MSE Parents Club Part 10

pigpen

I'm off to get the antilop when i have time/money/energy.. It appears I am having borrowing of my neice and grandson during the week so will use it for them then when sproggit arrives he can use it.. cheap as chips.. and hopefully stops them throwing them on the floor!

Becles

My_Fathers_Daughter wrote: »

Everything is seeming very big and impossible and insurmountable ATM. I wish I could curl up in a ball and cry for a while.

Sorry to be all down again. I know I have lots of good stuff going on, it just seems that all the bad stuff is overshadowing everything with a big black cloud.

*bgig hugs* Hope you feel better soon xx Just talking about stuff with the doctor might help, or have a rant on here.

3onitsway wrote: »

Becles, Mel and anyone else with older boys.
Is there anywhere you can get boys school trousers, that fasten with something other than those metal clip thingys?
J has 5 pair, from Asda, BHS and Tesco, all with the metal clip thingys, and 4 are now broken.
He needs elasticated waist, or proper buttons. Any ideas?

I normally buy uniform from M&S or Debenhams. I know it costs more than supermarkets, but it's much better made and stays smarter and lasts longer than cheaper uniform. It works out cheaper in the long run as I don't have to replace stuff as often. They still have the metal clip things on though.

Are you any good at sewing? You could take the clips off and buy buttons or recycle buttons off something else, and make your own button hole in the trousers.

Bit ranty here about bedtimes and money.

Craig likes to read before he goes to sleep, so he doesn't like me going up to bed early as he can't read. Ideally he'd like to stay up until 11.30pm-midnight and then lay and read for a while. If I do say I'm going to bed earlier, he grumbles and then lays and reads for ages and I struggle to get to sleep with the light on. Felt unwell again last night and said I was going to bed at 10.30pm, but he insisted he would be up in a minute. As usual, the minute turned into half an hour and then he kept the light on until after midnight, so I never got to sleep any earlier.

This lack of sleep is doing my head in and I'm sure it's contributing to why I'm not feeling very well. I'm up at 7am every day with the children so I'm only getting 6-7 hours sleep a night. He prefers to sleep about 4-5 hours at night, 3-4 hours in the afternoon and then he lays in on weekends and when he's on holiday from work.

Also struggling with money. I had an empty flexible loan which works like a credit card. You say you want £x and transfer it to your current account, and then either pay the minimum back each month, pay the lot back or pay something in between. Anyway he borrowed a considerable sum off that in my name and I let him and now he's not making the payments back on time. I get an email statement around the 14th each month saying what the direct debit will be on the 28th, so I always tell him as soon as the statement comes in. I specifically said that this month the 28th was a Sunday so I didn't know if they would take Friday or Monday, so I must have the money by Friday. He said he sent it to me on Friday morning, and the direct debit has come out this morning, but I've got no money in my bank from him to cover it. This happens a lot. I'm in a catch 22 as if I cancel the direct debit and payments get missed, it's my credit record that gets knackered and it's always been squeaky clean.

He's got debt problems and he's currently burying his head in the sand from it and "can't be arsed" to do anything about it. I'm sick of telling people on the phone and who come to the door that he isn't in and making excuses because he won't make arrangements to pay them back.

His income is about £270 a week wages and I have around £320 a week coming in in a mix of wages, tax credits and child maintenance from my ex. He gives me £110 a week, then pays for his car and mobile, Sky and broadband. I pay for everything else - mortgage, utilities, food, clothes, my car and mobile, plus all the big things like holidays, DIY, Christmas etc. Sometimes it's a real struggle to make ends meet and I never have enough cash left over to spend on myself. Meanwhile he smokes and drinks heavily and spends around £70 a week on booze and fags. It's just driving me mad and I feel really resentful that he has that much to spend on himself and I'm struggling to get buy paying for essentials.

I've been laying awake chewing over stuff and I just needed to get it out. Sorry for ranting

weezl74

hello all! :AA selfish question before I catch up, but hugs to all who'd like one

fergie starts with childminder this afternoon. she asked for a rough outline of his day:

so I've written her this. Does it seem ok, I'm not great at detail :)

Fergus’ average day

7.30 woken up if not already awake!

