On The Subject Of 16 Year Olds! Does yours have a curfew?

melorablack

Once I was 16 as long as my mum knew exactly where I was and how I was getting home I could stay out as long as I liked.

The catch was that my mum wouldn't give me a lift anywhere after 6 pm so I had to make sure I could get home myself, meaning getting the bus...so normally the latest I was ever out was about 12 midnight.

jackieglasgow

oops cross posted!

StrawberryYogurt

Errata wrote: »

I think if the 16 year old daughter is working four days a week she's entitled to be treated as an adult. Adults shouldn't be subjected to curfews. If they're still living at home there should be a discussion about being responsible, letting someone know where they are and what time they'll be coming home, and no banging the front door and waking the house when they do come in.

This is the way we are leaning. Thank you. She really has impressed us these last few months, on a Monday she has a 5am start! Never once has she been late, puts me to shame! lol

Mme.Hibou

I didn't really go out (unless it was to friends' houses) whilst I was 16 and at school.

When I was 16 and had started at 6th form, I was allowed to stay out as long as I liked, if I let my parents knew I was going home or staying somewhere else. I would say I was pretty responsible though.

stef240377

Would be short of a miracle too as im only 32

Thats what you get for trying to type away on here, watch harry hill and tell 12yo son where dvds are.

tandraig

StrawberryYogurt wrote: »

Thank you. OH and I are really struggling with this. She IS a mature 16 year old and 17 in 5 months and I do agree with her, she does work "bl00dy" hard..., its just a nagging feeling, maybe scared to let her go?

It was awful actually for the first few months - but, daughter was considerate and only once failed to let me know she was going to be late (before mobile phones - and she couldnt find a working public phone) was only a couple of hours - their taxi hadnt turned up) but my god - I had a bad few hours!
but you do get used it (even though you then learn to sleep with one year tuned to the front door opening instead of baby crying, sleepwalking, getting up early etc..............its only now that all the kids have left home i have learned to sleep without this 'one ear open thing' lol.

I have to say though - I TRUSTED my kids - and they didnt let me down or if they did it was circumstances - not that they didnt care.

PasturesNew

Until I was 19 I had to be in by 10:30 Sunday to Thursday - and in by 10:45 on Friday/Saturday.

StrawberryYogurt

tandraig wrote: »

It was awful actually for the first few months - but, daughter was considerate and only once failed to let me know she was going to be late (before mobile phones - and she couldnt find a working public phone) was only a couple of hours - their taxi hadnt turned up) but my god - I had a bad few hours!
but you do get used it (even though you then learn to sleep with one year tuned to the front door opening instead of baby crying, sleepwalking, getting up early etc..............its only now that all the kids have left home i have learned to sleep without this 'one ear open thing' lol.

I have to say though - I TRUSTED my kids - and they didnt let me down or if they did it was circumstances - not that they didnt care.

Thank you again. We do trust her and to date she has always come in on time...told us where she would be etc...We expect her to be adult about college and work, being responsible, dependable etc, we cant then decide to treat her like a child when it suits us I guess..:o

I think the time has come :eek: lol

looby75

my 16 yr old daughter doens't usually go out on school nights, she's too busy with all the homework she gets (doing A-levels) so it's not an issue, at weekends she doesn't have a curfew but I expect her to text to say she's on her way home and not to come home on her own. Her boyfriend or one of her mates who are lads (she's always had more lad mates than girl mates) always brings her home.

The way I see it is she's old enough to leave home now if she wanted so I haven't really got the right to tell her what time to come in as long as she's not doing anything illegal and keeping safe.

The only time I've really had to put my foot down was just before Christmas when dd wanted to go to a party and didn't have a lift arranged to come home. We had loads of snow and the taxi's had stopped at 10pm the night before because of the weather, but she still was intending to go to the party and just hope that she and her friends could get a taxi back.

She was so upset when I refused to let her go unless she had a guaranteed lift home. It all worked out ok in the end as she managed to arrange a lift but I would have stopped her from going for her own safety if I had had to.

What I'm trying to say is I treat her like an adult while she's behaving like one, but if she does make a childish unsafe decision then I'll step in.

StrawberryYogurt

Thanks Looby75, that made a lot of sense. We too have always been that way about knowing how she will get home. I like how you say: "What I'm trying to say is I treat her like an adult while she's behaving like one, but if she does make a childish unsafe decision then I'll step in." Seems a fantastic attitude!