Friends of the opposite sex

loftus

Proc wrote: »

Well Loftus, maybe I can't speak for every man in the world. But I know I can speak for pretty much every man I've got to know to a reasonable level. I don't know a single person who wastes his time texting, calling, meeting, going out with, having mundane conversations with members of the opposite sex if he doesn't want to get his end away.

There is a difference beteen friends and acquantences (spelling of course). I can go over to a friend's house for coffee. I can sleep the night on a friend's couch. I can go on holiday with my best mate. I can go out with a friend and get hammered and not remember any of it the next day. I can lend a friend money, we can visit [STRIKE]brothels[/STRIKE] museums together. Most women would not be comfortable letting their partner have this level of closeness with a female.

Why? Because they know that he probably wants to, or already is, smashing her pie in.

Look, I understand the opinion isn't ideal in your simplistic mind, but that's the way it is.

Hang on. Yes I can go to have coffee with a female friend, I've even been out with a female friend and got hammered. Didn't want to sleep with them. I've been for a weekend away with a female friend and not felt the need to try and sleep with her. It isn't simplistic, it's being friends and nothing more. The fact that I have done it proves it's possible and I don't think I'm unique.

Glen0000

loftus wrote: »

Strangely enough I don't believe I am the only man in the entire world who doesn't see every passing woman or every female friend or work colleague as a potential shag, so I reckon there are several men I could share this sentiment with who wouldn't jump to the conclusions that you do.

You are quite right. Gay men do not think this way about women, but they do think that way about other men.

If any straight or bi man does not have this basic sexual response towards women, well he has a medical problem. It is nature.

You are probably one of the same blokes who doesn't like !!!!!! or wan*ing! :whistle:

Glen0000

venus1978 wrote: »

Listen I have heard Mens honest opinions from my closest male friends. I am not playing down anything.

They are trying to butter you up to get you into bed. It is called male bullsh*t, telling you what you want to hear.

belfastgirl23

I have a few male friends but it's generally that we have something in common - work together, share some kind of interest. It's not just general 'hanging out' type of friendship if that makes sense. I have to say I've never pictured any of them with their clothes off, in fact they are so definitely not my type that it's totally out of the bounds of thinking about. Actually it would be probably harder to be friends with a man I was attracted to.

DH has a few female workmates/friends in the same way. I have to admit that sometimes that makes me uncomfortable but I REFUSE to be the kind of person who can't allow their OH to have friends of the opposite gender. It isn't that I've ever had reason to doubt him, just that sometimes it's easy to let negative emotions take over. So I give myself a talking to!

Glen you're depressing me a lot by the way - I'm hoping you're just generalising your own experience. Is it that men can't help but find any woman attractive? Or that they aren't interested in talking to women they don't find attractive? Gawd maybe I don't want to hear the answer to this one

loftus

Glen0000 wrote: »

You are quite right. Gay men do not think this way about women, but they do think that way about other men.

If any straight or bi man does not have this basic sexual response towards women, well he has a medical problem. It is nature.

You are probably one of the same blokes who doesn't like !!!!!! or wan*ing! :whistle:

Gay - bit stereotypical don't you think?

!!!!!! and wan*ing - nope no problem with either!

Brallaqueen

What's wrong with being a sap? If a sap is a man who thinks with bits above his waistline and can have multi-layered relationships, then I know several saps and you know, they would be proud of who they were despite your nasty name calling.

I think we need to reclaim the word sap and turn it into a compliment

Glen0000

belfastgirl23 wrote: »

Glen you're depressing me a lot by the way - I'm hoping you're just generalising your own experience. Is it that men can't help but find any woman attractive? Or that they aren't interested in talking to women they don't find attractive? Gawd maybe I don't want to hear the answer to this one

A bit of both, but mainly that men do not take time out of their ordinary day to make time for women they don't find attractive.

Proc

Brallaqueen wrote: »

What's wrong with being a sap? If a sap is a man who thinks with bits above his waistline and can have multi-layered relationships, then I know several saps and you know, they would be proud of who they were despite your nasty name calling.

I think we need to reclaim the word sap and turn it into a compliment

Nothing wrong with it. This thread is just about men, in general, and their feelings towards women.

venus1978

loftus wrote: »

So because I don't fall into your narrow definition of what real men do I must be gay!

At the time I didn't have a girlfriend, but the current one knows some of my female friends and is quite happy for me to have them.

Loftus I think its time to let the wind up merchants go, they'll be loving the storm they're causing on here, don't play their game as tempting as it is.

loftus

In a relationship no you're right, I probably wouldn't go away just with my friend because it wouldn't be fair to my girlfriend but that still doesn't mean that I want to sleep with my friend. It's just out of respect for my relationship. My girlfriend is also friends with my friend, we socialise in the same circle, there's no insecurity there.
And before you come back with the argument that if there's nothing to worry about why wouldn't I do it, it's simple - people behave differently inside and out of relationships - nothing more sinister than that.