elderly relative putting herself at risk...

treliac

foreign correspondent, your relative's problems, irrational beliefs and fears, are very common in older age. No amount of reasoned discussion will budge her thinking even if she appears, temporarily, to appease you.

In addition to the suggestions already made, you could ask her GP whether her area has a specialist mental health team for older people. The GP should be able to refer for a community psychiatric nurse to visit, so request an assessment.

Regardless of diagnosis or otherwise, her problems are real and put her at risk. These problems are only likely to become worse as time goes on.

The Alzheimers Society may be able to offer help and advice. For information and how to find a local branch - http://alzheimers.org.uk/

foreign_correspondent

She had a visit from a CPN about six months ago - apparently (I was not there but another relative was) she told the CPN all sort of strange things, innacurate accounts of quite important life events (eg. what her husband died from) - but the CPN seemed satisfied she was ok...

She presents quite well in some ways, can remember most of the right answers for short term memory tests etc, but has these delusional ideas, which she will tell anyone and everyone, as clearly they are very real to her...

I will keep trying though, thanks

MrsE_2

foreign_correspondent wrote: »

She had a visit from a CPN about six months ago - apparently (I was not there but another relative was) she told the CPN all sort of strange things, innacurate accounts of quite important life events (eg. what her husband died from) - but the CPN seemed satisfied she was ok...

She presents quite well in some ways, can remember most of the right answers for short term memory tests etc, but has these delusional ideas, which she will tell anyone and everyone, as clearly they are very real to her...

I will keep trying though, thanks

But the CPN might not know all this info is wrong, unless you attend to tell them the correct info - thats what I had to do with my mum.

Errata

FC - would a way forward be asking her GP to refer her for another assessment by the mental health team for older people, or the CPN ? If that could be organised and you could be with your relative during the visit you then have the opportunity to very gently give the correct answer to the questions if your relly geets it wrong ? Won't be an easy trick to pull off, but if you have good verbal skills it would be worth a go. eg "Fred was a lovely bloke, wasn't he, I was quite upset when he died in 1988" after your relly has sworn blind Fred is out to get her. I'm sure you get my gist.

ClootiesMum

do you mean her hospital doctor, or GP?

I would have said her GP - the doctor can refer her if necessary and in my experience hospital doctors & consultants are so busy that they don't often have the time to follow up "issues" that have not been referred to them (this is not to be seen as an indictment of consultants but if they're based in a hospital they may be encouraged to have closure on cases).
And I'm sorry - it's not easy - you may have to lie along the way to get a call out, you might have to call doctors daily or generally make a nuisance of yourself - but you know yourself what has to be done & it may take a while to get things moving but once that happens you will get help & contacts.

Best of luck
CM

Mojisola

Have you put it in writing to the GP and Social Services that you consider your mother to be at risk, in a calm way with objective examples? Sometimes they will brush you off in a conversation but once something is in writing, which could be produced in evidence if the worst happens, minds focus more on the problem.

My mother wasn't at risk but it took me a couple of years to get the GP to refer her to the Memory Clinic (who deal with dementia patients). A brain scan showed she had problems so she started treatment after that. Even several years on since diagnosis she can appear perfectly in control if a doctor only sees her for 10-15 minutes and I have had GPs question the diagnosis. Much of what she says is wrong but, as it's said in a totally confident way, they accept it.

Bronnie

Mojisola wrote: »

Have you put it in writing to the GP and Social Services that you consider your mother to be at risk, in a calm way with objective examples? Sometimes they will brush you off in a conversation but once something is in writing, which could be produced in evidence if the worst happens, minds focus more on the problem.

My mother wasn't at risk but it took me a couple of years to get the GP to refer her to the Memory Clinic (who deal with dementia patients). A brain scan showed she had problems so she started treatment after that. Even several years on since diagnosis she can appear perfectly in control if a doctor only sees her for 10-15 minutes and I have had GPs question the diagnosis. Much of what she says is wrong but, as it's said in a totally confident way, they accept it.[/QUOTE]

My experience too, masking the fact that the person is in fact a vulnerable adult.

My father's memory problems, developed over many years, with hindsight from his early fifties. Originally we thought of as dad's 'funny little ways', to being 'covered' by my mum and his masterful confabulation skills.

It was a huge battle to get his problem identified, unfortunately not soon enough before some serious issues occurred. Once the problem was eventually identified and the wheels were in motion, appropriate intervention was swift and effective.

It was reaching the point where the problem was to be taken seriously that was the hard part. That is the point I see you at now, fc.

foreign_correspondent

I have stated my concerns in writing once, and I will do again this week. I have tried most of the things already suggested, but to no avail, (thanks for all the advice though, it really is helpful) however, I will write again to the person who has assessed her, and will contact her GP tomorrow.

They accept that she has paranoid delusions, however, they also believe she is competent to make her own mind up about what help she accepts, where she lives etc, as her delusions about the neighbours 'do not frighten her' - when I said I was more concerned about the delusions about the heating, which actively put her at risk of hypothermia, I was told that her fears were not unreasonable, as her heating could (theoretically) set the house on fire....I was incredulous that they could 'go along' with this unreasonable and irrational fear that is putting her life at risk!!

If it were true that it is safer to sit in the cold, rather than switch the heating on, we would all be sitting in the cold... and all this advice that the elderly should keep their homes warm should be scrapped!:rolleyes:

What really worries me is that I am relatively well clued up, (I have worked in the social care sector, and the NHS, though I have no experience in geriatric/older peoples services) articulate, and generally able to seek out advice and advocate - and yet, again and again, when it comes to seeking out help for people, either in my professional or personal life, I find there is a series of almost insurmountable barriers to getting them the help they need.

How old people (or anyone vulnerable) cope without someone fighting their corner really worries me...

MrsE_2

foreign_correspondent wrote: »

What really worries me is that I am relatively well clued up, (I have worked in the social care sector, and the NHS, though I have no experience in geriatric/older peoples services) articulate, and generally able to seek out advice and advocate - and yet, again and again, when it comes to seeking out help for people, either in my professional and personal life I find there is a series of almost insurmountable barriers to getting them the help they need.

How old people (or anyone vulnerable) copes without someone fighting their corner really worries me...

I work for social services.
Not in the county or the elderly services I might add.
But I guess that made it easier for my with my mum.
But you should be able to access services equally for everyone.

foreign_correspondent

MrsE wrote: »

I work for social services.
Not in the county or the elderly services I might add.
But I guess that made it easier for my with my mum.
But you should be able to access services equally for everyone.

I do not want to start bashing social workers as I know many individual workers, as friends and colleagues, who do a good job and who are very dedicated - however, from a systemic level there seems to be so much pressure on them to keep referrals to a minimum and to close cases ASAP, that sometimes it feels like the main objective of their role is to process and close cases, not to actually provide any kind of practical help.