Probs with my other half :(

Skint_Catt

Toothfairy4 wrote: »

I don't mean to upset you, but are you definately sure he is at this friends house when he says he is? There is no possibility it could be another woman? I could be jumping to the totally wrong conclusions but i doubt many men feel a burning need to go out and see a friend at 3 in the morning, what could be so urgent??:huh:

I'm afraid the same thing crossed my mind too.

Hugs OP - try and take some time out and really consider your options. I agree losing £1000 is nothing compared to what a divorce would cost. Do the right thing for YOU and don't let him sweet talk you if it's not what you want or know that thinsg won't really change.

Toothfairy4

Skint_Catt wrote: »

I'm afraid the same thing crossed my mind too.

Hugs OP - try and take some time out and really consider your options. I agree losing £1000 is nothing compared to what a divorce would cost. Do the right thing for YOU and don't let him sweet talk you if it's not what you want or know that thinsg won't really change.

Totally agree, you must do what you feel is right for you, not just do something because he talks you round or you feel it'd give you an easier life. I hope you figure it all out soon, but in the mean time (((hugs))) to you, i hope you are ok xx

Toothfairy4

wanttogetwed wrote: »

Yeah when I called his phone it was his friend that answered. Now he is being even more childish (proberly because I am giving him the silent treatment) he is saying he'll take me to court over our dog believe it or not! Dog is mine end of (he's my dads dogs puppy) anyway! I've explained that I am having major doubts and I have taken my engagement ring off It's hard to have a serious conversation while the kids are awake so I'll wait and see what he has to say when they have gone to bed.

He is behaving like a spoilt child, trying to pick fights with you because your (quite rightly) cross with him, don't let it get to you hun x

Kay_Peel

A decent man - even one behaving strangely - would leave a note before slipping out of the house. It sounds like your man intended to cause you maximum upset and worry. Either that, or he prefers the company of his drinking companion to anyone else and will run to him when he needs to.

Are you sure that he isn't gay?

fly_dragon_fly

wanttogetwed wrote: »

He's still not home says he knows I'll be mad with him. Having serious 2nd thoughts know my mum and his mum have said the same thing. My mum says that although we have over £1000 non refundable deposits paid do I really want to be getting divorced in the next year?
He phoned to moan at me coz I'd spoke to his mum so I take it him and his friend are sitting drinking. Meanwhile my oldest son (5) is upstairs sobbing because he knows I am upset.
Maybe we should just leave things the way they are???

i wasn't going to give this another thought but it was the bit about your 5 year old that choked me up a bit, why do men do this ey? its not fair for a 5 year old to cry over this. makes me fuming made!

hope you can sort it out soon x

knitjob

wanttogetwed wrote: »

he is saying he'll take me to court over our dog believe it or not! Dog is mine end of (he's my dads dogs puppy) anyway!

I am so sorry but my thoughts are the same as toothfairy4 as I have also been through similar happening when my x husband used to disappear for the whole weekend, turned out his sister gave him her flat so he could spend it with his x wife!!

What I can't believe is him saying he will take you to court over the dog!! Has he forgotten about the children?

I hope it all gets sorted for you. xx

SUESMITH_2

do not marry this man at the moment - he is unreliable and seems unkind to you. lose the deposits and get yourself sorted

any man you were going to marry should not be threatening you over the dog and should be more reliable over going to work, he's got kids for crying out loud

frannyann

wanttogetwed wrote: »

PS this made me smile

I am glad something did xx

Just to add, I got married 14 years ago and divorced 10 years ago. If I had listened to the nagging doubts in my head, it would not have cost a child growing up in a broken home and 28K in legal fees over 5 years of bitterness. Only you can decide what to do, but don't think that losing the deposit is that important that you go ahead with doubts. Most deposits can be 'held' as long as not cancelled but maybe posponded for a bit?
Take care
x

wanttogetwed

My dad treated my mum (and his new wife) like this, maybe the saying is true that you go for men like your dad! I don't know, all I can say is thank goodness I have a close knit family and his mum and dad are behind me!

maggie111

Very sad situation... Just remember people will get treated the way they let themselves get treated. If he's done this more than once you're letting him get away with it. Simply put - the punishment isn't as bad as the reward is good. (if that makes sense?)

If you truly felt you don't deserve to have him behave that way, he wouldn't have done it after the first time. Don't bother trying to analyse him - analyse yourself. Is this behaviour you want to put up with? No. So don't.

The telling thing was when you said "I'll see how he feels in the morning"... What the hell has his feelings in the morning got to do with it, it's yours that matter when he is misbehaving.

If you don't want to put up with it, tell him if he does it once more that you're out the door - and mean it. No empty threats any more hun.

Good luck