Funeral - family flowers only but...

fly_dragon_fly

miss_edith wrote: »

:rotfl: Try producing one yourself to the same standard. Then you can come on here and insult people. :rolleyes:

we did and it came out beautifully and cost us £20 when we used the exact same flowers and oasis that the lady who quoted us £100 you do the math.

cheekyherb

I think money for the children is a nice idea. They can have the money and get a tree or something to remember their dad by.

shelovestobuystuff

I think money for the kids is a really good idea too.If you want to give flowers then spend very little on the flowers and do both things.
For my fathers funeral I just bought a bunch of large pure white lillies from m&s(about £6 and tesco are even cheaper)and tied them with a black ribbon.They looked as good as any flowers there which people had spent a fortune on.

carolpinkdreamer

I know when we were growing up that whenever someone died in our street there would be a collection from neighbours with the specific intention that the money was for the family. We never dreamed it would go to charity.

Janepig

There was a poster who was a regular on this site and another who died suddenly a while back and there was a collection for his children from other posters who knew him which came to quite a large amount and I know was very gratefully accepted by his family.

Jxx

mrcow

margaretclare wrote: »

We went to a funeral last spring and were asked 'where was our wreath'? We said we don't do wreaths, especially not at a cremation, we give to charity instead. That funeral had been for an ex-serviceman so we gave to the Royal Naval Association.

Who asked you that? That's so rude.

mrcow

belfastgirl23 wrote: »

Do you think it would be offensive to just give her some money when the inevitable happens? and how much do you think would sound right?

No, it sounds like a very thoughtful, caring thing to do.

In terms of "how much" - any gift should always be how much you think you would like to give. It's a gift and there is no right or wrong answer.

tandraig

belfastgirl23 wrote: »

On a different note, do you think it's acceptable to offer money to the relatives rather than send flowers? A friend's dad is very ill at the moment and in all likelihood will pass away before summertime. I know my friend is pretty strapped for cash - she has been caring for her dad for a number of years and hasn't been able to work. The funeral will already be paid for via a funeral plan but I know her personal finances are in a bad way. Do you think it would be offensive to just give her some money when the inevitable happens? and how much do you think would sound right?

Sorry to hijack OP but it's something your thread has made me think about ...

I think its perfectly acceptable as long as its done tactfully, personaly i would put cash in an envelope and tell her to use it how she feels best, whether its towards funeral costs or donation to a charity or just to pamper herself a little is up to her.
I would give at least what I spend on flowers - possibly more. my OHs friend (his second mum) passed away recently and the funeral notice stated family flowers only and donations would be given to the local hospital which cared for her. we planned to give a donation but my OH found out that he was thought of as family and was told they would be pleased to have a floral offering from him - so we did both!
as for the amount - floral tribute costs vary greatly around the country - here we would expect to pay upwards of £25 for a very simple spray of flowers and well over £50 for any sort of arrangement (cushion, wreath).

laurad85

At my grandma's funeral in November, the home she was in before she died asked everyone to come and have a cup of tea and something to eat afterwards. They refused to take any money so everyone put a little something in a pot and this was used to take the residents out for the day. It was only a small home and everyone had a great time. I thought this was a lovely idea
Laura
x