New year, New me (finally)

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Just roasted my first chestnut (singular, and rather cremated it, than roasting). Don't have a chestnut pan, so used the gripper of one of the hearthside tools and hung it over the fire. OH is test driving it for me.

This kind of got me thinking though, we can enjoy the heat to warm us, but maybe we can save a bob or two on our gas and electricity by cooking some dishes over the open fire, rather than switching on the oven. You can it seems, there are whole books on the subject. Jacket potatoes, pizza, flatbreads, fish, chicken and on the list goes......

Imagine that, having your guests over for dinner, and the food is fire to plate in minutes. I'm serious, this is one to be explored

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2011 is going to be a year of challenges it seems. Overcame the joy of returning to work (not), to see email headed voluntary severance. So it is most likely that I will not be in my role this time next year. Now at this point I am refusing to get negative, although I know I could slip into this.

We never know what the future might bring, where it may take us, and how this will change us as a person. It's scary, but it's exciting, and that's life.

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So yes I admit I woke up at 5 today, and the first thing that was on my mind was 'aaagggh job', so true to my promise, I got a grip on this and tried to think through what was worrying me, and what I could conceivably do about it.

I wrote a task list today of personal things and career development investigations. It is my intention to work through this list today. Also decided that I am going to go to my usual hairdressers for my haircut, as this boosts my confidence having my hair look better, and my confidence always needs a boost.

Got my personal/life coaching on friday, so going to make preps for that today. Hope I don't burst into tears, although it will be hard as I am teasing out and dealing with personality traits/fears that have been with me for 30 years.

I may not believe myself yet, but I am going to keep saying my mantra-I am an interesting and fabulous person. I give love and I am loved.

This may be slightly morbid of me, but puts things into perspective. Who is going to mention at your funeral whether you failed at something, bodged that job, and so on. In the end it really doesn't matter. Life is for living and for doing what you enjoy.

So here's to a positive day, and not procrastinating.

Today's crafty task is to order wooden doves, acrylic paint, and gingham ribbon for make christmas decorations. I will do this and not procrastinate!!!!

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Doves paint and ribbon ordered. I did it, I didn't procrastinate. I also cancelled my £27 haircut and went for a £13.95 haircut instead. I also re-discovered the hairdressers that I used to go to with my mum when I was 14. £9 for a drycut. Bargain.

I'm going to pick up some red fabric samples tomorrow to make a merry christmas bunting. Taught myself how to properly word process today, learning things all the time.

One of my forms is being used at work, and I've developed a database to record information-all self taught last week.

Got some feedback from the interview, there were 7 candidates who were interviewed, three were strong, I was one of the strong ones, the other person could demonstrate greater experience of the role. Now I know the problem, I can address it, so time to lead a project (not involving money) at work, I need that essential experience, and I'm going to try and get on the stress risk assessors training and some health and safety training too.

Working on the crafts and working on me. 2011 you're going to be a tough one, but a rewarding one too. I'm soo close to my debt free date now I can smell it, and I'm not going to have it ruined.

I had a 'prestige' offer from Barclaycard today? What's the matter, paying off my card and you're desperately trying to get my business?? Well I'm in control now, and you lot are not getting a penny more of my money after January 2011. I hold the reigns and I'll not be taken in by you lot again.

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Ssssssssssssllllllllllllleeeeeeeeeeeeeeppppppppppppyyyyyyyy

Wow, it's thursday already and that's another week down. Just two more weeks until more debt busting can be done. Yay.

Going to look out for more jobs today. I'm setting myself the target of july 2011 as the time I need to find a job by, as this is the finish date that they have given for the voluntary redundancy people. I can't see many coming forward for that to be honest, except perhaps those who have been there for years, and were thinking of retiring soon anyway.

Interim ADR in just over a week-hmmm where do I see myself in 12 months? Erm, tricky one to answer, that.

Anyway, off to source more cheap materials for the christmas decorations. Need a glue gun, willow twigs ribbon......

