Reach for the stars...

niccatw

One side of the room looks fabulous!

Only I opened the wardrobe and pulled out all the stuff hiding in there on the other! :eek: Why? Why did I do that! :eek: Tiny little pile for ebay... Or maybe I'll just take it all to the charity shop and be gone with it. Most of it has been hiding in various boxes all over the place waiting for me to ebay.

Also put some books on Green Metropolis... though I've only sold one on there so far and they too have been languishing there for many moons.

Possibly time to take those to the charity shop too and get rid of that clutter. I only have a 2-bed flat and I have a lodger in the room that I'd probably put all these things in...

Got fed up of swing music. Put Olly Murs on.... actually scratch that, will skip to Thinking of You and then find someone else...

MrsMoo2U

Nic, sounds like you have had quite a week of it.

Maty says so many things that I would have written so I will just echo here. Couple of things jump out here though.
How is an assertive course nothing to do with your job. Seems to me that you have to be assertive to deal with multiple managers so that is part of your job. Aside from the fact that your are training people I believe to do the job and so you need to be assertive in those instances. I would really push for it with HR. If you need help to write a business case for it PM me and I will see what I can put together for you. I have done assertiveness courses and I have to say that they really helped.
In the meantime try having a look at some of the One Minute Manager books. One Minute Manager meets the Monkey is a good one and might be right up your street at the moment with regards to saying no to people. Its all about how people try to give you their "monkey" to deal with and how to avoid taking their issues and problems on board whilst still helping them. Really recommend that it helped me immensely.

Loving that the quotes are helping you too. That is why I like to write things down. I dont know if you have ever read Rabrindraneth Tagore poetry but there is one poem that I came across when I was quite down, it is called Dungeon and I printed it off and had it on my fridge. It spoke volumes to me at the time. Now I read his poetry often. Your notes about not seeing your friends, not doing your exercise etc etc made me think of the time that this poem screamed out at me that I needed to take heed. I was doing all of the things that you have described.

He whom I enclose with my name is weeping in this dungeon.
I am ever busy building this wall all around; and as this wall goes up into
the sky day by day I lose sight of my true being in its dark shadow.

I take pride in this great wall, and I plaster it with dust and sand
lest a least hole should be left in this name;
and for all the care I take I lose sight of my true being.

Hope you dont mind me posting it. You obviously are a very strong person and can now recognise signs in yourself when you need to take a step back, so that wall is easier to bring back down. Mouse bites is all it takes to get back on track.
By the way, did you mean that this weekend you will do the VSO stuff. If so its Sunday afternoon - how are you getting on?

niccatw

Thank you Cheri. I spied you post about the One Minute Manager and the Monkey over on yours and did think I should have a look at it. Difficulty with putting forward a case for needing training is that I work for the NHS so that kind of thing doesn't seem to work - at least not on the ground as far as I can see! If there's a free online course on the intranet then that'll be what they tell me to do. But you're right; it is definitiely a skill that a lot more people need at work!

I've never read any Rabrindraneth Tagore, but I'll definitely have a look. I'm sure the poem Dungeon will resonate with any-one who has felt blue or had depression. Thank you for posting it and of course I don't mind.

Next weekend was earmarked for VSO, but feeling better now I have gutted the bedroom. I've got rid of two massive cardboard boxes of clothes (admittedly only into poly bags, but that makes it easier to pick up a couple and take to the clothes bank whenever I'm passing) and the bedroom is now tidy. The last load of washing is in the machine, so I'm going to hang that up and then clear all the debris from the hall and take it to the dump.

I may forsake my NSD for a takeawy on the way back. And I might do VSO but I may also curl up with my current book "Long Lies the Shadow". Another birthday book, but this one was written by my friend;s work colleague. I started it last night and I was really enjoying it. I had to force myself to put it down. I have a tendency to stay up all night reading if I'm in to a book (most of the Harry Potter's! ). I think I'll just reada couple of sentences of this next chapter and then read it properly tomorrow... and somehow night turns into day!

A good book should leave you... slightly exhausted at the end. William Styron

(Ok, so I slightly edited that for effect . The next bit is "You live several lives while reading it.")

niccatw

Phew!

Took a third of the bags to the clothes bank via the dump for the other stuff.

Sorted all the washing and changed the bed sheets ready to wash tomorrow.

Made chick pea curry instead of submitting to takeaway (inspired by Cheri's recipe; though chick peas are probably where the similarly ended )

Did a quick once over on the rest of the flat and sorted lunch and clothes for work tomorrow!

