Probs with my other half :(

wanttogetwed

Sorry for the moan but need to get this off my chest!

It was my Father in Law (2B) 60th birthday yesterday, and we held a surprise party. It was a great night and we all enjoyed ourself. Basically I did most the work - buffet/decorations/shopping etc. My other half sat on his backside while I did all this running around!

So after the party we went home and went to bed. I woke up at 3am ( for a wee LOL) and my other half was away. Phoned him, text him - no answer. Eventually got a hold of him an hour ago he had went to his friends house and fell asleep. This has happened several times before and is upsetting me.

We have 2 kids and I don't think he bothers. Also he was supposed to work this morning and never went in! Spoke to his mum this morning and she thinks I am too good for him and says not to marry him

I love him but every now and again he acts so stupid he's not home yet but i feel like throttling him.

Sorry for the moan!

laura2481

Oh dear *hugs*
I must say I would find it unacceptable for my OH to disappear in the middle of the night.
Hope you can work through things... mostly by him pulling his socks up.

*more hugs*

youngie

are you sure you want to marry him sounds like he needs to grow up.has he said why he went to his friends he a least owes you a proper explanation and just who is this friend!!!!

frannyann

Point out that you don't fancy marrying another kid as you have two already! Shape up or ship out time, methinks!

hayleythedaisy

Sounds like you are going through a rough time, has it always been like this or has there been an event/course of events that have caused your H2B to behave oddly.
Have you managed to sit him down and explain how you are feeling and what his behaviour is doing to your relationship.
Or alternatively has his mum spoken to him? It seems she is seeing what is going on, he might listen to her?
I know this isn't what you want to hear but I would be asking myself if this is the basis for the marriage I had always wished for and whether I am prepared to put up with it. If the answer is yes then you've got to do just that, if it is no think about what you can do to resolve the situation...
And this doesn't just mean splitting.
Have you considered help from relate or a group similar?
Could yours/his health or lifestyle or work be putting you/him under pressure?
Do you both want to have the same wedding? Is that where the strange behaviour is coming from?
If it was me and I woke at 3am to an empty house and couldn't get hold of him, he would be out on his ear quite frankly, but everyone is different and everyone has different need and expectations of a relationship. I think what you need to ascertain is what your expectations are and whether the two of you live up to that?
Sorry I couldn't be of much more help, and probably haven't said anything you don't already know. I hope things get better for you soon.

Oldernotwiser

He got up in the middle of the night and disappeared and you want to marry him? I don't know which of you is the most cracked!

wanttogetwed

Sitting in tears now, he said he would be home about half an hour ago but still no sign of him. we've been together eight years and most times he is brilliant. Now and again (when he has too much to drink) he seems to forget about our two kids and me!

Been looking forward to our wedding so much. Have everything booked, beautiful dress, beautiful venue - just thinking now I'm not so sure.

When I was writing this he phoned and asked if i had money for a taxi - not sure he cares about me at all. What happened to romance? Wish he could think about my feelings sometime, thx for the replies

tanith

So he creeps out of bed at 3am and then gives you no explanation as to why he did that? I'm afraid I wouldn't accept that and would want a full and frank discussion about it .. then make up my mind if its worth continuing the relationship especially as his own Mother thinks he's a waste of space...

shellsuit

Why did he go out in the early hours? That doesn't sound right to me.

If I woke up and OH wasn't here and he hadn't gone anywhere in an emergency, I'd have his balls in a vice!

You poor thing, if I were you I'd sit him down and have a chat, to see whether he thinks its a good idea getting married as he obviously doesn't seem to be putting you and the children first at all.

If he says of course he wants to, then ask him why he is treating you like crap and basically living the single life.

If he says No, you would be heartbroken, but at least you would know the truth and wouldn't go through with the wedding if it's not what he wants.

I wish you luck and hope he comes to his senses, the pillock! xxx

Taadaa

(((hugs))) have a good think about things when you feel less upset. Maybe if he behaves like this when he has had a drink, he should lay off it? xx

wanttogetwed

He's still not home says he knows I'll be mad with him. Having serious 2nd thoughts know my mum and his mum have said the same thing. My mum says that although we have over £1000 non refundable deposits paid do I really want to be getting divorced in the next year?
He phoned to moan at me coz I'd spoke to his mum so I take it him and his friend are sitting drinking. Meanwhile my oldest son (5) is upstairs sobbing because he knows I am upset.
Maybe we should just leave things the way they are???