Rights at inheritance

S1976

lincsdan86 wrote: »

okay if you asked alot of people on here if £2.5k cash is a drop in the ocean im sure i'd get a lot of replies to the contray.

With parents yes I personally would call it a drop in the ocean.

would you cut your child out of your will if they asked for the money that was rightfully theirs in the first place as they can make better use of the "investment" by paying other things off?

Yes I would... you want your 7k now, if I were your parents I would say here have it but expect to get less than your siblings when the house is sold when we die as you will no longer have any investment in the property to gain interest with.

I have my own son to consider, and personally I would never use money left for him, I would just puit it in the bank and leave it alone. my parents see it as an investment, at least that is the impresion they give.

Be careful here because you might not be the only one to miss out on future investments - if your parents do cut you out or down your end inheritance figure when they die, your children may miss out to, so maybe consider that investment also theirs.

Your seeing things in a very black and white way - families don't work that way, they shouldn't. I think you need to ask yourself if you actually love your parents, and if they are there for you when you are in trouble or need them. If the answer is yes, then leave them be and leave it alone - if the answer is no then go for your money and expect a rift that will possibly never ever be fixed.

lincsdan86

I have never once said that i wanted the 7k let alone right now! i just wanted to know how this would be calculated, btw i think 7k is high but hey.

I work in the financial industry and just started to do probate work hence the interest in how these things are calculated and how other people would calculated. If I did have the 2.5k out I wouldnt be the only sibling not to have an investment as my youngest sister was not around when grandfather died.

The will states that they had to give it back at 18 anyway, well meant to have so what is the view on the fact that the act of not repaying it wasnt as per the will?

jackieglasgow

Dan, I kind of see where you are coming from, but you know that if you ask for the money back, I really think it will end your relationship with your parents, and maybe even your siblings if they take sides. You have to ask yourself if this money is worth the hassle to your life. I have fallen out with my family, it's irrepairable, but not over money, for me, the money would not have been a dealbreaker, but their conduct might have. You know them better than us. Was it deliberate misappropriation of your money, or them doing what they thought was best and a bit misguided? I'll say again, £2.5k is nothing compared to the value of your relationship if it's repairable.

NAR

lincsdan86 wrote: »

NAR - would I not have to take into consideration the estimate £20k the attic cost? I mean the windows and the roof are repairs as they replace what is already there but the attic thats a major improvement..?

Yes think that it is fair to reduce the amount to take into consideration the improvements. This gives a revised amount of £6250 approx.

Please ignore the people with the opinionated remarks, they make comments on your life from a stance of ignorance.

S1976

lincsdan86 wrote: »

I have never once said that i wanted the 7k let alone right now! i just wanted to know how this would be calculated, btw i think 7k is high but hey.

I work in the financial industry and just started to do probate work hence the interest in how these things are calculated and how other people would calculated. If I did have the 2.5k out I wouldnt be the only sibling not to have an investment as my youngest sister was not around when grandfather died.

The will states that they had to give it back at 18 anyway, well meant to have so what is the view on the fact that the act of not repaying it wasnt as per the will?

That's fair enough Dan, and I do understand where you are coming from - I just wanted to point things out a little differently from how I had read the thread so far no malice or harm intended I'm sure it will all work out good in the end.

DVardysShadow

jackieglasgow wrote: »

Dan, I kind of see where you are coming from, but you know that if you ask for the money back, I really think it will end your relationship with your parents, and maybe even your siblings if they take sides. You have to ask yourself if this money is worth the hassle to your life. I have fallen out with my family, it's irrepairable, but not over money, for me, the money would not have been a dealbreaker, but their conduct might have. You know them better than us. Was it deliberate misappropriation of your money, or them doing what they thought was best and a bit misguided? I'll say again, £2.5k is nothing compared to the value of your relationship if it's repairable.

And I see where you are coming from. But going back a few posts, it seems to be the case that Dan's parents have been less than transparent about how they have dealt with the money. Now, from that perspective, I would say that it would not be surprising if Dan felt a little frosty towards his parents. And for me, their approach looks at least as relationship breaking as Dan asking for the money now.

There are good arguments for Dan dropping it, but I feel very strongly that in making those arguments, responsibility and blame for a possible breakdown in relationship should not be heaped on Dan's shoulders.

To me, what the parents have done is damaging to the relationship - not so much for how they spent the money, but for the guilty way they have handled the knowledge. How to take it forward is for Dan to decide - there is an opportunity here to show himself to be the bigger person, but I really don't support bundling him into that position by heaping the blame for a relationship breakdown on to his shoulders if he chooses not to drop the issue.

jackieglasgow

Oh I think you've got me completely worng, and I'm sorry if I didn't make myself clear. What I'm saying is that I would not fall out with them only over money, it would be their conduct that would be the problem for me, and that's what I think he needs to think about. I don't / wouldn't blame him, as you put it, for any breakdown in the relationship, the fault would squarely lie with the people who misapropriated the money, and subsequently lied about it. I just think that if he is willing to go down that line, he needs to be sure that he will cope/be happy/not mind the end of his relationship with his family. Never that he shouldn't. If these were my family, and I knew them, I would say it has been done sneakily, and they don't think it's important enough to excuse or explain it to their family, and that they feel some sort of entitlement to it, and for those reasons I personally would have no qualms in having my say and dealing with any possible fallout. In those circumstances the money is inconsequential.

Sorry to speak about you as if you aren't here, Dan.

lincsdan86

NAR wrote: »

Yes think that it is fair to reduce the amount to take into consideration the improvements. This gives a revised amount of £6250 approx.

Please ignore the people with the opinionated remarks, they make comments on your life from a stance of ignorance.

NAR can you show your working on that calculation - ta

lincsdan86

I would like to thank everyone for there comments even those that perhaps were not as helpful as the others. Anyway I am going round to speak to them tonight after having a conversation via email with my father yesterday, we both agreed we do not want this to end in a fued? (SP), but he personaly feels like I have treated him/them as clients, strictly all business and not in a family manner, where as i feel I have lost trust in my parents in the whole way that they have managed the affair, not giving the full details and not sorting this out when I was 18 but instead leaving it to me to ask the questions. Just want a level playing field again so we can all move on, cos i dont want my son growing up without grandparents so we will see.

floss2

lincsdan86 wrote: »

I would like to thank everyone for there comments even those that perhaps were not as helpful as the others. Anyway I am going round to speak to them tonight after having a conversation via email with my father yesterday, we both agreed we do not want this to end in a fued? (SP), but he personaly feels like I have treated him/them as clients, strictly all business and not in a family manner, where as i feel I have lost trust in my parents in the whole way that they have managed the affair, not giving the full details and not sorting this out when I was 18 but instead leaving it to me to ask the questions. Just want a level playing field again so we can all move on, cos i dont want my son growing up without grandparents so we will see.

Good luck i would suggest that you be honest with them, but equally be accepting of their arguments as to why they did what they did. To agree to disagree & move on from this would be a good resolution - and it will probably take effort from both sides to keep the harmony without going back to this matter.