Not invited ;-(

fernliebee

If it was me, I would send them an e-mail, polite but to the point, saying I'm sorry that it has come to this, and that it is a shame they have only heard one side of the story, but that you feel completely justified in your reactions to couple B given they had broken your property. I would then wish them a nice life and good bye!

Keep in contact with your other friends, and if you feel like attending other group events don't let them put you off, like you did before just be civil to the ones who have been rude to you.

I wouldn't rush out to tell the others in the group how A and B have treated you, but at the same time I would say if asked, why you were not invited to their party.

The cake is a separate issue, and you did it as they were friends at the time, you can't keep a tally of all you do for someone then present them with a bill when you are no longer friends! If only it worked like this

They sound like unworthy friends, as I could NOT accept a gift of that scale from a friend and then spend £20,000 on a wedding! We spent under £2,000 on ours and my friend did the flowers (I paid for actual flowers, she arranged them as her gift to us) we appreciated it so much, as my bouquet is now dried and it means even more to me as she did it so nicely!

thorsoak

ben500 wrote: »

Better still phone them up and tell them you made a cake for them but as your not invited you fed it to the dog. Send them a picture of the most expensive and extravagant cake you've ever produced along with another of your dog with it's face covered in icing and tail wagging.

NO NO NO!!!! Tell them you've sold it for £xxx+ amount - so thanks for not inviting us - we've made a profit instead!

lilmissshorty

Thank you all so very much...its really helped me - I was very upset last night but feeling in a much brighter mood (might have been the bottle of wine I enhaled). Partner is saying better to know what people think and we can move on - instead of camping we've decided to do our first festival this year...wooohooo.

I really don't have the energy to tell the others about all in the ins and outs - at least two other couples (out of the group of 15 people) have been rather distant lately but had put it down to pressures of work and all that but think they'll be the next to cut ties.

Pity there generally isn't a need for friendship breakdown cakes like the increase in divorce cakes! LOL

chesky369

You're actually in a grieving process - because you've actually lost what you thought were real friends - and you have to go through this, just like they've died, which they have for you. Sounds like you've taken a really positive step and I do hope you enjoy the festival.

elona

Think positive!

You've identified a gap in the market - a "Good Riddance" cake;)

SugarSpun

I'd send them an email and let them know how disappointed you are - not that you're missing the party, but that they'd cut you out based on the hearsay of other people - especially given the circumstances.

And when other friends ask, simply say, Well, Couple A lives much closer to Couple B than we do, so they felt they needed to take sides after Couple B trashed our bathroom that time. Shame really because nobody else did... and when people express surprise that the bathroom was trashed, just say, Well, we didn't want to make a big deal about it - so we're surprised Couple A felt they needed to get involved.

Finally, make a wonderful plan for yourselves for the day in question and think yourselves well rid of both couples. They sound petty and horrible.

blackcoffee

It would be very interesting if Couple A or couple B (you said in original post about 1 being registerd on forums ? would read this, and realise how shallow they have been in taking one side of story, when obviously you have been wrong done.

I think sometimes we outgrow friends and I think you have these. I realy wouldnt worry. couple Al and couple B are obviously very close toe ach other, so if the feel they have to do this, they deserve each other.

We have been in a similar situation, with us witnessing couple B husband having an affair, us being stuck in the middle, speaking with couple A as we were so hurt, about lies involving us, husband A using my husband as cover etc, and couple A saying we were wrong, infact they made us look very foolish, publicly !! ! couple A & B both became solid, solid friends and then couple A found out the truth, we had already packed our bags and had long gone !!! xxxx

clairehi

Its tit for tat - you didnt invite Couple B to your engagement so they have leant on Couple A to not invite you to the 40th.

Something similar happened to us with ex Uni friends a few years ago.Big bust up over arrangements for a meet-up/my OHs 30th. At the time I was gutted but looking back we were all growing apart anyway. We are now only in Xmas card/ v occasional contact with them but have new friends etc.

If you are 100s miles away and only seeing each other occasionally, maybe its time to focus on friendships/relationships with friends nearer at hand. If these are friends for life, then your friendship will survive this rocky patch anyway. People do sh*tty things sometimes, it doesnt mean they are bad through and through. Perhaps it will all blow ove but I would take a step back in the meantime and see what happens.

PS Whatever you do, DONT send emails/letters to them about it - stick to phone calls or face to face. things can get totally blown out of proportion when emails start flying around.