The giving up/cutting down alcohol thread part VI

MountainOfDebt_2

The more I view life, the more I realise I wasn't unique in not really have a good upbringing. My wife, when I met her at 21, used to say to me that she marvelled at how sad I was about my childhood and that it was a surprise to her that my childhood was like it was But now, after all these years, she realises that she was the lucky one in having a pretty trouble free, outside of normal teenage angst, childhood, and that everyone she knows has deep lying issues, based on their childhoods: sometimes it's very hard for us both to see how parents are with their kids nowadays. You just want to say something - Love them, hug them, tell them you love them all the time, make sure they know the doors always open to you, that you're never too busy, that you're never doign soemthing else. They are too important.

Regarding responsible kids: I remember aged 17 being given a beating for actually having condoms. To this day it strikes me curiously wrong and I have always wondered if he, my dad, was just jealous that I was now starting that part of my life which was long over for him. I try and draw postivies now, unlike the dark old days of self pity and anger, from how I was treated as a child and as I tell my siblings, it's sometimes good to have been so badly treated, to have felt so unloved, as it means our kids will never go through it, our kids benefit from it. I maintain there will always been dialogue between us and our kids: I don't want them to feel fear in any aspect of their bringing up and that part makes me strong. I am proud never to have touched my girls, I am proud that they are able to tell me if they think I am being unreasonable and explain to me why and I am just proud how they are growing up.

It's funny, but I relate a lot of my issues on life as to how I was as a kid and it's made me realise just how responsible I am for my kids future, not just financially, but emotionally and socially. I entered parenthood fairly late and, because of my past, my childhood, didn't really think I'd be a great candidate for being a parent. It's been the hardest, most enjoyable rewarding period of my life and I long for it to continue.

I am feeling very ill at the Mo. It's defintely man flu and now we now just how bad that is over normal (dare I say lady flu). I staggered down to the shop yesterday in search of treats and surprised myself by simply buying an apple, an orange and some sparkling water. In bed by 8.

3 more for me shaggy and well done for today. That's 3 if I haven't claimed this week, if I have, then I a nto sure: I didn't drink Thurs last week or Sat and Mon, Tues and Wed and I will not drink today. Period.

Diatribe over...

Pippilongstocking

MountainOfDebt wrote: »

I entered parenthood fairly late and, because of my past, my childhood, didn't really think I'd be a great candidate for being a parent. It's been the hardest, most enjoyable rewarding period of my life and I long for it to continue.

I loved your post there is so much to comment on - you sound really switched on.

This bit really hit a chord with me, perhaps a few of us have gone through that bit - thanks for posting it.

I hope the lady flu is abbaiting!

Marru I think the two of us could write a book - (!)

Cheers for the hugs chaps!! HB woo hoo only 14 hours til birthday time

honeybear_2

I am decluttering Bear Towers - so far I have decluttered all the board games into one box

Have also received some birthday flowers :j

Pippilongstocking

Decluttering board games......................:eek:

Can you have too many?

on the flowers - what are your 'movements' over your birthday weekend?

honeybear_2

S'ok, I'm not getting rid of any! They're just all now together

Hopefully away for the weekend with Mr HB :A

fedupandskint

Just popping on while on lunch at work to say...

...I told a friend of mine today I had stopped drinking instead of the usual, I'm not drinking or I'm going to stop

It felt ok, and the response was good. In return she asked me why, and I told her. She said she would like to stop at some point too. I said it used to feel weird to me to say this but not now and she told me it wasn't weird at all.

I'm pleased I said it outloud to a friend and it feels ok with me to do this, no regret no pangs of missing out.

Better dash off now and then after work it is a tortuous half hour of yoga, some flying and tea. Need to complete some flying lists and not leave it all until the weekend again!

Have a nice birthday HB, and hugs to the sickly crew at the Doc's house

Pippilongstocking

Sparkles well done and great stuff

Goodluck at yoga - think relaxing and bendy not torturous!!

Really impressed your doing all of this stuff.

gien

Good afternoon everyone,

still just a flying visit - the kids are on holiday next week and I would like ot get organised!.

Shaggy, I'm up to 19 AFDs now, so I should hit my target for this month. It's been fine as I've been so busy I haven'#t had the time or energy to drink.

Have a good remains of the day

honeybear_2

Sparkles, you're doing brilliantly - good for you!

Bear Towers has received a lovely delivery from Mr T's so I am now stocked up & have enough washing up liquid to get me through probably the next 2 years :rotfl:

Am going to tackle the second box for decluttering shortly...

Miss_Piggy_2

MOD - thats a fantastic post. I can identify with that so much, but a generation removed iykwim!

My Dads Dad (my grandad) was horrible to my Dad. Dad was born in 1949 so obviously my Grandad was very old school. He treated my Dad badly..when he could be bothered to notice him. Life for him was work, home, wash and pub. He never got drunk but it was a huge part of his life. My Nan found it increasingly difficult as my Dad grew older and started to rebel against the strict discipline in his life.

When my Dad got together with my Mum my Grandad was furious. She was a divorcee with two very young sons and he was appalled at his sons choice. He wouldn't utter a word to her. That was until I came along. And then he was a changed man. For my Dad though I think it was a case of too little too late and I don't think he ever forgave him.

BUT my Dad has been the best Dad a girl could wish for. I know I could go to him about anything, that he supports me fully in everything I do. Its like he was determined not to make the same mistakes. And I'm so grateful for that. The awful thing for me is that I remember my Grandad to be a loving, fun Man. Shame my Dad can't remember him the same way. My Dad is a fantastic man and its a shame my Grandad couldn't see that and be proud of him.

Sorry for the long post, its just what MOD posted really touched something in me. We all strive to be the best parents we can. And we all look to our own parents as an example. I don't want MY son looking back when he's older and wishing is Mum could have been a better example. The very thought of that makes me want to cry.

Miss P
xx