my own expense to people in my online groups. Guess what happened? Before long I got stacks more :mad:

I think that if we stop doing something we feel we need to fill the void somehow.

So salesaddict, if you stop the M&S sales, what are you going to do instead?

velocity.girl_2

salesaddict wrote: »

I can Lynz, but only if there are shops nearby:o
Normally I will leave dh and dd in the funfair, or park and go and 'browse'
then meet up with them later. I don't know any other Mum who would do this.:(

I do it you are not on your own...i leave my bloke playing on the beach with my 2 kids age 5 and 3 and i shop...i'll walk around and convince myself i'll only be an hour and then i'm 2 and i've spent money on stuff i've 'forgot' to pack or the kids 'really' need...my bloke is resigned to the fact i won't be able to sit there on the beach for longer than an hour before i toddle off:o:o the poor man

It's never for me tho, ALWAYS for the children...i came from a poor upbringing too(i was dragged up by a dole dossing waster of a father-nother thread waiting to happen) i just want them to have everything i never had...it's wrong i know but i associate decent clothes and the latest toys etc with happiness and love...i'm in therapy for it but it's not really getting any better:(