what happens to my fiancee's son if she dies?

Barneysmom

Bless you for caring so much for the bab, I think you should maybe think about getting married asap and adopting him - you're obviously more caring than his bio father.
I had a few issues with my stepdad (and everyone else lol) through my teens but he's the most amazing peron and has always stood by me, he's my real dad and I love him so much.
All the best xx

joey75

when my hubby and i got married my son was able to take on my married name if he wanted to under the childrens act or something which he did but now my son is 16 he has used my married name for 8 years but his Ni number is in his previous (my madian name) but his birth certificate is in his born name (bio dads surname) which meant he had to open a bank account in his original surname due to id issues, his NI number is in my maidain name and he is known by my married name so its confusion all round!!!!

MrsAnnie

My brother went through the exact thing, except he was once married to the biological mum (not sure if this makes a difference) but legally they were advised that the only sure fire way to ensure his present wife (stepmum and main carer for most of daughters life) remained his daughter's carer etc if anything happened to him, was for stepmum to adopt his daughter. Which eventually she did, after a long process which invovled consent from biomum and support from ALL the family on each side. Even I had to give my thoughts on the adoption to the case worker.

teeni wrote: »

You can apply for a parental responsibility order which would give you the same rights as bioloical father. as things stand bioloical father could simply arrive and take the child away.

QUOTE]

Not sure if this is actually correct. You would need to consult a solicitor to clarify the law regarding this.

Not wanting to put a damper on your very ggod intentions (which are admirable), but even though wishes can be written in a will, the law will always prevail. What does the biological father think of this proposal? Because I would bet the law will be on his side, unless given very good reason otherwise.

Hope the situation never arises!

Dilfred

@ alleycat, I cannot adopt yet as the rules state a minimum period of parenting, aswell as requiring natural father permission which my OH thinks would not give. Likewise I don't want to apply for it actually (strange as it may sound) until son is older and understands what adoption really means and that his association with his natural father. Despite OH's opinion I will not stand in the way of MY son (well i see him like that) if he wants to see/find out about real dad in the future. So it has to be his decision to get adopted, not ours.

@floss2, tenni, thorsoak yes a will seems to be the general conclusion here, we'll have to look into that. Especially the part about just before marriage and it becoming null after.

@shelley_crow, I did not know that if I did have PR natural father could still put a case together, I doubt he would in honesty from what fianceee has said, but certainly will think more about that.

I have been considering a will anyway, as until I do DS would not have any legal right as my step son. Likewise I don't think I have any parental responsability to him at the moment, despite what I do. Weird, but hey ho. I don't think I even have it when I marry my fiancee. As you say Teeni maybe I need to apply or something for it.

Finally @Barneysmom, thank you xx, I would love to get married sooner if honest, but it's a case of saving up the money to do it. I don't want to have any wedding debts hanging over us so that when we are married the first thing that sinks home is a repayment going out the door. So saving every bean to make sure can 100% finance it before the day. I love DS, and unconditionally, but strange also as starting to realise in a different way to my natural baby (don't know if blue/pink yet) that is due in a few weeks time. It does not matter anyway, as they are both equal and will be treated like that. OH and I have spoken alot about that (big fear from her) that if either of us treats any of our children any differently then we are to pull each other up on it (out of earshot obviously)

SandC

I'm not sure about the issue of guardianship but maybe it could even be discussed with the father by your fiancee?

I know for sure that you cannot just adopt because you marry his mother - the father has to give consent for this.

SandC

Crossed over with you there.

MrsAnnie

thorsoak wrote: »

You can actually make a will "in anticipation of a marriage to XX" - but if I recall correctly, the marriage has to take place within six months of the date the will was attested.

This just gives the courts an understanding of why the will is written the was it has been i.e. why you are leaving say £xxxxxx to John Doe, which at the time of writing was not a husband yet, but was intended to be. IYSWIM

It was my understanding that you still have to rewrite the the will after marriage has taken place. .

Dilfred

@joey75, goodness, how confusing, though name change is not something I am considering until he's much older and fully understands the implications. That said if OH had her way, she'd change it tomorrow. I think I may consider "double barrelling" his surname in the future if I have to give in :P

@MrsAnnie, I too hope the situation never arises, but better safe than sorry. True about talking to a solicitor, think that is rapidly becoming rather important in more ways than one.

@SandC, I agree, a discussion between natural father and fiancee would be great but she simply is not willing at this time to do that. He as far as she is concerned should not exist and does not have any say in anything, but again, legal beagles will probably put wind up that.

leanneq

Be aware that the law changes massively for children born after 01/12/03. Anyone with children born before this may give you wrong advice.
Prior to this date, a child born out of wedlock, the father had no PR even if his name is on the certificate.
Any child born after, the father has PR as long as his name is on the certificate.
I would recommend seeing a solicitor - might be worth speaking to your local Domestic abuse officer purely because they can recommend whose a specialist in this sort of stuff in your area.
It's important to get something in place anyway.

lilmisschick

Interesting thread, and more so because we are in exactly the same predicament!!

I have 2 dd's from a previous relationship and my OH is more of a father to them than they have ever received from their biological father! We are also expecting a baby in 6 weeks (strange, lol) but we actually got married ten weeks as we wanted to be married before baby comes along etc..

We have also recently spoken about 'in the event of my death' what we would do..(I also consider it seriously as I lost my mum when I was only 8yrs old unexpectedly and that is the age of oldest DD now) and its a shame because youngest dd just missed the cut off of 1.12.03 when she was born (sounds like she missed out on a job opportunity doesn't it, lol) But we see it as an annoyance as OH, in her eyes, is her daddy as he has been in her life for longer than her real dad!! :rolleyes:

I think I need to get a will written up etc.. as both dd's come back soo bored when they do see him (which is inconsistently) as he doesn't really do a lot with them and there are times dd2 cries for OH and doesn't want to leave him, they have an amazing attachment! DD1, however is older and he therefore does not PR of her!

Biologocial father said once 'if you died, the girls would come and live with me, not stay with your OH so then I could give up work and claim all the benefits single parents get nowadays, and it would save me a packet in child maintence too!!' :mad: What a joke!!!! I assured him for the short while I was on my own with DD's, I was certainly better off working at least 16 hrs per week and got WTC /CTC etc....

Right now I'm rambling but would be interested to know how you get on also!!