The giving up/cutting down alcohol thread part VI

fruitycar

good morning allllllll (sorry stillll got a sticky L) early to bed with a good book last night so that makes 6 MAD for me please Shaggy.
To all those whose day is going to be challenging for many different reasons have I been here long enough yet to offer you alll a <<<hug>>> ? Hang it I'm a huggy kinda person so I'm going to <<<<<<< hug>>>>>> any way.

graemecarter

MountainOfDebt wrote: »

I muist admit, me and the wife, I believe, have drink problems. My issues are I can go weeks without having a drink, then the wheels come off spectacularly for 3 odd days, then I am off again for 4 days, maybe a week, maybe a month, but then the cycle happens again. I go through the phases of nice mellow (2 drinks), pleasant company (2 - 6/7 drink) to total tosspot (7+) drinks. I am mean, aggressive and not a nice person to be around. Nxt day, short tempered and unapproachable. I kleep telling the wife I should stop, that it's not good for me, but she doesn't think I am, she just says we can carry on, maybe we should manage it better, then it happens all over again. She equates fun to drinking and I have told her whilst she believes this, we'll always have issues with drink. We have no hobbies (I used to, but gave up cricket when the kids were born) so, I guess, we're bored.

Thanks for letting me open up, I have not had this chance, well, not had a captive audience before that actually listens

I am trying to be AF until April 7th and then in moderation from then on. If I can't do that, I think it's time to simply walk away from it, if I can.

If you are just drinking out of boredom, then I suggest you find other things to do. If that doesn't work, then it sounds like your relationship with alcohol is more serious than you thought and you may need help to beat it.

http://www.brighteyecounselling.co.uk/alcohol-drugs/binge-drinking-is-alcoholism-too/

You may need some help to stop drinking - very few people manage to stop drinking without a lot of help and support. Out of the hundreds of people that have posted on this thread, only a handful have managed to stop drinking (or cut down successfully)

Good luck

Miss_Piggy_2

Hi there Mountainofdebt and welcome to the madhouse!:rotfl:

I agree with Fay - hobbies tend to take a back seat when the kids arrive - its a lot easier to open a bottle of wine after a trying day with the kids etc than it is to get out and DO something.

Like Fay though, I too am trying to regain some of my hobbies. If you can find something to fill the time when you would normally drink then you may find it easier.

Good luck

Miss P
xx

shaggydoo

MountainOfDebt wrote: »

I am trying to be AF until April 7th

Good Luck:T

MountainOfDebt_2

fayjmck wrote: »

Hey mountain of debt - hello and you've found us - captive we are - and a friendly bunch.

you seem to have been thinking alot - do you think the hobbies kinda went when the kids arrived and they've been replaced (sort of) with drinking instead.

I only ask because I've found that I've given up alot of things since the kids arrived and up until lately I've just opened a bottle of wine instead of doing something else..............I'm slowly clawing back my 'hobbies' and I feel so much better for it.

Thanks for the warm welcome.
I think, in essence, we've always been drinkers i.e. we've always spent our spare time drinking quite a lot, but that with kids, our other outlets have reduced. I can have bad weeks and good weeks. My problem, I believe, is that it's like a tap, if I drink, I drink, and drink substantially, but if I don't drink, I am ok, not really bothered. At night, I'd drink decaf coffee out of choice if I could find a good one. I think most things I do are either at 100% or not, so that's the main issue.

The reasons I don't want to do it much anymroe is that I want to be around and not a burden for the kids and also want to set an example to them, a good one at that. Then there's the being a bit of an !!!!!!! when I am full of it. I cracked smoking cold turkey and have been ciggie free for 6 years, but now believe I need to do this with drink.

I have suggested to HQ, it might be a good idea to takle on something that we can all do together, outside, something like kayakling in a big old canoe all together. I do know I need change and understand there is a problem with my drinking. I guess I have known this for a while but have been afraid to talk about.

