New year, New me (finally)

Nottoobadyet

Fingers crossed for you!

thrifty_fifty

Thanks

Still haven't heard yet. Half relief half dissapointed because I think that means I haven't got it. Why are human beings so complex? Why can't we just feel one emotion at a time, feeling two opposite emotions at the same time is a nightmare. So as far as I'm concerned at the moment I haven't got it, and if I have then it's a surprise. Well we'll see.

thrifty_fifty

Morning!

Well now I know that i didn't get the job, but I will be asking for feedback so I know where to improve for the future. I've cleared out my email inbox today which I have been meaning to do for ages. This has prompted me to start a list of things I have achieved in a day, just so that I know I am achieving something. Longer term goals include getting down to some research, obviously clearing this debt, and continuing to work on me and the life that OH and I are trying to build together.

Although at times it seems like to the journey to be debt free will never end, in a way it has been good and there have been painful lessons to be learnt along the way.

1. It broke up a relationship that I didn't have the courage to end myself.
2. It has made me realise the true value of friends (and those who are not really your friends)
3. It prompted OH and I to start renting this cottage and to grow our own food on an allotment, and to make awesome home made food.
4. It has made us realise where our money was going and we appreciate trips to a restaurant.cinema more because they are so infrequent now.
5. It has made us assess what we want out of life
6. It has given us the courage to fight back, and question if we think we have been overcharged.
7. It has made me realise that large financial institutions only have power if you give it to them, if you don't spend on your card, they can't have interest from you, if you save for that thing you want, they can't take a direct debit every month for that loan.
8. It has made us realise that if you hate your job, then cut back, be thrifty and cut out all those monthly demands on your income, that way you can pay your mortgage off, cut down your cost of living and so that leaves you more options to change your job, cut your hours, retire early. Afterall given the choice between working and doing some of the things you always wanted to do, which would it be? Life is too short to spend it being bullied, unhappy, overworked, lets start living again.

thrifty_fifty

Ok, so OH wants to plan a trip to Christmas markets in December, it's both of our 30 birthdays next month, but I'm such a misery I just don't want to spend money, lots of little £10-£30 things coming up in the next three months, haircuts, chimney sweeping, birthdays. I want to get OH something nice for his birthday, but I'd rather us get out of debt more. Looks already like I'll be going one month over my planned DFD date and I don't want to stretch it out any further. Ok, breath deep and reassess. Loan will be £1600 by the end of the year, CC2 will be £1000 and cc1 will hopefully be sub 4k. I know this sounds really mean and not that the question has been popped, but looking at don't tell the bride, does it really cost around £12,000 to get married? That's an awful lot of money for one day.

I would love to buy a pretty dress and go out for a meal for my 30th but I just can't justify spending the money. I think OH is planning a 1/2 day spa day, which would be fantastic and much needed after the stress of the past few years, but I would much rather he didn't spend the money. I really don't feel like making a big deal of my birthday, to be honest a nice home cooked meal followed by pj's curled up on the sofa with a glass of wine, some maltesers and some trash tv would be my perfect day (and MSE fantastic).

I keep slipping into fantasy land where I either win the euromillions this weekend (yeah right!) or £5k rolls up on the doorstep so I can finally be free of Virgin CC. I suppose this is only 7 months in though, and these debts have been lingering for years. Less than a year to go on the loan now-crikey that was 5 years at the start. I can do this (eye of the tiger and all that)

thrifty_fifty

Hi Guys

Greatly gutted today at having to spend £10, as this takes me below the £100 I was trying to save until the end of the month to go towards birthday costs, and more to the point having to spend £10 on 1 yes 1 tablet. Healthcare is the only thing that you don't seem to be able to save much money on, and even if you can find the un branded drugs on the internet for 15p, you need prescription to get it £7.15 later. Grrr.

Still, this month is flying by and means that it's only two more weeks until more total crashing, and on new years eve as I'm toasting the new year coming in, I'm going to have a warm feeling inside. I will have cleared half my debts, and it will be the year that I become debt free. Getting the chimney swept in a couple of weeks, and then we can have a lovely fire, and lots of cosy nights in. Bliss.

thrifty_fifty

Well if there's one thing that I've learned during the past few years, it's to be prepared for anything. I will be prepared for when the spending cuts are announced next week, that there is a high chance that in the not too distant future I will find my job is no more.

Now I may be slightly pessimistic here, but I'd rather be that than shocked and ill prepared.

So what am I doing? I've printed off role profiles for jobs I'd have aspired to in the future, and I'm compiling a book of what my outgoings are, what is the minimum wage I could survive on and so on, what my skills are, and skills I need to aquire, I've also enrolled myself on all the training that I could possibly get away with going on, so that I am employable as possible should the worse happen. Of course the pressure will be off more when these debts are paid back next august.

