Reformed shopaholic? please can you give me the benefit of your advice

lostinrates

salesaddict, I post n the no spend on toiletries thread too. I have no advice really, just want to say I'm pleased that you are tackling this...I'm sure in the long run solving this problem is going to make you happier than having a Boots shop full of stuff ever could! Good for you.

savingmummy

Your certainly not alone!
You know that girl you know who always has the latest perfume, cd, mascara, handbag and always seems to go shopping.....the boy who always has new mobiles and always goes out shopping at weekends for a shirt to wear at the pub? ALL shopoholics and ALL in debt!

I actually used to be jealous of my friends when i saw them with bags and bags of shopping, new shoes, new this and that I know know i have nothing to be jealous of
Most people who spend like this are in debt or using debt to pay for it!

I`m glad i beat it x

CompletelyLost

debtdesperado wrote: »

I agree with NGlady... I used to spend so much on 'little' treats (basically premium makeup and skincare)... I did the 'use everything up' challenge in 2007 and didn't need to buy anything until November (and then it was just shampoo, which was always normally too boring for me to think of buying :-). At the start I did a rough total and just in relation to hair conditioners of various kinds I had nearly £80 worth of bottles of conditioner... typing that now, I'm horrified!

The other habit I had was to buy clothes only in the sales... I didn't have a plan, so would go round the shops and overspend thinking I'd got loads of 'bargains'... let's just say when I cleared out my wardrobe I was able to sell most things brand new with the tags on ebay, and I raised nearly £1000... and most of it was really cheap stuff, not designer so only got a few pounds for each item, but it mounted up!

I have learnt the following:

1. I get bored of a product if I buy it on 3 for 2 and then 2 bottles normally languish in a drawer - now I buy one at a time, and when it runs out and has been completely used up, I buy a different one.

2. I plan what I want in the sales, and only buy that. I only let myself impulse buy full price things - generally I'm still too tight :-D to pay full price, so I don't.

3. If I buy something, it has to be worn within 7 days of getting it home. If I don't wear it within a week, I never will, so it goes back to the shop. Generally because I plan my purchases I don't have this, but old habits die hard, and there have been occasions where old habits die hard and I have come home with sparkly party dresses in January...so I take it back.

4. I always force myself to ask one of the assistants before I take it to the till 'if it's not right, can I return it and get my money back?' ... I can't be bothered to faff with credit notes, so if they say no, credit note only, that generally puts me off unless I am sure about the item.

5. I don't let myself stockpile things...this was my worst habit. It's a comfort thing, I think, but to reassure myself, I run through all the different places I could buy that item if I wanted to.

6. I don't walk round the shops aimlessly any more...:-)

7. The more stuff you get rid of (sell, charity shop or bin) the better you feel, and the less stuff you actually want to bring into your home. Selling clothes also shows you that nothing is an investment, even brand new designer stuff only goes for a quarter of what it costs... the value is in USING it, not just 'having' it.

8. I keep in mind the goal that I have to use EVERYTHING - if I use something and it wears out or gets used up, I can enjoy selecting another replacement.

It's hard! I lapse ocassionally, but I don't worry about it too much. Sometimes I waste money, but I tell myself that is a learning experience and that at least now I recognise when I'm wasting money...

^^Thank you for taking the time to post this, it is excellent advice.. Especially the bits in bold... things I should probably think about more often.

My bad habit is to buy things from online websites, only to send them back a few weeks later (unworn of course). It gives me the buzz of shopping, and then another buzz from getting my money back. I'd say that nowadays I return around 75% of what I buy... terrible, but at least once I've got it home I can make an informed decision about an item.

But yeah, although I'm not in any debt, I think I could easily fall into the same trap as some people on this board have. I see your posts in the toiletries thread and I almost feel relieved to see I'm not the only one who can't go a couple of days without buying something And for me, when I'm not spending on toiletries, I'm spending extra on clothes. Grrrrr - can't win!

This thread is full of great advice, so thanks for making it.

Mags30

[QUOTE=CompletelyLost;29506171I_almost_feel relieved to see I'm not the only one who can't go a couple of days without buying something [/QUOTE]

NGlady wrote: »

When im out and I feel that over powering urge to have a splurge, buy a pair of socks. It costs £1 but your mind is satisfied you've had a shop.

