MSE Parents Club Part 10

Mazcabs

Had to share this, received from MIL

The husband had just finished reading a new book entitled, 'YOU CAN BE THE MAN OF YOUR HOUSE'.

He stormed to his wife in the kitchen and announced, 'From now on, you need to know that I am the man of this house and my word is Law. You will prepare me a gourmet meal tonight, and when I'm finished eating my meal, you will serve me a sumptuous dessert. After dinner, you are going to go upstairs with me and we will have the kind of sex that I want.

'Afterwards, you are going to draw me a bath so I can relax. You will wash my back and towel me dry and bring me my robe...Then, you will massage my feet and hands. Then tomorrow, guess who's going to dress me and do my hair?

Without even looking up from her morning paper the wife replied, 'The f**kin' funeral director would be my first guess.'
:rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:

BeenieCat

Well i've just checked the trains and the next one from Sheffield won't get here until 2:16 so he's a MORON!!!! because even if i'm back from jabs by then (doubtful) then i'm gonna have to go straight back out and pick DS and his mate up from school.

I thought he'd want to do the whole first meeting thing before DS comes home from school.

Or maybe i'm just stressing for no reason cos it's unimportant really isn't it?

Anyway i'm nipping out now to my friends house, i'm taking some bacon and gonna make her do me a sarnie :rotfl:. :whistle:

SugarSpun

My_Fathers_Daughter wrote: »

Think I might opt for a bowl of Special K - I am aiming to buy a red swimsuit for my jollies and want to look like the girl in the ad


I have to sleep on the side of the bed closest to the door - I'm wierd like that!

My mum used to say the girl on the ad was her before she had me and I made her fat

Sami_Bee wrote: »

Elle the last one should be called cardboard box

Great minds think alike :rotfl:

What a muppet Beenie.

Speaking of muppets, I am so :mad: that my head might explode. While I was at the office the police came to our home. Following up on a report from our upstairs neighbour that we're abusing our baby. Apparently all the crying can't be normal, therefore we must be hitting our six month old child. Obviously the police went away satisfied that it's teething and not abuse causing the crying, but I am furious.

I'm spending this afternoon looking up the harassment laws, because this kind of business is beyond unacceptable. He's p!ssed at us for reporting him for noise and so he's retaliating in the most vicious and disgusting way.

workinmummy

'Jeez SS. Your neighbour is obviously a hell of a lot more than a tit.:mad:
Don't know how you stop yourself from going and abusing him. Verbally and physically!

Becles

SugarSpun wrote: »

Poor Charlotte, Becles. She's about old enough that she's dreaming now, isn't she? It might be a bit unsettling till she realises that the things that are happening aren't real.

I think it is just dreams, but I'm not sure as she never says anything.

got-it-spend-it wrote: »

Had my first session at the gym today and my BMI is obese . Bit disappointing as I'm only a size 14, but onwards and upwards! I know BMI isn't a very reliable measurement, but I was a bit shocked.

Mine is 29.7. I'm officially overweight, but over 30 is obese, so I'm anxious not to get there! There's no way I'd get into a size 14 though and usually have to buy a 16. My boobs and bum are too big for size 14

Need to lose some weight for holidays in May, but I can never be bothered with feeling so crap all the time. I wish you could lose weight by sitting on the sofa eating crisps and biscuits

That's awful SugarSpun. Hope you get something sorted out. My Mam had a nosey neighbour when I was a baby. In those days you were supposed to put babies on their tummy to sleep, but I wouldn't settle at all, so my Mam used to put me on my back. The neighbour wasn't happy about that and reported my Mam for abusing me!

sparkle03

Tip Toes in .......

Hope your all well, I havnt read back as I havnt a chance of catching up from since Saturday morning It took me til Monday to recover from the Hen party :) and then with it being the last day of half term I spent it doing lots of baking and stuff with my babies. Then yesterday I was out with MIL for coffee and shopping.

Krystal, I had the strangest dream that we met and you told me you were pg??? Need to get something off your chest?

SS What an A$$! :mad: I dont know how you havnt throttled him or in true SS style set him on fire!

Beenie fingers crossed all goes well this afternoon. x

Tara p~o~s~i~t~i~v~e vibes for Poppie and thinking of all of you especially your DD, must be so hard for her right now. x

Dont really remember much else sorry. I think I might have killed my remaining brain cells over the weekend

Elle, I almost forgot to mention how cute Rhys looks in those pictures, he looks so big now too

jillie1974

afternoon all.

SS- thats awful. hope you manage to get things sorted somehow

am peed off. walked to the chldrens centre this morning (good 25 mins wallk each way). got K weighed (14lb 8oz) and waited for bumps2babies group. noticed no-one els tuenimg up so i went to the office 'oh' she says 'its swimming today, were you not told?' no i blinkng wasnt!!!! and then she said 'she was ringing everyone yesterday to remind them' great no blooming phone call either!! so walked an hour for something i could have got doen tomorrow, 5 mins walk. i wouldnt mind but i pass by the pool to get to the childrens centre. and because they were organising it, it would have been free for me too!!!

so mad and upset too that we were forgotten about. brought back memories of being in school and meets being organised and then i would go and the time had been changed and they 'forgot to tell me' ......

jillie1974

sorry for the selfish rant, i know there are more serious probs rather than me feelign left out.

Beenie- hope things work out ok for you today

SugarSpun

Boogers, Jillie - but you have us to talk to instead

I'm going to call the landlords and tell them that although we can't prove it was him that called the police there's no one else it could be, and I'd like them to make a note of it since I'm concerned that his harassing behaviour is escalating and because I work in a psych unit I am well qualified to spot escalation when I see it and need it noted in case things get worse.

jillie1974

thanks ss!

just rang 2 more nurseries. and one is full already for may :eek:

so going to visit the other one tomorrow.

then i need to worry about where i'm going to get the deposit from. cos from the sounds of it i cant wait till beginning of april like i was hoping to.