what happens to my fiancee's son if she dies?

Dilfred

Sorry it's rather morbid question, but something that came up between us the other night when talking about the future:

Background:
DS is 5yrs old,
Father has had no contact since 6months old except sometimes to drop card off at birthday
Mother likewise has no contact with the father and does not want any more contact
Father does not pay maintenance and in fact changes job regularly so that payments stop for him while they track him down again...
DS views me as his dad, is fully aware of his old father and that he is not anymore (his words not mine)

They both live in my (our house) now having moved out of their rented house a few months ago
fiancee and I are getting married in june this year
We expecting a baby in 6weeks

Came up as she was reading horror stories about mothers dieing during child birth (first was a Ceserian) and wants DS to stay with me.
This is also my wish, but not sure what the legalities are as I have no lawful connection I see with DS at this moment.

We have talked about adoption / name change by deedpoll etc for DS, but all of that requires a longer relationship etc. We have only been together for 1year.

Likewise does anything change when we get married and he effectively becomes my step son?

Any thoughts please?

mummy_Jay

Does the biological father have parental responsiblity (ie name on birth certificate)?

Has your lovely lady made a will? I think (but you will need to check) that she came make her wishes clear that she wishes you to the the boys guardian or another member of her family that is sympathic could be the childs guardian and would be willing to perform her wishes

Dilfred

mummy_Jay wrote: »

Does the biological father have parental responsiblity (ie name on birth certificate)?

Knew I forgot something, yes he is named on the certificate, and also it's his surname that son has which is even more difficult (especially when get married and fiancee takes my surname and baby has my surname too) but that is different issue.

mummy_Jay wrote: »

Has your lovely lady made a will? I think (but you will need to check) that she came make her wishes clear that she wishes you to the the boys guardian or another member of her family that is sympathic could be the childs guardian and would be willing to perform her wishes

No she has not, can you do that?
What about legality of Godparents as they are OH's sister and brother.

clairec79

Godparents have no legal standing and aren't automatically guardians if the parent(s) die

mummy_Jay

As far as I am aware god parent have no legal rights. A will seems the easiest way to resolve this for her.

I have heard that biological fathers can sign away any claim on the child but if this is possible it might open a whole can of worms on your both that you don't need with a little one on the way.

alleycat`

I assume you could adopt your step son when you get married?
I'm not sure if the biological father has to consent or not?
That would take care of most of the concerns as the name, responsibilities, etc would transfer to you.

floss2

Slightly different, but when I divorced, I made a will and nominated my brother & then-wife as guardians for my sons in the event of both their estranged parents dying, with their father's consent. my other two brothers were to be trustees of my estate, managing my life insurance payouts.

I suggest that you talk about making a will, and then make an appointment with either a registered will-maker or a solicitor to have one drawn up - HOWEVER any will made before your marriage would become invalid at that time. I would also suggest advising the father of the intentions, to save any later arguing.

borokat

I would tread carefully with getting the father to give up his rights - I know someone whose father did this and he was adopted by his stepfather. It was something he really struggled with in later life, despite having a good relationship with his stepfather.

teeni

You can apply for a parental responsibility order which would give you the same rights as bioloical father. as things stand bioloical father could simply arrive and take the child away.

You need to speak to a solicitor to ensure that your partners wishes can be adhered to and at least give you a fighting chance should the worst happen.

Social services child care team can also give you some basic advice but this is a leal matter if you want it sorted out properly.

shelley_crow

I was told by a solicitor that as my other half and I aren't married, my legal next of kin (my parents) could get custody of my son in the event of my death, even though OH has PR. I made a will specifically to prevent this, as I haven't seen them for over 6 years and have no desire to see them again.

In your girlfriend's instance, maybe the same would apply as the biological father has no interest in his child?

thorsoak

floss2 wrote: »

HOWEVER any will made before your marriage would become invalid at that time. I would also suggest advising the father of the intentions, to save any later arguing.

You can actually make a will "in anticipation of a marriage to XX" - but if I recall correctly, the marriage has to take place within six months of the date the will was attested.