The giving up/cutting down alcohol thread part VI

jo1972

fayjmck wrote: »

We've had stars and ewoks - whatever next I wonder?

Stripey socks

shellywinebelly

Hi I'm new to all this so please forgive the lack of smilies etc...
not sure which camp I fit in to be honest which is I think kind of worrying.
Well, I am 38 but in my head i am more like 28, happily married with two lovely children, lots of friends etc... however I drink too much and if I am honest, I think I have gone past the point of cutting back and perhaps need to cut it out all together. ??

Don't get me wrong, I can go all week without a drink...but as soon as bottle of wine is open I just can't stop at one glass. Trouble is as kids get older, I am more conscious that eldest is more and more aware of my drinking so need to cut back for her sake if nothing else. I have never acknowledged a problem to any of my friends or family before but deep down I am worried that while I don't think I am a true alcoholic, I think I have a problem with alcohol.

I don't really know if i should be aiming to cut down my weekly units( I know I am a binge drinker) or should I just try and stop drinking full stop???

sorry to rabbit on, I have only plucked up courage to come on here (after several months of lurking) because... I have had several glasses of wine tonite after having friends round for a meal.

would love to be tea total by summer but sadly I just think this is a dream??

X shelly

So_Sad_Angel

shellywinebelly wrote: »

I have only plucked up courage to come on here (after several months of lurking) because... I have had several glasses of wine tonite after having friends round for a meal.

would love to be tea total by summer but sadly I just think this is a dream??

X shelly

Hi Shelly & welcome.....I know exactly what you mean about not stopping at `one glass` ....I have noticed too how wine seems particularly bad for this. I was getting to the drinking every night stage & it had started to worry me.

Personally I am an`all or nothing` ....I had to stop completely otherwise I slip backwards into old ways very quickly but everyone is different & this thread is good for getting how you feel down `on the page` so that it diffuses some of the frustration of why we drink in the first place.

LOL I`m rambling too !!

Good luck, be strong & keep posting Hun.

Angiexx

maman

Welcome shellywinebelly (we'll have to shorten that!!!) and well done for venturing in from lurkdom. This is a lovely supportive thread and I'm sure you'll feel at home here. A bit late at night to make definite plans and you say you've no problem with being AF all week. That's a great start. You might want a small target for January (to include some of next weekend?) and then go for it in February?

Join us through the week and see how you feel.

:hello: to everyone. Hugs to those that need them. Good to see you back posting regularly jo. Good to see you too eselt.

'night all.

So_Sad_Angel

Ooooh a shiny new thread....thats on page 3 already ! Hope everyone is doing fine & staying strong....Jo Hun...<<hugs>> I saw your posts & hope you are feeling bit better.

Been off moving house...very stressful...ended up back at doctors for sleeping pills...yeah right...so what time is it now?...& I`m still waiting for the sleepyness to start !!:o

Still I did manage to go through the whole thing without a drink....that is some achievement for me!

So HB its 23 big ones for me :j

shellywinebelly

Thanks Angie

I must be honest, I have already found this site such a help, Its so hard to be totally honest with even closest friends and family as they don't really understand. everyone on here seems so lovely and its sort of comforting to know that there are other people out there who feel the same way.
My husband and friends know I drink too much but its almost as if they just accept its part of me and they just accept it. Its nice in a way but not very helpful in helping me cut back.

So_Sad_Angel

The nice thing about this thread is that folks here understand because they have experienced what you have been & are going through. The main thing is `its one day at a time`.....even after 5 months of being AF I still lurk/post most days as I need that support.

I was `in denial` that my drinking was ok & not doing me damage....I know now it was & , since I decided to do something about it , I feel much more open about talking with my friends & relatives.

So_Sad_Angel

Also it helps to find a drink that can replace the wine...mine is lime & soda/sparkling water....LOL I am addicted to it...in fact I now prefer that to the wine!!

Tesco do a nice Italian Syrah Grape Blush drink (2 for 1.50 I think) ...nice substitute for red.