My back feels as though I've been walking for miles so I suppose I can count it as training for the walking marathon!

Now about to curl up with a cup od decaf and hope I don't fall asleep reading my book because I've been looking forward to it all day!

Good night folks! And thanks for all your advice and positive thinking :A

MrsMoo2U

Wow Nic, what a productive day you have had. Glad the recipe inspired you to have a homemade curry, which in my opinion is usually far more tasty than takeaway and satisfying. Does that make it a NSD then as well as all that decluttering?

The book sounds good and I know what you mean about staying up reading all night. Recently though I have been found in bed by Mr C with my glasses on, book against my face and half sitting up. And that is usually just 10 minutes after I have told him I am heading up to read. He thinks it is hilarious, I think it is a total waste of saving my book up til bedtime. My current book is by the man who rode to Beijing from Bewdley. Started it on the train and it is great. Now in hotel room so going to read it for bedtime.

InaPickle

Hehe! Nice to see you making your way through the book pile, Nicca!

Sleep tight. Although if the book is good, it might take you a little longer to get to the Land of Nod.

Butti

Nic,

I did an assertiveness course as an evening class. Should be something starting your way in September I would have thought.

You are inspiring me to attack the bedroom. Somewhere there is a 'Dealing with difficult people' manual. When I find it (today, tomorrow, two weeks time!) I will either send it to you or scan it and send, with a bit of narrative.

B

niccatw

:rotfl: Cheri! I can imagine Mr C must find it amusing! But I’m with you; I’d find it such a waste of what I’ve been looking forward to all day! I have been trying to keep my reading to the living room – taking heed of all the literature that says keep the bedroom just for sleeping. In practice, what actually happens is I read in the living room, get cold, move to my bed and continue reading!

Pickle :j! How lovely to see you! It’s been good to get back to the book pile! I enjoyed the story of The Alchemist, though I felt it laboured the point somewhat. I felt myself thinking, “I’m not stupid. I get it.”! It might just have been the translation though. I also finished Long Lies the Shadow last night. I really enjoyed it; the descriptive prose was beautiful. I’d guessed the “shocking revelations” early on (there were plenty clues) but it didn’t take away from the novel.

Both of these books have made me think. (One's about dreams and one was written by the friend of a friend.) I used to love writing stories at high school and I always thought I’d publish a book and dedicate it to my English teacher (I had the same one for 5 out of my 6 years there. I wish I still had my school jotters to see what I wrote then and what I thought of it now... wonder if my folks have them in the loft...).

I realised both that it's a long time since I just sat down and started writing and also that I had nothing to lose by giving it a go. I know I’m worried I’ve misplaced my imagination somewhere along the way, but hey, maybe it'll turn up! My diary is called “reach for the stars”, so I should probably stretch up and reach for them. It might be more fulfilling a past-time than me shouting at my sewing machine and snapping needle after needle! :rotfl:

So I’ve had a wee look online at creative writing courses. I seem to have missed the cut off dates until September this year, but that’s perhaps not a bad thing as my post grad *should* be finished by then!

The prof. has given me a two week extension. Apparently he told my boss he admires my persistence as many students would have given up by now! I knew being a stubborn cow might come in useful one day! (Although, there’s something to be said for being brave enough to walk away! And if the NHS, the voluntary sector and the care sector weren’t in such a scary places right now, I may have been more willing to do so!) So let's see how module three goes!!!

Two thirds of the bags are now gone from the bedroom and the last lot are in the boot to gone tomorrow! Butti, it was something you said about feng shui and stuff on the floor dragging your energy down! So I hope you did tackle the bedroom. Sunday I sorted out the flat and Monday I sorted out my desk at work so my mind has felt a bit more organised! The counsellor called today and I have an appointment for tomorrow (how’s that for service!). I plan to ask her about cognitive behaviour type stuff re. my eating... but last time I found myself talking and I didn’t know what was about to come out of my mouth! So we’ll see what happens!

We didn’t get any of our tickets in the Olympic ballot so my friend will be returning £220 (yes, that’s how much I spent – though on the assumption we wouldn’t get all we’d applied for. Thought we might have got something though! ) to my account. I’m questioning whether to even bother with the re-release ballot when we get the chance as it’ll be a stupendously expensive few days! So I might just put that £220 to the RBS. It’s currently at £3,546.44 and I sent another £3.41 toward it today.

