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  • Ames
    Ames Posts: 18,459 Forumite
    Thanks Butti, my dad hasn't been round in three and a half years because he doesn't like how messy it gets when I can't keep up with housework. He doesn't believe that ME or mental health problems exist, so there's no reason for me not to be able to do things. He's also very stuck on 'normal'. It's not normal to have a duvet in the living room to save on putting the heating on, so it's wrong. It's not normal to have to sit down to shower, so it's wrong.... Although to be honest, his 'normal' life of going to the same pub three times a week to talk to the same people doesn't really appeal to me, so I guess it horses for courses.
    Unless I say otherwise 'you' means the general you not you specifically.
  • Ames
    Ames Posts: 18,459 Forumite
    Lou, yay for cheap! The second best word in the English language, after 'free'!
    Unless I say otherwise 'you' means the general you not you specifically.
  • @ Ames - I think one of the most difficult things in life is realising that our parents aren't always right. After spending our whole childhood with them making the choices, it can be a bit discontenting to realise that they make mistakes just like the rest of us. I'm only just coming to terms with the idea that I don't need their approval for everything (especially as I'm considering doing something I know they won't approve of) but in the end, no two people are the same and we don't all have the same views on the world. You need to live in the way that's best for you, regardless of what other people think.

    Sorry about the ramblingness.
    Kayleigh
  • Ames
    Ames Posts: 18,459 Forumite
    Thanks Kayleigh I know I need to do what's best for me. That's why I've got the flat to an 'acceptable' level, instead of going all out getting it to his standards and then being too knackered to get out of bed for the next week. It's just hard when your parent says they'll never visit you again if the flat's not clean and tidy! And when they go against your best interests because they don't/can't accept that you have health needs. And then you have to admit to social services/support workers etc that your parents aren't there for you and can't be relied upon to be any help at all. And then the parent says you don't need social services because you can manage on your own! I just wish I could take my own advice, there's a current thread on here someone wanting to live away from her parents for her last year of uni but they wont let her because it'll mean taking out student loans and getting into debt. If I can see her situation clearly and advise, why can't I see my own?!

    Anyway, I've got a cup of coffee and I'm going to be strong when he gets here, and tell the truth for once, if he says 'why's that like that' 'because I'm ill and it's easiest and best for me'.

    And breathe....
    Unless I say otherwise 'you' means the general you not you specifically.
  • Ames wrote: »
    Thanks Kayleigh I know I need to do what's best for me. That's why I've got the flat to an 'acceptable' level, instead of going all out getting it to his standards and then being too knackered to get out of bed for the next week. It's just hard when your parent says they'll never visit you again if the flat's not clean and tidy! And when they go against your best interests because they don't/can't accept that you have health needs. And then you have to admit to social services/support workers etc that your parents aren't there for you and can't be relied upon to be any help at all. And then the parent says you don't need social services because you can manage on your own! I just wish I could take my own advice, there's a current thread on here someone wanting to live away from her parents for her last year of uni but they wont let her because it'll mean taking out student loans and getting into debt. If I can see her situation clearly and advise, why can't I see my own?!

    Anyway, I've got a cup of coffee and I'm going to be strong when he gets here, and tell the truth for once, if he says 'why's that like that' 'because I'm ill and it's easiest and best for me'.

    And breathe....

    There's a saying I'd put in my signature if I had room. "Friends are God's way of apologising for relatives."
    Kayleigh
  • Butti
    Butti Posts: 5,014 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 1,000 Posts
    'He's also very stuck on 'normal'. It's not normal to have a duvet in the living room to save on putting the heating on, so it's wrong. It's not normal to have to sit down to shower, so it's wrong....'

    Oooh that sounds very familiar. As my common-in-law-sister-in-law says to my dad 'Must be nice to be perfect'.
    Last time he was here he said 'When was the last time you dusted?' to which I replied 'When were you last here?'

    B
    Debt LBM (08/09) £11,641. DEBT FREE APRIL 2021.
    Diary 'Butti's journey : A matter of loaf or death'.
    Diary 2 'The whimsical tale of the Waterbed of Debt'
    48% off mortgage

    'one day I will be rich and famous…for now I'll just have to settle for being poor and incredibly sexy'. Vimrod Member of MIKE'S :cool: MOB
  • Snaggles
    Snaggles Posts: 19,503 Forumite
    Hellooooo!! :j

    Just got back from a lovely 4.5 mile 'hilly' (for me) run, really enjoyed it and feel great! All the more surprising as I'm basically on day 3 of CD, so should be feeling dreadful! :rotfl: Maybe I bypassed that bit by not eating for 4 days while I was ill!

    Need to go and buy some plant pots to put the courgettes in as they have grown so fast they are touching the top of the propagator - will have a kitchen windowsill full of vegetable plants for the next 3 months until they can go outside. Next time, I really must read the instructions. :rotfl:

    But first, I think I have earned a bath, a rest and a banana shake! :)
    "I wasn't wrong, I just wasn't right enough."
    :smileyhea
    9780007258925
  • becky_rtw
    becky_rtw Posts: 8,393 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 1,000 Posts Name Dropper Combo Breaker
    Helloooooo :)

    Second pb in two days :D:D (see my siggy) so am now resting for the rest of the day ;)

    Have a good Sunday everyone!
  • Snaggles
    Snaggles Posts: 19,503 Forumite
    Well done Becky. :T
    "I wasn't wrong, I just wasn't right enough."
    :smileyhea
    9780007258925
  • Burlesque_Babe
    Burlesque_Babe Posts: 17,547 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture Photogenic Combo Breaker
    back from seeing Charlie and helping ex with a job application. A job he didn't consider when it was advertised in the autumn but now feels he can do - the power of 'OMFG I need a job' has kicked in ;) I didn't like to tell him I'd shown him this 3 months ago, I just went with the helpful ex guise and helped him with what to say on the form.

    Might actually get what I need to get done today before OH phones me telling me there MUST be something online telling him how to change the glowplugs in his car nd that I need to look for him - even though when I looked yesterday there was nothing and told him so.

    'I'll look myself later' he said

    'so you don't believe me?' I said

    'I believe you, but I'm sure I found something myself when I did it last time'.

    'When was this as we've been together 7 years and you haven't done it in that time - did you even have internet when you did it last time?'

    'No'.........

    'so how do you know there's something on there from when you did it last time when you didn't have inernet and now it MUST be there and you don't believe me when I tell you there isn't?'

    Hard work..............insert copious numbers of rolling eye smileys but instead I'll go for

    megaroll.jpg
    :D"Stay Wonky":D

    :j:jBecome Mrs Pepe 9 October 2012 :j:j
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