7.30-8 ish breakfast, weetabix and cows milk

9.30 ish bottle of cows milk then nap

He normally naps for about 45 mins, but we don’t wake him.

12.30 ish lunch and some milk

2.30/3 ish milk then a nap

He normally naps for about 45 mins, but we don’t wake him.

5 ish tea and a bit of milk

Naps: He usually has his dummy in and rabbit and a muslin to hold.

The nappies we’ve given you today are a bit rubbish sorry! We experimented with a different brand and haven’t had chance to get new ones, so he may be a little leaky. I’ve put extra clothes in his bag just in case

Food-wise he’ll eat anything. He sometimes needs a few mouthfuls of milk water if the food is a bit dry. He usually lets you know by pushing the food away and being a little bit whingy!

Getting frustrated whilst playing usually means a nap or milk are needed cos generally he’s pretty content

Feel very free to give me a ring if he doesn’t seem ok and there’s something I may have forgotten to spell out, I’ve never written one of these before.

Thanks loads,

Louise

Becles

That seems ok. I left my Mam a list like that when I went back to work.

Bit of good news! They have emailed me the school allocation just now and James got into the Catholic school :j He's currently bouncing around like an idiot

pigpen

ooh.. COW .. why have you got yours and I haven't got ours??... I am so jealous!!! So pleased you got the school you wanted though.. now fingers crossed we get the catholic school too!!!

weezl74

Becles wrote: »

I've been laying awake chewing over stuff and I just needed to get it out. Sorry for ranting

I'm glad you said. I hope it helps to tell us.

I'd like to say more but I don't think I'd word it very well because I feel protective and outraged and I think I'd say it a bit wrong.

HUGS

weezl74

My_Fathers_Daughter wrote: »

Have sat for 10 minutes (when I should have been working) wondering whether to post this or not because I am not after tons of sympathy and hugs I just feel if I don't say how I am feeling to somebody it will eat me up. Please ignore me.

Please say more to us. I think it will help!

If hugs and sympathy aren't what you want, we can try and offer something else

weezl74

given up on the catching up now I've realised it's nearly 2000 posts I've missed! Have spotted that massive congrats are due to pigpen though.

Can I say how utterly in awe of you I am. You are one hell of a lady to be able to achieve all that you do

SugarSpun

Good wishes for houses and schools for everyone

MFD, if you'll get reasonable sick pay then get yourself signed off for a bit, you must be running yourself ragged with a job and a sickly husband and a little one. I only had two of the three when OH was in hospital because I extended maternity leave and I was in bits, I can't imagine how you're doing it.

DKAM I thought about the "recognisable car" thing too, lovely.

Beenie, what a nightmare have you looked at Comet Clearance?

Good luck Harley, let us know how it goes :grouphug:

Glam, are you excited about your new car?

Tia, did anyone manage to peel you off the ceiling after your sugar rush?

Ladybird, I hope all your phonecalls are lovely all day.

Happy St Davids Day Hammy. I love our faux Tripp Trapp high chair. Apparently Ikea have a "Trappy" that's also a ripoff design or you can get them on ebay. It's very sturdy and comfortable but much less MSE than the Antilop.

Becles I know it's easy to sit here and criticise your OH, and he must do lots of good stuff that we don't know about, but he does seem to be very inconsiderate of your needs and feelings. Could you perhaps sneak into one of the kids' rooms with an air mattress a night or two or would that not work either? Or buy him a little clip-on book lamp so he doesn't disturb you?
(Also, since he's up later than you, he could be doing some householdy stuff)

The debt business is really worrying me, because he's dragging you down with him. I don't know what to tell you but :grouphug:
And :j for James and his school!!

That looks like a good list Weezl, I hope Fergie enjoys himself and you're ok too

My early-bed plan totally backfired cause my body knew it was too early to go to sleep and then when it was time to sleep I was past being tired so was up till 2am reading.

Big hugs to all, I'm going to go start to tackle my list. OH has to go to his office today, he's been doing a lot of home office stuff, so it's just me and Molly and we'll see how much we get done.

hammyhunter

Big hugs Becles, I agree with SS. Someone needs to put you first and as it looks like your DH won't then you must. You deserve better Congrats on your son getting the Catholic school!