Funeral - family flowers only but...

hayley11

....they have said if you want to make a donation, the money will be given to the children (the man who died was in his 30's and has four children, the eldest is 16)

I've never seen this before, it's always been donations to charity.

I just wondered if this was usual? It seems really bizzare to me.

mum2one

Its not the 1st time i've heard of that, a few yrs ago alocal lad hanged himself left 3yr child, they had collection for her.

Guess they think that the children need the money for the future, or maybe get something to remember their dad by.
x

ariba10

Better than giving it to the florist.

tandraig

could it be the family is now in dire straits? many men in their thirties havent made provision for the family if they die?
saying that - it is unusual - the funeral directors usually know why these requests are made, so ask them.
but, if you want to send flowers, do so. personally, if its a cremation, I dont see the point. for flowers to be displayed for five minutes between cremations? the hospitals dont accept them now. they are put on compost heap!
if it was a choice between flowers and helping the family through a financial crisis. I would give money.

hayley11

ariba10 wrote: »

Better than giving it to the florist.

Well yeah I agree with that. I think loads of flowers at a funeral is a waste tbh but i've just never heard of the money going to the kids, it's always been a charity.

doelani

I do not think it is bizzarre, especially if you children. I have known of people who have died and a collection done in say their workplace and the money given to spose/kids.

As a family ourselves when a relative died who had no money and we know her family did not really have any spare money and she had no insurance. We ( nephews and nieces ) each put £20 each together to give to her daughter to help with costs of funeral etc rather than waste it on flowers. This was not a lot, a few hundred £££. I know the family appreciated it.

hayley11

I guess I hadn't thought that maybe the family were struggling financially, if that is the case it makes sense.

I think bizzare was maybe the wrong word, I wasn't meaning to be critical, it's just not something I have ever heard of it and I wondered what other peoples thoughts were on it.

*Louise*

I have only heard of it once, my uncle married and moved to America, when he died just over a year ago, his wife requested no flowers and instead any money would be saved into a college fund for his young children, who were 2 and 4 at the time.

If a family are struggling financially after a death, then it makes sense to use any donated money themselves, the saying 'charity begins at home' has never been more applicable.


Edited to add: and at least they have been honest about it.

doelani

hayley11 wrote: »

I think bizzare was maybe the wrong word, I wasn't meaning to be critical, it's just not something I have ever heard of it and I wondered what other peoples thoughts were on it.

Things have changed so much with funerals, you were not critical lol

When my mum died we had family flowers only , one from children and one from grandchildren and asked donations for charity.

My mum though herself was different , no matter who died if family or a friend she bought flowers and if donations for charity were asked for she thought this was so wrong, bless her bet she was turning in her grave when she only got 2 lots.

JBD

Even a very simple funeral or cremation is quite expensive nowadays so this in itself can cause hardship for some families. Personally I would be happy to give money rather than flowers.

zenmaster

Charity begins at home?