Dealing with the green eyed monster

sparkle_monkey

Well I feel terrible about this but I'm so jealous of one of my dearest friends. Her dad gave her 100,000 grand to buy a house and as things are going she is 30 and never has to work again - due to money coming in from people renting and other investments etc.
I wish her well and love her - she definitely doesn't rub it in your face - but I can't help feeling the usual 'life aint fair' feeling. My parents are skint, so am I and I'd love to have all that free time to pursue my interests and work purely out of choice, rather than necessity.
So my question is, is there any hope for those of us in debt? I listened to the audio books about becoming a millionaire and I want to believe it's possible but it feels like a chance in hell. I'm pursuing a career that interests and inspires me, but in the process I'm forfeiting earning a big salary. So, unless you're lucky and have a wealthy, generous family or a high paying job does it mean a life of scrimping and saving?
I don't want to live on catfood when I retire!
I'd be interested to hear your thoughts about this, how do you deal with jealousy and what do you see your future being financially? (ie will you start investing once you are debt free? Do you plan to retire early?)

CosmoCat

i think one of the great things that you are doing is acknowledging your feelings and letting it out. it really prevents it from getting bottled up inside and festering and becoming even more negative. and you'll be surprised how much more quickly the feeling dissipates once you have let it out into the open.

i hope my financial future will be a debt free one. i had never actually thought about it before joining this site last month. i want to be able to earn money for me and not for my creditors. my husband and i are happy to live in a little shack on a beach somewhere, so we have no gigantic financial goals. just give us a few fruit trees and we'll be happy. all i want to do is not owe. that would be a great feeling.

i don't feel jealous of other people's good fortunes. i guess i've learnt to take a philosophical view of other people's luck and mine (believe me, this came with alot of work and wasn't always like this). i've learnt to not spend energies looking into other people's lives, but to look into my own and how to achieve my own dreams and desires....or maybe i feel this way right now because the sun is streaming onto my desk and it is an absolutely gorgeous day....

i know exactly how you feel though, but with the inroads you're making into your debt, you'll soon be able to work at the job you love and enjoy what you earn from it.

all the best

**purpleprincess**

I know this feeling!! But feel that (rightly or wrongly) things do happen for a reason. When I become debt free I will be keeping all the habits I've learned from MSE and will be saving as much as I can and aim to live as frugally but as happily as possible. (Happiness is key for me) This will then hopefully mean that I won't be eating cat food when I retire!! I don't own anywhere but hope to one day. (this has turned into a bit of a ramble! soz!)

**purpleprincess**

Oh yeah, jealousy! I find that once I've acknowledged the feeling then as melabarrie says it usually disperses. It's continuing to think about it that causes that feeling to rot inside you and cause the monster! Grrrrr! You are who you are hun and lovely whether you're rich or not! xx

Quincifer

I get jealous all the time! I live with students, a couple of which get their tuition fees paid, rent paid AND get a monthly allowance from their parents!! Oh to be wealthy! But then I think that I have so much more experience in the real world and am much more prepared for the future whereas they won't know whats coming to them when they leave uni and have to fend for themselves.
The only thing you can do is keep your head up and just look towards what you are working for.
xxx

lady_fuschia

Oh how familiar!!
Almost exactly the same thing happened to a friend of mine (hey, maybe we both know her- I hate thinking there's more than one person that lucky!)I agree, it can get you down. But then, I suppose even if we're in debt, there's people worse off than us- at least we have a roof over our heads, running water, decent oppurtunities in life etc. Could be worse... Doesn't always help I know. I think its ok to feel a bit jealous sometimes, provided you don't let it take over, or encourage you to try and keep up.

ms_london

I dont know anyone like that - but you do hear of people that get everything given to them on a silver plate & never have to work for anything.

Now I am debt free I do feel so much better about things - and even though I am still saving, I know that in 5 weeks yesterday I can start to enjoy my hard work..

As for the future, I know I will be back to square one when I return to the UK (although hopefully I will have a bit of cash to come back to!!), but I just want to save up & perhaps invest in some property, start my own business (when I figure out in what!!), and be comfortable. I dont want to save EVERYTHING for retirement as quite frankly you never know if you will still be around to enjoy it or well enough to enjoy your time - but I do want a secure future.

I'll never be rich, but I'll have to make do with the best I have & utilise my earning potential.

For every person that has more than you, there is also one that has less than you!!

xx

Kevicho

sparkle_monkey wrote:

I don't want to live on catfood when I retire!

Someones been listing to John Cummuta

At the end of the day everyone is different, just try to remember youyr good points, also the ambition to do well you have.

There is always someone else who is in a worse position

All the best in your quest

Kev

gilly41

Hi
I too have friends that have things handed to them on a plate---but I have learnt to appreciate all the things I have that are good and to really not dwell on what other people have----I try to put my energy in to my own life though as other posters say this does take time and you have to train yourself to do it!!
I look at the fact that I have good health(you certainly cant buy that) a lovely second hubby after years of being married to a complete loser, two grown up kids that have both achieved so much---my daughter has just got a First Class Honours degree in Maths!! and thats from a girl that went to the worst comprehensive in the town!!! There are so many good things in our lives that cost nothing----things happen for a reason and your time will come!!
My parents havent spoken to me for years---I have just heard that my brother is due to inherit all their money when they die(£250K) as I am written out of the will!!! It wont buy him happiness so good luck to him!!!
Take care
xxxx

lynzpower

So my question is, is there any hope for those of us in debt? I listened to the audio books about becoming a millionaire and I want to believe it's possible but it feels like a chance in hell. I'm pursuing a career that interests and inspires me, but in the process I'm forfeiting earning a big salary. So, unless you're lucky and have a wealthy, generous family or a high paying job does it mean a life of scrimping and saving?
I don't want to live on catfood when I retire!
I'd be interested to hear your thoughts about this, how do you deal with jealousy and what do you see your future being financially? (ie will you start investing once you are debt free? Do you plan to retire early?)

1. Is there any hope? OF COURSE THERE IS!!!! Every single penny you pay off your debt is one step closer to being rich. Once Im debt free, Ill have a spare 400 a month to play with. Thats not taking into account any payrises I mgiht have. Its not millionaires money, but hell, it will feel like it to me! Once those financial pressures of paying the creditors is over with, I can do what I want, go part time if I wanted, buy a holiday home abroad, you name it, I will be able to do it.

It doesnt mean a life of scrimping, it just means until the debt is paid off you might have to, the more you scrimp now, the less time it will take to get it over with.

I see my future being one where IM in conrol of my finances, not them to me ,where banks come to me wanting me to save with them not take on debt with them ( as if ) and having one of those moment where I can literally rub my hands together watching my bank balance rising and getting interest
We are thinking about setting up a business or two, we have a long time working yet, but wed rather be doing something where we are both happy in our work. Both our parents have run thier own businesses successfully, Its a natural conclusion for us.

Also Im not jealous of anyone who gets given it all on a plate, i did for a while till I told my parents to stop, they tend not to be resilient, creative or as presevering as many of us here- and Im pleased about that! :beer:

Chrismojam

I suppose it is easy to be jealous of someone who appears to or actually has more (financially) ..........however I put great stock in life experiences......they make you richer (and much stronger) than you would ever be if you had money handed to you 'on a plate'...

I used to hate all the horrible things that have happened to me over over the years.............but I am really greatful for them.........they make me who I am.........and that is a bloody good human being as far as I am concerned;)

Whilst years ago, I may have been a bit (ok alot) bitter when I heard someone complaining about some trivial (well to me anyway) thing....now I think.....well good....I'm glad for you that's all you've got to be worried about....