Friends of the opposite sex

Person_one

Eastie's thread is already way too long and involved but there was an interesting point right at the end of it, how do people feel in general about their partner's having friends of the opposite sex? Do you think its possible for people of opposite gemders to be just friends and never think of anything else? Etc etc.

My OH has more female than male friends, including his ex who introduced us! I don't feel threatened by them because the way I see it he had plenty of chances to be with any of them but he isn't. Also there is nothing at all secretive about the friendships, we socialise with them as a couple and they have all been great about welcoming me and being friendly.

Gingham_Ribbon

Everyone's different. I don't think it matters whether you decide as a couple to keep your friendships to your own gender or to have a wider circle of friends as long as you're both in agreement and the trust isn't broken.

**confuzzled**

As gingham said it everyones different IME it depends on the person/people. For example DH has lots of friends both female & male, not a problem for me & vice versa, however I do tend to favour my female friends as guys just don't gossip the same:p

However, BIL has a friend who he has 'history' with(dated 10yrs ago) and because of their closeness it has sabotaged all of their relationships with other people(someone is always jealous!) and although they say they don't want to be together they do more public displays of affection than any couple I've ever met:rolleyes:

kindofagilr

I dont know, this is gonna sound awful, but we had a big group of friends, well there was about 5 girls and 6 boys and we were all friends together, none of us had partners and stuff happened between a lot of the friends lol

BUT now I am in a loving relationship there is no way that anything would happen with the friends (it was just a case of "friends and benefits if you like"

So no I wouldnt have a problem with OH having "girl"friends

DKLS

I dont have a problem with it, the majority of my Ohs friends are male, and most of mine are female.

No jealousy issues or doubt, I trust her implicitly.

angelicmary85

I just wish my OH would get some friends :rotfl:

Glen0000

I don't have female friends. As a man I have never wanted to be friends with a woman unless I wanted to bed her. When talking to male friends it seems that this is the norm. As I am married now I don't have female friends as I have no desire for the company of women and the only reason I had women friends in the past was to try and get them into bed.

My wife in the past has had male friends, but every single one has tried it on with her at some point, even the married ones. Just proves my point really. She now only has female friends and one gay male friend.

SugarSpun

I'm very close friends with my ex - after ten years together we decided that we were a rubbish couple but very good friends, and that's how it's remained. It was the most amicable breakup I've ever heard of, and he commented that he wished all his breakups were that friendly :rotfl: Husband is fine with it, has met him and knows that there's just nothing there.

My husband is also friends with his most recent ex. He picked her up from the hospital after she had outpatient surgery and has been great about making sure she's ok since she can't move her shoulder too well. I had a bit of a strop on Husband's birthday when his ex wrote a drunken Facebook message on his wall calling him "my pretty baby" and saying how wonderful he was - but he didn't reciprocate and knew better than to respond. Since she now has a new boyfriend (we've both met the new boyfriend) she's much happier and no longer getting into the drunken-maudlin state of nostalgia.

We both have other friends of varying degrees of closeness in both sexes - it isn't a problem at all. But if Husband's friends were sending him messages reminiscing about the time they did whatever saucy thing they did together I would be furious, and if he reciprocated, saying there would be hell to pay doesn't even begin to cover it.

A guy I had an, um, fling with was trying to get me to cyber-reminisce (well, cyber-something :rotfl:) with him on the demon Facebook. I ended the conversation, told Husband it had happened and stopped IMing with the guy. It's just basic courtesy to the man I chose to spend the rest of my life with.

shiningdove

Growing up i had male friends and it turned out that they wanted to be friends in a different way. Its happened with all of my male friends in the past - either i choose them wrong or thats the way it is.

Glen0000

shiningdove wrote: »

Growing up i had male friends and it turned out that they wanted to be friends in a different way. Its happened with all of my male friends in the past - either i choose them wrong or thats the way it is.

Don't blame yourself. It isn't you, that is just the way men are built. The ones that say "I am not like that" are usually the worst offenders too.

Dave101t

i would trust my wife with male friends, but i wouldnt like it.
luckily ive met all her male friends and they are all nice with no ulterior motives, of course being married helps.
as for me, i have no female friends apart from her, because i never meet them and im never interested in meeting them. the ones i run into are nice enough but i dont have time for anyone new.