am i wrong?

mumOf2wonderfulkids

Anthillmob wrote: »

i never speak to my uncle. we arent even close. christmas cards and thats it, might see him at a wedding but they very rare.

money is a big issue here. on top of debts and stuff i owe me mum £200. so if she offers to pay just to save her own face i think i might be livind as im owing her this cash, we are trying to get straight and pay everyone back.

its all complicated.

is your mum aware of the extent of your debts?

if you don't hear from your manager re councelling, i would suggest speaking to your gp, when i was diag'd with depression they offered me councelling as part of the treatment.


oh im sure lots of people do things at christmas do's we would rather forget,

my dad just this year threw a bucket full of water over his boss,,,, he wasnt best impressed haha

belfastgirl23

I think you'll regret not going. There's something about the tone of your post that makes me think you feel you should go but sort of can't face it. I do understand, I've suffered from anxiety and panic attacks myself in the past, but I always found that if I didn't do something because of fear it actually made me feel worse in the long run - it reinforced a feeling of not being able to cope. Maybe that isn't you though, but I'd say just have a think about it.

The other thing was though when I made an effort to do something, particularly if it was scary, I got a real feeling of euphoria afterwards, it did make it all worthwhile.

Hope you make the right decision for you and sorry you've been bothered with a troll!

Anthillmob

i thanked the troll lol

shellsuit

Their posts have vanished into thin air!

Bobby2

Anthillmob wrote: »

can you get bereavement support after 14/15 years?

im meant to be having counselling arranged via work after a manic work crimbo party where i got bladdered and said something i shouldnt on facebook about some colleagues [no one would have been any the wiser had it not been for little miss brown nose grassing me up big style]. but i accept my bad and had a chat with a manager about it and explained about the depression thing etc and he said he would get me counselling and thats the last ive heard.

ive emailed him but he hasnt replied and i feel too ashamed to go and ask him.

Anthillmob - you certainly can get bereavement support at any time. Some people, are unable to cope with the bereavement process and bottle up their feelings for a long time (I know, I am one of them!!) The support that is offered is mainly counselling, when you have to vocalise what it is that is troubling you, you have to deal with the issue and find ways of coming to terms with the way that you feel.

Work Christmas parties are dire, you end up having to pretend that so called "colleagues" are actually friends, I duck out of them by saying "if I have a drink, you will not like what I have to say, it is safer for all concerned if I stay at home" LOL. I don't want to spend anymore time than I have to with people from work - they are ok as colleagues - but they just don't make the grade to become friends!

grey_lady

There's something about depression isnt there that makes for a 'me, me, me' selfish attitude. Make the effort - especially as it seems to be important to your mum and she's kind enough to lend you money and even lend you money towards the fare. It's just one day and you owe your family that much.

shellsuit

grey_lady wrote: »

There's something about depression isnt there that makes for a 'me, me, me' selfish attitude. Make the effort - especially as it seems to be important to your mum and she's kind enough to lend you money and even lend you money towards the fare. It's just one day and you owe your family that much.

How would the OP know, she's only just been bloody diagnosed with depression! And how would you know what's going on inside her head?

Why does she owe her family that much? Why does she owe her family anything? (Apart from the money to Mum)

If she doesn't want to go, she doesn't have to go.

And Mum might have offered money towards the fare, but who is going to pay for the meal for her and her family, or are you yet another who doesn't read posts properly?




Honestly, there are some ignorant posts towards people lately! :mad:

beks

Anthillmob wrote: »

can you get bereavement support after 14/15 years?

.

Go to your GP, they can refer you - depression on its own must be very hard to cope with and bereavement can almost be like PTSD and hit you at any time (people are good at burying things but it generally comes out in the end). Sounds like counselling would be ideal for you as you have a specific issue which is getting to you.

Zazen999

Even without the depression and money troubles; you are an adult so if you don't wanna go, don't go!

aliasojo

belfastgirl23 wrote: »

. There's something about the tone of your post that makes me think you feel you should go but sort of can't face it.

The tone of Ant's post suggests to me she's feeling obligated more than anything else and that's making her a wee bit resentful, especially because of her Mum's reaction.

Ant you have to weigh things up with a level head, but it's clear that you don't want to go...so don't go. No point in going then spending the next wee while regretting it especially if you end up even more financially strapped.

If it was a closer relative then that might be different, sometimes you just have to make the effort but in this case you're not close to the old gent and you shouldn't feel wound up about it.

As suggested above, I'd send a nice card with some pics of the kids/family and leave it at that.