The giving up/cutting down alcohol thread part VI

Newme_2

Another AF day for me! 4 in a row. For the past 15 years I honestly don't think I've had more than 3 nights off. I've been out twice this week with friends and (lovely as they are) nobody queried why I was on water.

Feeling a bit worried about coping over the weekend as we will go out and the temptation to have a drink will be strong.

I used to get very drunk as a teen when I went out and don't do this anymore. What I find more worrying is that I will always have a bottle of wine open when at home. If there is alcohol in the house, I have to have a glass. If I go for one sociable drink after work, I feel compelled to go and buy more to take home with me.

I've been secretive about this aspect of my life for so long I couldn't imagine turning to any of my family or friends and telling them how I feel. So I feel quite alone at the moment. Not sad... just a bit bereft. I'm really hoping that I will feel the benefits soon as at the moment I'm in quite a strange place.

Thanks to anyone reading this. You guys offer a lot of support. Going to go for another early night as I feel exhausted!

honeybear_2

Newme wrote: »

I will always have a bottle of wine open when at home. If there is alcohol in the house, I have to have a glass. If I go for one sociable drink after work, I feel compelled to go and buy more to take home with me.

That so sounds like you're talking about me. I've found that I can manage not do it but it does take willpower & knowing that time without alcohol is just as enjoyable as time with.

But you are doing brilliantly already so :T

fedupandskint

Newme wrote: »

I used to get very drunk as a teen when I went out and don't do this anymore. What I find more worrying is that I will always have a bottle of wine open when at home. If there is alcohol in the house, I have to have a glass. If I go for one sociable drink after work, I feel compelled to go and buy more to take home with me

You sound like you are talking about me too!

You sound like you are doing very well - one day at a time my dear!

paybacktime2008

fedupandskint wrote: »

Just 'popping in' to say another AF night for me tonight and HB.....you've done a great job so don't be hard on yourself

Whoever scores wins!

On 16 AFD now - much better than I thought it would be this month

I read some of the Living Sober book last night and it re jigged my mind about stopping. Do what you like, avoid if you feel you need to, ignore if you feel the need to, eat and drink to make sure you have enough food and fluids and can help the cravings.

Decision made so far is to not go tomorrow and tell all tomorrow I don't fancy a big drinking night out.

Replacement plan is to have a curry from the freezer, squash and watch a dvd instead then get up early on Sat and have a nice day out somewhere instead of feeling groggy.

Why are cutter downers or stoppers seen as lame and boring by some younger ones? That time is behind me now. I don't think they mean it really it is just they are still full of the flush of youthful exhuberance and don't mind wasting the weekend recovering and there is no way I am returning to that!

I find it difficult to let go of the past when I was the last one standing on a night out in the early morning haze, and forget sometimes, I am not that person anymore and I am happy with who I am now

Budgie - I think it was me with the same dilemma last year sometime I think anyway as I think this almost everytime regarding this!

I have my own take on this. I don't know the ages of most on thios thread but I think it may be relevant. I think that when you are young and alcohol is seen as part of your social scene it is easier to deny any 'problem' The younger ones you mention may just be 5 or 10 years away from realising that they may indeed have an unhealthy relationship with alcohol. In my 20's i was a total !!!!head but as most of this drinking took place in pubs and clubs where most of the other people you are mixing with are also on a bender you can justify your own drinking more...along the lines of 'everyone else is doing it so why shouldn't i' It's only, for me, that my lifestyle changed due to being a mum that my drinking became more in the spotlight. Drinking alone at home as opposed to being out. I think while you are young and don't have any responsibility it is easier to write of your drinking as 'having a good time' It would be interesting to see if any other people on here were party animals before they had their kids or have found that their drinking habits started later in life. I'm aware that all sounds a bit garbled...hope it kind of makes sense.

paybacktime2008

Also....especially for FUAS...I was researching cannabis addiction earlier for work. It said that there is a grief reaction which is when you give up, in this case cannabis, but I'm sure works for alcohol too, there is a feeling of losing a friend.

It's not just the drug you miss but also all the associated places, people etc that go with it. I think it truely is about changing your life.

I miss the sound of glug glug glug as you pour the first glass of wine and will often drink squash from a wine glass cos I miss the feel of the stem in my hand! Ok I'm going to stop now before the men in white coats run away with me.

Everyone seems really good and positive today. Excellent news!

PRICE_IS_RIGHT_2

PaybackTime - I know exactly what you mean about the wine glass - I do the same with my soft drinks and actually find it does help. As for drinking in my twenties - absolutely! I had a great time throughout my twenties, then became a mother at 32 and then as I have got older (and older) the hangovers have got worse and worse. I'm 51 now, and if I have more than one bottle of wine, the resulting hangover and guilt is just unbearable. So I really try to remember this when I do drink, which is only on Saturday nights now, occasionally one other night too.

Night night all xx

fedupandskint

Same here - hammered in late teens and twenties then soon as I hit 30's the hungovers from hell ensued.

PBT - no grief reaction to giving up as I understand all of this completely.

It is changing thinking patterns and habits for me eg weekend bottle of wine is allowed or the fact that if I feel upset about my old relationship I want a glass of wine whether I like it or not or even if I am that bothered about drinking more than one glass when I have started. Or just to pass some time at the weekend when I feel alone and think well it is allowed, it is the weekend after all.

Nothing wrong with abstaining from all things at all - not missing anything at all - why is the over the counter self service drug so controlling to the mind? Because it is legal? Socially acceptable? Grown up in a social scene where it is acceptable? Well ingrained habits indeed. Time to let go, stop gripping on to it and let it float away for a while. I can manage day to day then when a weekend comes feel more tempted and when a night out arrives with friends my old head rears up saying come on let's go for it! Learning to cope with these aspects now.

Bring on the weekend - it's almost here!

Plan is stay in on Fri, no alcohol on Fri either (no point stopping in from a night out and opening a bottle of wine to stay in with!) Then see how it goes from there and enjoy waking up on Sat with a clear head

jo1972

Well done newme, i understand you completely, keep going, the benefits are so worth it x

HB, im on 13 pls, 7 consecutive days, only done a whole week!!!!! So proud!

honeybear_2

I can't think of anything to add to the comments above, other than to say here's your last scores before the weekend & Ewoks & other things aplenty

YM = 5/31
Jo = 13/31
Miss P = 27/31
40sm = 3/31
Budgie = 27/31
SL = 7/31
Molls = 26/31
DC = 8/31
PBT = 26/31
SSA = 27/31
IM = 23/31
GP = 19/31
Fedupski = 16/31
Toby = 0/31
Nettttie = 26/31
Kittie = 27/31
Mookie = 27/31
Lurky = 25/28
Geranium = 0/29
MrsDee = 2/27
PIR = 21/25
DB = 6/25
Lincs = 14/25
Shoppy = 9/23
Squizz = 10/20
Saorsie = 23/18
Shaggy = 25/17
WBF = 17/16
Dreamonsu = 6/15
Hollie = 16/15
Caz = 2/14
Dizzy = 4/10
Habbit = 6/10
Maman = 11/?
Marru = 27/?
HB = 7/?
Changing Ways = 23/?
Mari = 4/?
MoS = 0/?
115K = 14/?
Fay = 21/?
Gien = 7/?
GG = ?/?

Bedtime at Bear Towers, night all

saorsie

24 for me please HB

-s-