Dealing with the green eyed monster

Mirtos

I have a friend from school like this. Her parents paid for all her tuition, rent, bills and pocket money through uni, found her a job in a local solicitors when her law degree didn't get her one elsewhere, gave her a car from the family business, pay for her petrol, the works AND NOW THEY'VE JUST CONVERTED AN 18TH CENTURY BARN FOR HER TO LIVE IN:mad:
My parents helped me as much as they could, but nothing like this! I worked through Uni, and I'm still in debt Ahhh!!!
But you know what? just recently I've realised that I'm not jealous anymore. I don't want to be like her. To her, money and "things" are everything - her designer clothes are what define who she is. She is selfish in the extreme, and is so used to getting what she wants, she is nigh on incapable of considering the feelings of others and modifying her behaviour accordingly. If tomorrow, daddy went bankrupt, she would not be able to manage on her own. Her wealthy 'friends' would be no help, and she'd have no skills to pick herself up again. Worse still, because money is the only measure of success and personal worth in her eyes, she would see herself as a failure and lose her inflated self esteem.
At least I know that NO MATTER WHAT I'll be ok. I'm strong enough to cope. I wouldn'tgive that up for all the money in the world.

Mrs_Sparkle

I do feel jealous of people who seem to have everything handed to them on a plate but just think how much more our money will mean to us once we're debt free. Every £ will be appreciated in my household once all our debts are gone. And it makes us more interesting, well-rounded personalities in my view (not that I'm biased!)

Kevicho

Also another point you may have heard on the tapes

A person who is poor mith money will end up broke, no matter how rich they are, that just magnifies there problems, so you may end up meeting her on the way up

(Quite a mean thought that i must admit)

Gillby1

I would like to echo what several people here have said. There are people so much worse of in the world - people living in slums, communities living in fear of violence/disease/natural disasters, families living with the knowledge that a loved one is missing/in danger etc.... I don't mean to trivialise the concerns of anyone on this forum, as of course we all have worries and concerns of our own, and some are really very serious. I just want to remind you that there are others out there who would give almost anything to have many of the things we take for granted.

The problem is, it's human nature to aspire to be/have bigger, better, more, and as we compare ourselves not to those worse off in the world, or maybe even to the average person in the West, but instead to those who have achieved far more than they could ever need, materially - celebrities etc.. I'm guilty of this too, even though it doesn't make sense to me, and certainly doesn't make me happy.

I for one am going to make the effort to appreciate the running water a previous poster mentioned, the social and political freedom that i have (and probably don't make the most of!) and the food that is always easily available to me.

BTW - I apologise if this sounds like a lecture. I'm not quite sure where it all came from!

sparkle_monkey

You're right Kevicho, of course I've been listening to 'the tapes'! It really got me thinking about planning for the future.
Everyone has made very valid points, I realise I've not grown up yet (even at 28) and really need to focus more on my achievements with debt repayment instead.
She is very supportive of my efforts and the money couldn't have gone to a nicer person. We've talked about the cash before and she missed out on a lot of things from her parents, especially love, friendship and emotional support, things that I continue to receive from my parents. You really can't put a price on unconditional love so I think I should shut up and be thankful for everything I do have! :beer:

lady_fuschia

Its true that people with rich parents who support them and hand them everything on a plate often don't grow up properly or learn to cope on their own. Often come down to earth with a bump once their parents aren't around any more (or go broke, as happened to my OH's ex- she had no idea how to cope without Daddy's money and ended up bankrupt). At least you can be grateful that you've learned to take responsibilty for yourself, which is a gift in itself.

needmoney

Sparkle, console yourself I think we can all feel jealous sometimes.
I haven't got it completely under control but pretty much so these days I just say to myself I can't be them/live that life, they can't me be.

My aim these days is to have enough and like GinghamRibbon said on another thread I think it was something like.........'enjoy what I'm doing' Will have to look that up now can't quite remember the exact words lol

Donedoingdebt

sparkle_monkey wrote:

I don't want to live on catfood when I retire!
/QUOTE]An ex girlfriend once unknowingly (so she said) made me a shepherds pie made out of frozen dog meat from my parents freezer. It was quite nice as well!

lynzpower

sparkle_monkey wrote:

You're right Kevicho, of course I've been listening to 'the tapes'! It really got me thinking about planning for the future.
Everyone has made very valid points, I realise I've not grown up yet (even at 28) and really need to focus more on my achievements with debt repayment instead.
She is very supportive of my efforts and the money couldn't have gone to a nicer person. We've talked about the cash before and she missed out on a lot of things from her parents, especially love, friendship and emotional support, things that I continue to receive from my parents. You really can't put a price on unconditional love so I think I should shut up and be thankful for everything I do have! :beer:

Ive just noticed your Sig - sparkle monkey you are going GREAT GUNS!!

On a rough estimate I work out that on current repayment rates, you will ber debt free in 6 months- is that right??

Brilliant efforts!!

sparkle_monkey

Thanks lynzpower! but unfortunately I still have my student loans, which aren't in my signature!
However, the good news is I've got £1800 in the bank here in Japan to pay towards the debt when I get home. Yeah!:beer: