New year, New me (finally)

Nottoobadyet

About Kim Cattrall - my colleague saw her in the west end show shes doing and came back raving about how increadibly hot she was. So its not just the camera! Good on her, I hope I look half as good at her age.

Shoe_Gal

I re-wateched SATC season 5 on Saturday night - getting all excited for the new movie - can't wait

thrifty_fifty

Oh heck. Just when I thought I was having a productive day.

I tried on the things that I thought wouldn't fit, and would look 'not me' and they do kinda fit and do really suit me. So I can't have that clear out after all.

I know that I should wear my things until they have hardly any life left in them, but I get bored and clearly have a short attention span. Most of the things I have worn once or twice at most, but I've had them for three or four years, and you know when things just start to look too familiar?

Poo, poo, poo.

Now I have to go on looking the same until I have got my wear out of these things. Well at least I know my style now. Tried the red nailvarnish, and it doesn't suit my pale skin one bit, I look like the bride of Dracula. Back to my English rose pinks, and pastels then. Safe territory.

thrifty_fifty

OK.

Red nailvarnish removed. Was just having a bored, bored, bored moment. It's all work and no play, but then gave myself a pep talk.

These loan payments that I have been making for nearly four years now at £200.70, just think, saving up that money for just ten months to fund a holiday, is going to seem easy after this. Bored with my wardrobe, clearly I need a new focus. Get OH to clear out the back bedroom of all his stuff, and get on the piano. I used to be able to find things to fill my time, and so I will again.

There are so many places i want to visit, Grand Canyon, Iceland, Easter Island. Now on my way to getting debt free, I have proved that I can scrimp, and save the money. I won't need loans or credit cards again, because on this journey I'm getting a crash course in how to save. So on a more positive note, I'm learning new life skills.

:0)

thrifty_fifty

Well this journey really is a mental rollercoaster.
The closer I seem to be getting toward my debt free goal (I don't think I'll believe it's really true until I start to reach single figures-June with any luck), the more my head seems to be a mess. Keep clothes, don't keep clothes, round and round I go, examining every penny I spend.

I have two days to take the dress back before the two week return period runs out. Lets examine the facts, it is a versatile dress that could be worn to the beach, matched with a cardi for work, and glammed up for a night out. It cost £29.99, which is pretty good in dress terms (just let me check the likes of wallis etc to be sure-ok £16 to £80, but if my cardi from there is anything to go by, it will look ready for the rubbish dump after one year of ownership and half a dozen washes, if that)

I love the dress, I would wear it endlessly. The guilt though, the guilt of not having that money back in my bank, and not being quite so overdrawn. This is both good and bad, good that I have the guilt, bad for getting to sleep later.

Ok. Rational hat on. £29.99 could be eaten up very easily, like those tickets for SATC 2 that's nearly the same price, £30 interest on one cc. Another 3 months down the line, I probably won't have noticed the £30 difference.

I have to find £670 by early December for my OU course afterall.

I do often find myself in a daydream, where a letter turns up in the post and announces that I have inherited £80,000 from family I didn't even know I had. I pay all my debts off, and slap a deposit on a house, sometimes it's £800,000 and not only do I clear off my debts, but buy a £400,000 dream house, and keep some money in the bank for just incase.

Last night I was even MSE in my dream. My friend at work was selling some perfume that had been given to her for a gift, but it wasn't really her kind of scent. It was Dior's Poison. It wasn't a regular 100ml, but a 10,000 ml bottle the size of a good painting.

'How did you get that size' I asked. 'I thought they only had that size in the shops as a display model'

Anyway I went into town that lunchtime to see if they had allure in the same size bottle. They did . 'that will be £2,500 madam' came the assistants enthusiastic reply, as she hurried from out back with the bottle, now you can pay in full today, or put down a deposit and pay monthly. I gave my apologies and went back to the office.

I took my friend up on her offer as she was selling the Poison for £25. This money saving really is starting to take over my life.

Oh bother, damn, and bother. Can one of my dreams please come true, and I win the lottery or something and just clear this lot. I want my old frugal life back

thrifty_fifty

Guilt, regret, guilt regret. I've even put the dress at viewing distance from the end of my bed, so I can try and decide and mull it over. I must sound like a right muppet tonight.

I know I'll slap it on the counter, get my refund, leave the shop and say d'oh!, but then when the return period has gone, I'll be saying d'oh, for not having returned it.

