Dealing with the green eyed monster

BrandNewDay

nelly wrote:

Heres somert to think about or some one to be jealous of.

David beckham earns roughly 100 grand a day and all he can do is kick a ball.

Yeah, but look at his wife...

MinnieSpender

Jealousy doesn't achieve anything - apart from giving you wrinkles and zits. Isn't it better to turn that feeling to mild envy and think, "yeah, that's for me too!" and then work at being the best you can be?

Even with my debts, I think I'm one of the richest people on earth. I've got clean water, a roof over my head, my wits about me, and having beaten illness twice, I've got my health. Utterly priceless.

ILoveHenryJames

gilly41 wrote:

Hi
I too have friends that have things handed to them on a plate---but I have learnt to appreciate all the things I have that are good and to really not dwell on what other people have----I try to put my energy in to my own life though as other posters say this does take time and you have to train yourself to do it!!

A truly excellent post from you gilly41, a firm handshake and thanks go out to you.

I managed to learn pretty quickly in life that it is best for me to judge myself against my own standards/expectations and not against those of my peers. For (an extreme) example; there is a famous Premiership footballer with exactly the same birthdate as me, it is reported he earns 50k a week. Now I could look at him and pity myself with thoughts such as 'We are the same age and he earns so much and I will never earn that much etc etc etc'.

What I do instead is judge how well I am doing against my background and the expectations I have. My parents are largely working class, have not been to university, have never built up any savings as such, they have a predominently 'small village' mentality etc etc etc - not the poorest of the poor at all, but very limited means. From this less than auspicious of beginnings I have read for two degrees from two different Russell Group Universities, travelled, earn very good money, buy nice clothes (even if they look awful on me!), have private dental treatment, have a medium-sized buy-to-let mortgage on a place I rent out. I got this, and will get more, by having; vision, self-belief and most of all by working my !!!!!! off.

Sorry for rambling, hope it helps someone, somewhere.

gilly41 wrote:

My parents havent spoken to me for years---I have just heard that my brother is due to inherit all their money when they die(£250K) as I am written out of the will!!! It wont buy him happiness so good luck to him!!!

If you are happy doing so then work out a plan of how you can challenge that will when the time comes, create a story that your parents were delusional if you must. Or, maybe try and get speaking with your parents (if you can); it doesn't have to be genuine, but if the money matters then do it.

HomeJames_3

I know the feeling only too well looking back thats what probably got me into debt in the first place wanting to "have it all" but realistically its only when you look at what you do have ie relationships with partners friend etc that you realise that money isnt everything and it certainly doesnt buy happiness and anyway they wouldnt have to oportunity to get the support and help from this site. It makes you a stronger more determined person to have to work towards the goal of being debt free!!

rubix_76

nelly wrote:

Heres somert to think about or some one to be jealous of.

David beckham earns roughly 100 grand a day and all he can do is kick a ball.

and whenever he talks in an interview on TV he repeats himself

and whenever he talks in an interview on TV he repeats himself

and we have all heard how much him and "vic" argue, I'd rather be a strapped for cash, but happy with DW and DS (15 weeks old). Bring on the 100k a day !!! :rotfl:

rubix_76

This may sound silly, but does anyone feel the same as me. The debt we have is almost like an exam, like a target, seems never ending, but a challenge none-the-less.

Whenever I was studying, it was hard work, but when you finished you found yourself with nothing to do, and wanted a new challenge. During study you watched TV 'cos you didn't want to study, but when you didn't need to study you didn't want to watch TV, and felt guilty if you did, as if you should be doing some "work".

OK ... maybe it's just me :rotfl:

lady_fuschia

No, its not just you. I feel like that too. Guess once you're debt free you can start working on building savings instead though.

rubix_76

lady_fuschia wrote:

No, its not just you. I feel like that too. Guess once you're debt free you can start working on building savings instead though.

That is true lady_fuschia, any money left over from my "planned" outgoings, gets put to one side, and it is most satifying seeing it mount up, it will definitely come in handy for one of those "rainy day" occasions. :j

won't be "saving" for a while though. (debt interest Vs savings interest)

JenIttels

I need to squish my green-eyed monster. I could be a lot worse off but still feel a bit bleugggghhh when i hear about people who are better off. It's childish, overly-competitive and a complete waste of time. It also leaves me with a nasty taste of resentment towards my friends who I'm jealous off.

I'm going to head over to the 'I wanna buy it or do it' board and see if anyone has seen a green-eyed monster mallet on sale.

Glitterari

I too suffer suffer with the green eyed monster - however, I just try and focus on the fact that I have sorted it all out on my own and my goal is to have 'enough' to be happy and comfortable - just enough to get a place of our own and live happily.

It's better than being like my friend who I met up with this weekend, after not seeing him for a while - is basically waiting for various family members to pop thier clogs so that can pay off his loan and apparently he'll have a few houses left to him too.