So for now the masters is off until further notice, because right now I need as much practical and vocational training as I can get, and funds-if atall- need to be directed towards that, starting with my Prince 2 qualification.

OH and I will review what we are going to grow on the allotment next year, so that as much of our food as possible comes from there and not the supermarket-saving costs.

Will try and use the open fire instead of the heating, as the wood was paid for two years ago, and this will save on heating costs. I also want us to have a fun but frugal christmas. Gifts will be cheap and cheerful, because I don't want to be regretting two days of fun, six months into the new year.

For now this is all we can do to weather the looming storm, but I figure better to do this and be prepared, than do nothing atall.

Of course these valuable lessons will be with us throughout life now, and we'll be adopting a 'why spend now, when you can live for tomorrow' approach.

I believe that if we stick to our core values of building a sustainable life together, then we can't go wrong, and when the rocky money patches hit, then we'll be able to batten down the hatches and survive it. Fingers crossed.

thrifty_fifty

Of course saying all the above doesn't mean that it isn't playing on my mind, and has done for most of the evening. Just when you are starting to think about kicking back and sinking into a routine, something comes along to give you a kick up the rump. I guess it is all character building stuff, and I'm going to have to find new skills and push myself, and afterwards it will all seem like a storm in a teacup. However I won't be proud and I will say I'm scared, because I've come to realise that I have to dip my toe in, move outside my comfort zone and try jobs that I don't know I'll be any good at. I'm extremely shy and quietly spoken and management jobs are what I need to get into. Now I know I have the theoretical and planning skills, but it's down to temperament now. Eeek.

However this is poignant as I enter my thirties and a new stage of my life, this is it, no dress rehearsals. I have to do this and accept that I may have to wait longer to do the things I wanted to do, like get my masters, however no-one can stop me from borrowing free books from the library and learning, so I'll keep learning new stuff for sure.

So the next stage is to sit down with OH and decide what we are going to grow on the allotment. I do hope I have a good nights sleep tonight, however I'm sure it will be mostly broken sleep.

Moral seemed to have dropped off in our team this afternoon, I guess no-one is sure what the future holds. I tell you what though, a lottery win wouldn't go a miss though.

However my patience with other things seems to have paid off. OH was going to buy some wine tonight, just incase the case of wine didn't turn up. I told him not to waste his money and that we would have to wait until it turned up. Like magic it turned up just as we were serving dinner. And tonight I found my first two one pennies in a pub car park. I've been looking for coins on the floor for ages, and tonight they turned up.

I don't know if I believe in god, but something certainly is at work when you start being sensible. You do one good thing, and everything else seems to fall into order.
xx

thrifty_fifty

The worrying is exhausting, my whole day has been filled with what if? when will it happen, how will I pay my debts if it happens before I've paid them off, what if we can never afford a house, to the exhaustion of is this what employment is going to be like for the forseeable future? Finding a new job every two years? I'm so anxious I've had stomach cramps and chest pains all day, and I haven't been able to focus on work atall.

I know this sounds sad, but at the moment I'm just wishing my life away. I can't wait to retire and get out of the rat race and bills and new jobs and keeping those jobs. I've just had enough. The sooner OH and I can get ourselves as good as self sufficient as possible the better. I really just want to opt out of all this carp.

I thought when I was choosing my career and trying to get into top companies and now university work that I would have some security and it seems like that is going to come crashing down. I know I'm probably just moaning but tonight the future just seems bleak, I can't look forward to anything, and I'm really just hacked off. I can't sit down and even watch TV because I feel like I'm wasting precious minutes that I could be job searching and identifying what skills I need to get.

thrifty_fifty

OK so I'm having a good cry now, and getting rid of some of the stress. I need to look at things logically.

1. I've always worked hard, and at the last interview they said I have a strong cv.
2. I should never give up hope of the masters, and even if I have to delay it for 5 years I can study things in the evening instead of wasting time worrying.
3.I will be debt free by next august if the job holds out till then, then a whole heap of pressure will be taken off.
4. I'm being sensible and making provision now, I've cancelled my OU courses, I've bought a new pair of work trousers for £5 off ebay which should last me the next three years if I'm lucky.
5. I have an up to date CV and I've always taken advantage of any training that is going.
6. We have seeds for the allotment, so at least we won't starve
7. I'm not still spending on the credit cards, and have so far stayed out of my overdraft this month.
8. I think ahead, A change to terms and conditions letter from Barclaycard comes through saying that if they are going to increase interest rates then they will give 30 days notice of this-I sense therefore that there will an interest rate rise in the foreseeable and .

thrifty_fifty

Well things always fall into perspective in the morning don't they? If I look back at some of the other situations I was uncomfortable in, I managed to survive those, so I'll manage to survive this one. I'm a survivor!