Ok, same old reasoning. I could sell all of my wardrobe, get a third of it's value back, pay these debts of slightly quicker, but be left with nothing, nadda, not a bean. Instead a small selection of tired looking clothes that I wear to work, at the weekend, and for every other occasion in between

So the only other solution is to sell some stuff on ebay to recoup the money. I don't want to rush into it, because I sold all my Jimmys before, and pretty much got my money back, but I would never buy these shoes again now, unless I managed to get them in the sale, like my last pair £64. Whilst these are beautiful, they are the basic ones and didn't have all the crystals like my old ones-these now cost upwards of £600.00

I JUST WANT THIS DEBT TO BE GONE NOW!!!!!!

My life right now. Work, need to escape office at lunchtime to try and relocate sanity, tr not to spend anything, any small amount spent, guilt sets in. Guilt, guilt, guilt. How can I earn more, spend less, when will my money be my own again-answer about five years time, after paid off debt, saved house deposit, finished studying. You're only young once? You spend most of your 20's and 30's struggling for money.

I'm keeping away from mortgage free wannabe aswell. Too depressing. A girl of 27 talking about paying her mortgage off by the time she is 33 and she's nearly there. I'll be lucky if I'm scraping myself back onto the property ladder by that age.

Why was I not sensible? Why did I not start squirreling my money away the moment I started work? Oh shut up Thrifty. Start being positive and haul your !!! to Debt free heaven. You are going to have to spend on some things (I regret I still have my eyebrows threaded, I can't tame the beasts myself, I have tried, and failed miserably).

I even calculate how long I can make my shampoo and face wash last (hopefully the rest of the year), so I don't spend precious pennys on more. Too far I know, but this is how it gets you.

Shoe_Gal

My opinion!

Keep the dress, pay of the debts a little more slowly - and promise yourself you will always look F**kin Fabulous whilst you are doing it

thrifty_fifty

Thanks Shoegal,

Think I was having a white wine moment last night. Had the most horrible nights sleep last night. Too hot, too cold, fidgety arms. First dream was that I was applying for a PA role in germany, one of my academics from now had translated the interview questions into English. Just plain weird and horrible-possibly Germany I think because my old HOD was German (the place that was hell on earth).

Other dream, visiting lots of my friends in hospital. Then I came across some evil baddie who had planted something in the citys electricity supply, that would give anyone who was slightly at risk of a heart attack. That was apparently why all my friends were in hospital. Read into that one if you will.

Iam going to keep the dress. I didn't spend too much, the most important thing is I paid cash for it, and I think Debt Free Wannabe is the idea, not make myself miserable whilst doing it. What is done is done, and punishing myself for having done it is not the way to go.

Early night tonight methinks. Hope work isn't too much of a hassle today.

thrifty_fifty

Just to remind myself that although I'm overdrawn, I'm paying off my debts slowly and surely. Just copied this off my BC card account page.

You have not made any transactions since your last statement.

Now that is an achievement in itself. In December I was still in the -pay huge lump off credit cards, put it all back on there-spending habit. Now I don't spend on credit cards, even though each month I'm often well into my overdraft, but that is the last of demons to tackle, once this lot is all clear. I'll reduce it from £300 to £100, for just in case, but I know I won't need it. I know it's still naughty to be overdrawn all the time, but bigger fish to fry at the mo.

Lets start getting positive again, but bleugh work. I don't understand those people who say winning the lottery wouldn't change their life, they'd still work. Sod that! I can think of far better things to do with my time.

thrifty_fifty

A mixed bag today.

Got some more library books to keep me occupied. Work, possibly embarrasing, possibly not. Apparently the phone call was not personal, but when it comes from a building and bathroom contractor based in the city, and there are no jobs logged with estates for it, what am I supposed to think? Received email from manager saying that embarassingly persoal call was not the case. Firstly why did higher manager go in there guns blazing without hearing the storey from the horses mouth, secondly why did they not tell me when he was going to do it, thirdly knowledge transfer partnership my !!!!, and fourthly, why tell me that I was wrong to cause maximum grief?

They might as well have said 'oh you know that thing that you told us?, well it wasn't true after we asked them directly, and now what a fool you look'

All evidence to the contrary, that person in question has stabbed me in the back repeatedly, doesn't communicate with me, and puts barriers up to anything I try and change to the better. Forgive me if my opinion is a little tainted.

Anyway, the diet has kind of begun, the cupboards are bare apart from healthy food. I want chocolate, wine and all manner of naughty foodyness. Mmmmmm. So I'm grumpy too because I can't have naughty food. Grump!

On a more positive note, three more days left of this week, which then leaves only two more weeks until payday, and chipping away at those totals again. I'm sure I'll bed down eventually with this change of habit-eating and spending. We don't like anything different straight away do we? After a while though, it becomes the norm and we just accept it.

Hope you all had a good tuesday.

xx