I am glad I have finally started to accept all of my issues.

maman

MountainOfDebt wrote: »

My problem, I believe, is that it's like a tap, if I drink, I drink, and drink substantially, but if I don't drink, I am ok, not really bothered. I think most things I do are either at 100% or not, so that's the main issue.

I have suggested to HQ, it might be a good idea to takle on something that we can all do together, outside, something like kayakling in a big old canoe all together. I do know I need change and understand there is a problem with my drinking. I guess I have known this for a while but have been afraid to talk about.

I am glad I have finally started to accept all of my issues.

:hello: Hello MountainOfDebt, your post will resonate with so many on here including me. The all or nothing bit particularly. Although I'm a cutter-downer, I can't just drink less regularly I have to have completely AF days and then drinking days(although I definitely don't drink to catch up on those).

Talking about it is why most people come on here especially as it's so much easier to talk to 'virtual' friends (and we are a very friendly lot:D) than our 'real' friends or even family.

Only you can decide what's best for you but whatever you decide you'll get lots of support and advice. Good Luck!

Icandothis_2

Hello Everyone and a special hello to Lilith and Mountain. I'm a newbie too but I haven't managed to share as much as you two have yet. Well done, very brave :T.
Both your stories struck a chord with me because my 'social' (in truth it's anti social) life seems to revolve around alcohol and most of my friends are heavy drinkers as is my OH. I too want to change; I hope we all manage it. I did the time machine thingy and found that I am damaging my health with the amount I drink :eek: I have to change.
Jo I hope the funeral goes ok. It will be a difficult day, funerals always are, but I'm sure you will be a support to your colleague. Fay hope everything went ok for you 'down south' (well it would be the far north for me but you know what I mean).
Shaggy I am reporting another MAD day yesterday, 5 now.

maman

Lilith1980 wrote: »

I guess I would like to cut down really and the question is...can I do this when out with friends or will it mean I stop seeing them in order to avoid being around that much alcohol. The other problem is my husband is a heavy drinker too - not everyday but cannot stop once he's started (like me).

I'm not going out so much anymore anyway because of my uni course (mature student, part-time) and I have been off cigarettes for 10 months, and hubby thinks I have turned boring. So I think I will keep quiet about me cutting down on the alcohol as I think he is the one more likely to give me stick. I don't think me making this decision is going to have a great affect on our already unstable marriage but I think well if he bases us having fun on just going out and getting leathered then how f***ed up is that anyway?

It sounds silly, but I feel that I have to hide the fact that I want to cut down rather than hiding my excessiveness.

:wave:Lillith, didn't mean to ignore you. You're not being silly at all. We often have debates on here about how to present the fact that we're cutting down using all sorts of subtrefuge (sp?) from driving to pregnancy:eek:

You need to decide what you want and stick to it what ever anyone else thinks. Many of us find aiming at an alcohol free target helps, others aim as high as they can and some amazing people just give up. There's heaps of ideas for occupying your time and soft drinks (especially Vimto:D)etc etc. Stick with us. Joining the thread was the best start.

Lilith1980

Hi all and thank you so much for your replies.

It's not going to be easy but I think since the trip to the doctors I now have the 'reason' to cut down.

Hubby knows about what the doctor said, he didn't really say much to be honest...maybe it's made him think about his drinking. But even if it hasn't I can only take responsibility for me and my drinking.

I feel more positive already at now being in the mindset to cut down. I know that hubby is out on Saturday night with friends drinking so I'm not sure if I'll be invited to go but I think I would prefer it if I wasn't.

As for my birthday, I'll be having 3-4 units and then that will be it. I know this is even a bit too much but I know I can achieve this and it's a lot better than what I would normally consume.

I'll keep you all updated with how I'm getting on, thanks for your support

115K

jo1972 wrote: »

Morning, gotta be quick need to get to work early today cos of the funeral

115k, I hope your test goes okay, when are you going? xx

I hope the funeral goes as well as can be expected Jo.:( I'm probably going to get the blood test tomorrow or Friday.