Sunday until today have been NSDs... I’m pretty sure that takes me up to 7 NSDs this month (and 7 in a row!) but I will need to double check on the thread! The Book People will be at work tomorrow though and I have ordered a Formula One book for my nephew’s crimbo, so that’ll end that run. I should probably have a think about what else I need and see if I can cram it in to tomorrow! Some more fresh veg perhaps! And a look in some outdoorsy shops when I am in town tomorrow; I need some decent, warm, waterproof clothing for walking marathon training. We had hailstones here yesterday! :eek:

I wonder what book I should read next. All Families are Psychotic and The Book Thief are shortlisted! I think The Book Thief might be for a time when I am feeling less volatile! And I can certainly relate to the title of the other, so perhaps I should give it a go! :rotfl:

PS Kept losing posts. I’m a slow learner, but I eventually realised, it might be quicker and less frustrating to copy and paste from word!

MrsMoo2U

Morning Nic, your reading list sounds really interesting. I seem to have lost my way a little with books and I tend to just read whatever is given to me. Perhaps this is where I am going wrong. I really must join the mobile library van next time he is in the village.
Re the NSD - I noticed that you are buying a chrimbo pressie. Do you have a pot for that? If so do you need to class it as a spend day as you have already budgeted for the present. I get too confused by no spend days so I tend to give up on counting them. Most of the spending that I do is on food anyways as there is no leeway at all at the moment for fun stuff.
I seem to recall you mentioning a website where you buy things for cleaning such as bicarb of soda - could I trouble you to share the link. I love using bicarb and vinegar but have no idea where to buy it in bulk.
Thanks

niccatw

Cheri, my first degree was English studies, so I have a hoard of books that I've not quite managed to read yet! After having to analyse so many, it took me a long to to pick up a book and just enjoy it. That came back the day I realised there are more books in this world than I'll ever manage in one lifetime, so if a book isn't jelling with me, I don't finish it. Some times it's just the wrong book at the wrong time, but sometimes it's just not ever going to be worth the struggle. So I always have a shortlist of what might be next. Generally I also have a handful of books on the go at one time (of lots of different genres) so I'll always find something of interest, or if I'm not up to concentrating, I can dip in and out of.

I went in to a rather well known bookshop today.... (counselling was in the city centre). I was only going to take a look at The One Minute Manager and the Monkey. Honest! Uhm, so now I own it, and another one minute manager book on self management, one on difficult people and a book on the ehtics of the fashion industry (which is another thing that fascinates me).

Then I went in to some outdoorsy shops. All the waterproof trousers were massive on me, even the weeist ones . But a few t-shirts, fleeces and wlaking poles later... the poles are a pressie for my friend; they were buy one get one free... but still. Complete impulse buy!

See what happens when I know I'm not going to have an NSD! No, I don't have a crimbo pot. I'm not good with pots. I tend to empty them whenever I need cash. And I was going to get one of those sealed pots. But I couldn't get past the irony of spending that much money on a pot to save money and that I'd then have to smash open when I needed the money! :rotfl: I tend to pick up pressies throughout the year when I see something suitable, then have a look at them all in September (most of my familiy birthdays are between September - December too. Harrumph!)

I class my NSDs as days I spend anything that hasn't already been budgeted for and I exclude pennies I send toward debt repayments. I also exclude direct debits and standing orders; anything that regularly comes out of my bank account(s) as I've already scrutinised the decisions to take those out. Or at least, I regularly check them and stop the unecessary ones! I think, with NSDs, it's about exploring your bad spending habits and deciding your own rules to help change those habits. I started the NSDs to stop me doing as I did today; nipping in to here and there and coming out with more than the "wee thing" I nipped in for! When I'm into the swing of them, I'm pretty good at planning ahead for the days I know I will be spending and organising what else I need. So, for example, if I'm getting my hair cut, I will also do my food shopping that day. It works when I'm organised. Less so on days like today, when I think I've already lost a NSD so it's ok to spend!

I love cleaning with vinegar and bicarb. I think my flatmate think I'm mad! I've also got citric acid and witchazel, but I'm not quite sure what to do with them... I also seem to have misplaced the lemon essential oil I bought. I get them from Summer Naturals.

It's a great wee site. I'm also hoping to sign up to a "lotions and potions" course at college summer school this year; the site also has lots of bits and pieces that would help with that.

Right, off to flick through my new books so I don't feel so guilty for spending!