I didn't post earlier but I can't stop thinking about this thread since I saw it earlier today. I too tend to never go more than a week without buying something. I'm well aware that I like shopping but I would never have seen it as an addiction probably because:

ninky wrote: »

good luck. i think shopping addiction is a bit like binge drinking in this country. many don't realise they have a problem because so many others have it too.

Like the example of the pair of socks my purchases are usually bargains with 70% off.

This thread has really made me think so thanks to everyone who contributed. I have a question if anyone can answer it: Other addictions like alcohol/gambling/smoking/drugs are usually dealt with by completely stopping the activity but nobody can completely stop shopping so how is it cured? I'm expecting people to say "buy only what you need" but doesn't any shopping fix even nice food at the supermarket feed the addiction a bit more?

MsRed1

Well done salesaddict.

As you can see you're not alone. I'm really looking forward to your next post.:):)

Souk08

Hi salesaddict, I used to be the same as you. I worked in a busy city centre in a shop and spent lunchtimes and days off shopping. I bought luxury everything, knew all the sales assistants and loved the buzz...but it was all on credit. I then left the Uk to work away for years (nothing to do with this) and signed over an agreement to pay a tiny amount back each month. This will go on til after I am long dead btw as it was about 5K in 9 months and was added to other debts.

Now I am back and I just dont want to do that again. Money is tight so i have squeezed a bit onto cards but it was experiences ie meals, not clothes and make up this time. I guess for me I now want to do stuff not have stuff. I don't know how you can learn that but I basically budget every month, look at all my outgoings and then divide what I have left by the four weeks. It's not much so it's up to me whether to sit in, looking out at life wearing fab clothes or to spend it on living. I chose life! Good luck lady. It is hard but stay out of the shops and get some other distractions and a debt free life can be yours XXX

judyjetson

Well done Salesaddict, you can do this. Don't get discouraged if you fall off the wagon, because nobody's perfect and it happens to us all. There's some really great advice on here that can help you.

By the way, I know you've said on the other thread you can't ebay any of your toiletries because they're opened, one thing you can sell on there opened/used is perfume, so if you've got loads of those that you don't use/want you can get rid there.

GetRealBabe

Hi salesaddict

Have you read 'Diary of a ex-spendalholic' in Debt Free Diaries?

GRB

singlemumstudent

Hi. I really need help too! I have been spending more and more money that I do not have. It's always been nice stuff at sale prices, but I just don't NEED it. For instance - I just spent £50 on underwear in a sale, when I already have a stash of unworn stuff under the bed. Yet somehow, I haven't replaced my broken microwave because even the cheapest model at just under £30 seemed like too much money...

I started writing down everything I was spending at the beginning of the year but stopped, because I didn't want to face reality! I have always been a strong person with lots of willpower and I don't really know what has happened. Maybe I like the feeling of losing control? But I just can't do this anymore. I'm not buying the things I need, just things I like, and it doesn't make sense.

I just found this thread and it is so good knowing there are other people out there in the same situation. I suppose posting on this thread is the first step. The second is only keeping the card from my current account available (I've only got a £50 overdraft on this, so then I can't keep eating away at the others)

I don't have much money to start with. But my goal is to stop spending what I don't have and pay £80 a month into my debt. I need to stop now before I really get into trouble - I feel kind of ashamed of myself.

MsRed1

singlemumstudent wrote: »

I don't have much money to start with. But my goal is to stop spending what I don't have and pay £80 a month into my debt. I need to stop now before I really get into trouble - I feel kind of ashamed of myself.

Hello singlemumstudent.

You shouldn't feel ashamed. You've done the hardest thing: you've admitted that you have a spending problem and need to confront it.

When I was working I thought nothing of spending £80 or more on Lush toiletries. Now that I'm not working I know that I can no longer do that. I had to stop spending money on toiletries. With the help of the 'no buying toiletries thread', I'm weaning myself off the desire to buy stuff that I do not need. It's hard but the money that I'm saving is the greatest incentive.

singlemumstudent. like salesaddict you can do it. It may take a while but you've taken the most important first step and set yourself a goal. Well done.:):)