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Had a really good day today. Had some coaching (nothing like in Rocky), to help with my confidence issues. Best thing I ever decided to do. Today I stopped procrastinating, accepted a compliment without making the self deprecating comments afterwards, and also booked a lecture theatre to give a speech to my friends to practice not being scared to make myself heard infront of groups.

Whilst I was booking that room, the technician completely spur of the moment made me do a quick one line speech while they were sat at the back of the theatre (voice projection was my fear), and they totally heard me. Also while we were speaking, turns out we did the same degree with the OU and I ended up being sent some good material to use as part of my research for the masters etc.

So here is living proof to myself and anyone else out there, that facing your fears pays dividends.

Result!!!!!

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There's a man in my kitchen, who could it be?

Well actually it's OH, up before me and having made a start on bread, marons glaces, sugar plums, and candied peel. My goodness what a nice surprise!!!

Plans for today are to use my new teeny tiny gingerbread man cutter, to make cute boy and girl gingerbread men, or should that be people to be PC?

Anyhow, still on the search for a cheaper glue gun to make my pine cone wreaths and candle base things. Decided that my hometown is completely rubbish when it comes to things crafty. I couldn't so much as get a scrap of red paper to make those paper chain thingys. Still struggling to find the right material for my christmas garland. Have tried our market, button shops, vintage fabric on the internet, and even charity shops for an old skirt or two. Nothing.

I need to live in Kirsty Allsopp land. She has loads of awesome shops. In fact screw it, I just want to be Kirsty Allsopp. Awesome sense of style, nice big spangly jewellery, plenty of money etc etc.

Now need to shop for some baroque pearls, which I am going to use to make some christmas decorations. Going for a v luxe look this year, with champagne coloured wired ribbon on the tree, chandelier crystals glittering from the branches, and some silk and pearl heart shaped baubles. All created whilst watching home alone 1, and perhaps bridget jones' diary. Sounds like a fab day.

Over and out for now

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Do you know, there is such a thing as being too organised. Earlier in the year I found a lovely cashmere jumper for my father for the amazing price of £6. Snapped it up, thinking that will be good for Christmas. I put it somewhere, where the moths couldn't get at it, and I put it somewhere so secret, not even I can find it now. That's a false economy now, as I need to go out and buy something else. Dammit!!!! And my budget was working so well.

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Please could the snow come back? It made the garden look so much tidier. Plus it seems that the drain might have frozen over, under the snow and there is a lovely not so snowy white decoration of used toilet paper all over the slabs. Nice!

Day three of cold like symptoms, grrrr. Oh well, off to work it is.

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Ok, so what's going on here?

The drain is blocked again. Why? Goodness only knows, last time it was because I used some not so flushable, flushable toilet wipes. Great, so that £50 to get that unblocked, and a day of cleaning dried on tissue off the patio, before we get a letter from the landlord, highlighting the problem to us.

Also HMV whats the deal? I decided to do the bulk of my Christmas shopping on here as one experience in town, at the weekend, has put me off for life. Thought this would be easier did I? Silly me. Email comes through yesterday saying they are having trouble processing my card. Well I'd also had another email saying that one of the disks had been dispatched, and this was on the same order. Please call the extortionate 0845 number. So I did this, the guy on the phone seemed a bit vague as to what was going on, mentioned that the item was out of stock currently, and also had the cheek to ask if I was sure I had enough money in my bank account!!!!!!!!!!!

In these financially sensitive times especially, they should not be asking questions like that. So then called my bank on another 0845 number, and they said that nothing was wrong, and that it must be the HMV system.

£1.68 of calls later, and this DVD is significantly more expensive than I wanted to pay.

Now my only guess is this, that the item is not in stock, therefore they will not take the payment, because they don't have the item. Now why couldn't the ruddy email just say this, instead of making it sound like the bank had refused to authorise payment!!!!!!

Grrrr. Anyway, I'm still non the wiser. Perhaps I'll get a DVD, perhaps I won't. So annoying. And I will be writing my first complaint letter.

Poor OH and the cold weather, bad asthma today. Bless him.

Alright then. Off to earn some more pennies to pay this lot off. Soon, soon.