please can someone help

Oldernotwiser

mummyleads wrote: »

hiya she is in her finel year at uni and works full time paid i dont know she affords all the things she does

If she has a brand new car etc she is probably either working as a prostitute or dealing drugs; this level of spending doesn't come from working in McDonalds, even full time!

pigpen

Not paying any bills would mean she has the money for a lot of decent stuff.

At 20, if she can afford to run a car.. decent or otherwise she can afford to pay rent.. I'd give her notice and sell the house it is then up to her to find somewhere for herself.. my 18 year old son and his girlfriend who is 17 have managed it.. they have had help and support but have done all the leg work themselves as well as saving £800 deposit!!

I'd give her every support in finding her own home but I wouldn't be allowing her to freeload any longer.. I think she has an absolute cheek to expect it TBH

cheepskate_2

Why when your boyfriend as he was then moved in with you was there no arrangement long term for his children. Why not sell both houses and look for a bigger one or agree daughter can move into her fathers new family home.
It must seem very much like she has been thrown away and means nothing because he got a new wife.
Just because a child reaches an age doesnt mean they give up all rights to the "family" circs.
I could never imagine making my child homeless, if she cant manage the running cost of your DH house then she would naturally move back in with her father, unless that is of course you dont want her to or you have not built a good relationship with her .

Pollycat

The OP has 3 boys from her previous marriage so maybe they are living with her in her house with her new husband so there may not be room for her OH's eldest daughter.
No mention of the younger daughter - wonder where she lives?

So

she is in her finel year at uni and works full time paid i dont know she affords all the things she does

I don't know if it's possible to be in the final year at University and still have time for a full time job.

I still can't see (even if she is not paying any bills apart from the electric) how she can (at age 19) afford to buy and run a new car and buy designer clothes - unless she is either doing something dodgy or being funded by the other parent or another family member.

I wonder who the OH's house belonged to.
Was it the house that he lived in with his ex-wife and brought the kids up in?
If so, maybe that's why the daughter feels the way she does.

chesky369

......I still can't see (even if she is not paying any bills apart from the electric) how she can (at age 19) afford to buy and run a new car and buy designer clothes - unless she is either doing something dodgy or being funded by the other parent or another family member..............

She's over 18, so she could be knee-deep in store cards and credit cards and it could be just a matter of time before they catch up with her and she's in deep trouble.

chesky369

... and the car could be on HP finance - the companies involved in this are still totally irresponsible.

Pollycat

chesky369 wrote: »

......I still can't see (even if she is not paying any bills apart from the electric) how she can (at age 19) afford to buy and run a new car and buy designer clothes - unless she is either doing something dodgy or being funded by the other parent or another family member..............

She's over 18, so she could be knee-deep in store cards and credit cards and it could be just a matter of time before they catch up with her and she's in deep trouble.

chesky369 wrote: »

... and the car could be on HP finance - the companies involved in this are still totally irresponsible.

I take your points - so we can expect to see her on the Debt-Free Wannabee or Bankrupcy boards sometime in the future....
Even more reason for the OP not to want her living at her house and damage her/their credit rating......

mummyleads

:eek:is is 20 and works 38 hours and attends uni car is on hp and has store /creadit cards

things have since got worse as now my own private income has finished so spoke to dh about her having to pay he said ill get a night job

WHAT he will get a night job so she can live the high life while i sit at home with my boys struggeling not seeing him i think not what am i soppose to do or is it allways gona be like this

tandraig

from her post on facebook hun - all I could see was someone worried about her home, no disrespect to you at all.
er - was your Oh divorced by any chance? had custody and the marital home? this could come with conditions you know - that parent provide a home until education is finished.
I find it shameful that some people on here are assuming that the daughter is up to no good - she may well be working a full-time job and a uni course - other people have done it.
of course she could be a part-time prostitute - other people have done that too to finance university - but not if dad is providing free room and board!
but you have said yourself she works 38 hours a week! and keeps up with uni work - IS THAT living the high life????
actually OP, you dont really seem to be bothered about your partners kids, just yourself. you have a relationship with a man who has two daughters, who presumably he loves. he may or may not, have a legal obligation to provide for them until they finish university.
I would find out if thats the case if I were you.

floss2

Pollycat wrote: »

...I don't know if it's possible to be in the final year at University and still have time for a full time job.....I still can't see (even if she is not paying any bills apart from the electric) how she can (at age 19) afford to buy and run a new car and buy designer clothes - unless she is either doing something dodgy or being funded by the other parent or another family member....

I have to admit to being a little confused....

The OP's stepdaughter is "19", in "final year at uni", "fulltime work".... my DS2 is almost 22 and in his final year at uni (he started at 19) & does not have time to work, if he wants to keep up with his studies.

The "having lots of money to buy new car / designer clothes" thing is probably explained by:
fulltime work = salary
student = no council tax, student loan / overdraft / credit cards
living in dad's house = not paying the bills that we ordinary folk have to pay.

Perhaps the OP could clarify things a little more for us?