Hope that helps.

exup

Just noticed a few posts after chilling out from a party and Shellywinebellys caught my eye. maybe as we are similar ages with 2 kids etc,
I wish I could help with more advice but I am from a slightly different viewpoint as I have never had a drink problem. I cannot begin to understand what it must be like to be addicted to alcohol and I won't even try, doing so may insult the people on here who are or have been.
As you say though Shelly, you dont see yourself as an alcoholic but may have a slight problem with when that a bottle is open - then the drinking can start.
Could it be more of a problem with how you view why you need to drink in those particluar circumstances?
Going on from what I see around me >>
If I go out with friends or family (although close family know about my drinking habits anyway). Then as far as alcohol goes I can take it or leave it - I do not aim to be teetotal as I can enjoy a drink, but I do not need a drink to relax or socialise. But there is pressure there and sometimes I have used my job as an excuse to refuse a drink
"Sorry but Im a bike instructor and I just simply cant risk losing my licence"
even the morning after if there was a chance I could be over the limit then I would stop drinking alcohol before it got too late.
Sadly with a few people they would take offence. One friend even refused to buy me a drink during the round as he admitted he "felt embarresed to ask for a soft drink and would be beaten up at the bar" << I understood the last bit to be a joke - but nonetheless he would still not buy me the drink and I would have to buy it myself.
If I am the driver to a party- or night out (dont like taxis so would prefer to drive) Then I will not drink alcohol at all - although people will still offer me drinks "Just one and you'll be OK". again to the point that sometimes they will be offended when I still refuse.
Unbelievably to some - I have never been drunk - I have however been to the point in a night where I know I am getting to that point where I would be drunk if I carried on - but only on a few occasions, and usually only if I finished a drink faster than normal.
Tastewise I like cider, wine (not all) and stout, Im not a fan of beer/lager/ale etc as I simply cant stand the taste. although I can manage Budwieser, thats an exception. I know that some people say its an aquired taste but I was never interested in trying to aquire it in the first place.
When I went out on the town - whether with my mates or girlfriend it was to have a good laugh. my girlfriend used to drink until she was sick before she met me, but cut back abit when we had been seeing each other for a while - although I don't think I consciously put any pressure on her to do so.
Mainly I would be out to dance - I love it, and I would dance just about non stop until the club closed, maybe drinking orange juice or water as anything stronger than that would just make my head pound. So I never really got into the habit of drinking alcohol - I just didnt need it.

I dont know if this is any help Shelly, I was never stopped from drinking by my parents - who would let me have a sip of wine now and again - or maybe a little sherry at christmas / new year etc. but my Dad did advise me never to drink too fast. Something which I still do - Im usually one of the last to finish my drink in a round - alcoholic or not, (but even then I still feel under a little pressure to make sure I dont miss paying for a round so I dont seem stingy)
Do you feel under pressure from those around you that you should be drinking with them or you arent being sociable? Or do you feel yourself that you cant relax unless you have had a drink, like I said at the start of my post, it could simply be down to how you view why you need a drink, and how fast you drink it.
my girlfriend wont get up to dance unless she has had a drink (tonights party was the same). Whereas I will go for it anyway (she does think Im a good dancer though even if I say so myself) - or if its karaoke then the same again I will bound up and grab the mic when sober anyway.
If you aren't addicted then do you need to be completely teetotal?
Theres alot of pressure in the UK from the media to drink alcohol, and most of the time we get the message that you arent really having a good night unless you drink till you vomit and cant remember anything when you wake up with a screaming hangover << not my idea of a good night.
I hope that this can be of some help, and that it hasnt offended others

shaggydoo

Morning all :wave:

21 for me please HB

An AF Saturday night I have lost 3 Lbs on LouiseJ's 2010 weight challlenge in 18 days and not wanting the calories is keeping me AF. Also I have not spent any money on alcohol this month which is also fab too.:j I am determined to spend the saved dosh on a hair cut and colour in February. This is keeping me focused too.




Hugs to all

Shaggy