Reformed shopaholic? please can you give me the benefit of your advice

Frogletina

Hi Anglea - and is there anyone else out there?

Don't be envious of the contents of my wardrobe - they are all things that used to fit me, mostly many years old now that I just hope I will fit into once again. Oh, and it also has my holiday clothes in.

The clothes I wear fit into just one half size wardrobe (I have a sloping roof). What I have done is remove everything that fits me, and it only goes back in the wardrobe if I wear it. At the end of next year, I am going to throw away everything not in there as I will have been through every season. I do have a separate wardrobe for coats and jackets though.

I still have not eaten any crisps or chocolate - doing well, even though the scales don't reflect it yet. And I have not had any cravings despite having Guylian chocolate and Thorntons in the house.

I wonder where everyone has gone too - perhaps Christmas shopping!

Frogletina

Anglea wrote: »

I had a terrible day yesterday, got into a big argument, felt awful, really down I ended up excercising from about 1 am - 2 am to try and keep myself sane. Better today. Must have needed to get things out of my system but frightened my parents as I was acting strange at their house yesterday, I found out when I saw them today that Dad had been up most of the night worrying about me.

Have you any idea what made you feel so bad? I have felt a bit depressed lately, just wondering what direction my life is going in - well it's not going anywhere, which is the real point I guess.

I still feel at times as if I am a teenager (I missed out those years as I married young) but I hate being the age I am, which is .. for those who are intrigued

Anglea

Hi Fr I'll reply tomorrow as I'm about to get a call and don't want to be halfway writing.

Anglea

Hi all

FR I know what you mean about feeling a teenager. I still feel very young inside and I used to hear a lot of older people say the same.

As to missing out on your youth, I narrowly escaped marriage when I was in my teens, I broke it off which led to serious repercussions.

I think what really upset me recently was a culmination of things - the sheer boredom and frustration of my life, hating being alone and a lack of mutually beneficial friends. Everyone I tend to meet just off loads their problems on me and that is all they talk about. I want friends to have a laugh with.

Now I have met a man (on this site, MSE) and we get on really well. Mum is having kittens about it. She thinks anyone using the internet isn't to be trusted (does that include me?)

She seems to think that having another relationship = complications and people trying to get hold of your money and says I ought to learn to live alone. I felt really upset when she said that, especially as I told her I had been feeling really lonely my whole life and just wanted love and happiness.

There was a time long ago I never told mum anything about my personal life and never had the kind of arguments I get now. However, I can't seem to stop myself from bringng up these topics, as though I want her approval and interest.

Frogletina

Hi Anglea

Your life in some ways seems to mirror mine, the sheer boredom and frustration I can relate to very well.

Would the repercussions that you had because you didn't get married outweight the problems you might have had if you got married? I had to deal with domestic violence and homelessness (as I walked out, with baby in tow)

I don't talk to one of my girls about being lonely as she just tells me to get a cat! I find that I have to limit what I tell her, though she has now found out that I have tried internet dating. She also knew that I had a relationship with Beau, and that did worry her (money being uppermost).

I hope things go well with this new man of yours. We all deserve happiness in life - should there be a point in our lives when we say that we ought to give up looking for it?

I know my girls don't always approve of my actions - that's ok, I don't always approve of theirs! My son, on the other hand ,said to me 'do what makes you happy' and although he may not approve, he keeps his thoughts to himself, though the word 'cougar' has been mentioned from time to time!

Well, all the family came round today,even my ex husband. Plus my ex houseguest as the only non-family member. It all went really well and everyone went home happy. I can finally relax. I switched on the computer to find I had missed Beau by 2 minutes but he'll be back another day.

ziggles50

Hi guys- reading but nothing meaningful to add- not that it's ever meaningful but.....
Frog and Anglea-i speak as one who had to suffer the frustrations of a married too soon woman- not pretty. I would say grab your chance now- you only live once- and you two sure know that! And it's not as if you're affecting anyone else with your decisions (inheritance issues aside:cool:). Here endeth the sermon from one who knows nothing.:p
P.s. you [STRIKE]old[/STRIKE]:D ladies aren't the only ones to suffer fron these feelings- i've had them for years- since i've had no-one to tell me what to do next i've stagnated- and become such a boring, scared, weak creature. My uni friends from 10 years ago wouldn't recognise me!
@ Anglea- I am a lover of cardigans- just not those ones! I really like Leanne's (corrie) ones with pretty designs on- but i tend to go plain so i don't look even bigger than i already am.

I have been bingeing this week again:o- lots of fudge- no idea why- not feeling a lot these days, except unsettled.:(

@CL- how are you doing? Let us know we're concerned.

Anglea

Hi girls

Ziggles, what is this obsession with fudge? I can't work it out. Is it the sugar or the flavour?

After reading your post Ziggles, I started wondering if there is a connection between shopaholics and the state we all have found ourselves in although that might not tie in with Morocha and NGlady. Except for Morocha's last post however, hopefully NGlady still loved up.

FR, it's strange but until recently I couldn't really identify with your quest for love. It's because I convinced myself that I wouldn't get into another relationship after ex because deep down I always had a fear I'd never meet a soulmate (or even decent female friend).

Today I told ex how I had been feeling lately, about mum's views and about the new friend, that we planned to work on a book together (he is a full time writer and I used to be) and possibly starting a business too, he's visiting me in December.

My son also knows about him and is perfectly ok.

I'm glad that your family gathering was a success. It was also nice to read that some of your children allow you to be yourself I suppose to please everyone is going to be difficult especially if they are the sort of people that find it hard to go with the flow.

Frogletina

Ziggles! I'm sure Anglea too noticed the [STRIKE]old[/STRIKE] ladies! I'm not having any more birthdays, I want to turn the clock back. Sorry you are feeling unsettled, perhaps it's the winter drawing in.

Anglea wrote: »

I suppose to please everyone is going to be difficult especially if they are the sort of people that find it hard to go with the flow.

I think my children just worry about me - you go from parents worrying about you/telling you what to do - then it's men, then it's your children! Beau was a concern, Turkish men being known for taking advantage of English women. Am I a 'shopaholic' where men are concerned?

Anglea, I didn't know you were a writer. I write but have never made any money from it, but my 'quest for love' (as you have put it) has given me lots of inspiration for my poems

Anglea

Hi all

That was very naughty of Ziggles talking about age. Perhaps it's revenge for my comment about a secret santa of Per Una cardies

You and I, FR, are very similar with the birthdays.

Writing - I don't tend to talk about anything on here other than compulsive book buying. There are a lot of things about me in real life that would probably surprise people

What is going on with that guy in Turkey?

Frogletina

Anglea wrote: »

Hi all

That was very naughty of Ziggles talking about age. Perhaps it's revenge for my comment about a secret santa of Per Una cardies

You and I, FR, are very similar with the birthdays.

Writing - I don't tend to talk about anything on here other than compulsive book buying. There are a lot of things about me in real life that would probably surprise people

What is going on with that guy in Turkey?

Nothing really.

Beau still contacts me on msn/facebook but I did tell him I wasn't going to spend any more holidays with him. We can't have proper conversations as his English is almost as poor as my Turkish and I'm far too independent to be a good little Turkish wife/girlfriend.

He regarded my money as our money when I was on holiday with him - he had no money at all, yet was happy spending mine while telling me that some of the things I wanted to do were 'too much money'.

Bym is so different - he is a graduate, has a good intellect, well travelled and also writes.