Not invited ;-(

mikey72

Maybe you've just all changed since uni.

lilmissshorty

LOL..do like the doggy cake suggestion...but think its true that we've all moved on since University.

My partner is just saying to live and let live, don't go into all the details for people as it'll just stress me further and I've enough on my plate at the moment. As he says friend may come and go, but true friends are the one's we'd call if there was an emergency and to be honest there is only one of them that falls into this category. We live hundreds of miles from our friends so unfortunately its either phone, text or facebook...or at one of the arranged meets, whereas the two couples in question live within 30 miles of each other...so its perfectly reasonable that they socialise more frequently and are more friendly.

Youdontseeme

So you have all moved on, they are still being pretty pathetic!

I would take the higher ground and actually make and send the cake! Let them see that you are the better people and don't need to stoop the same petty level as they have.

Although there is a side of me is thinking you could always lace it with some laxatives or something :A

ceebeeby

D'ya know ... they don't sound like they're worth the hassle of being mean and please don't lower yourself to doing something spiteful just for the sake of it.

Don't send them a cake
Don't send them an invoice
You gave the first cake as a gift .... leave it at that.
Don't brag about better offers etc.

My advice would be send a very polite birthday card, suggesting (if you wish) that you hope you can meet again soon. And leave it at that.

X

DevilsAdvocate1

Something similar happened to me a couple of years ago. I didn't want to speak to my friend about it, but in the end I felt so hurt I did speak to her. She sounded shocked that I was bothered, but when I explained why I was so bothered she apologised (basically a group of us met once every week. All of the other members of the group were invited to a party and I wasn't - I later found out none of the group ever invited me. It was the accepted thing. I was invited to weekends away and general nights out. Just not to parties.).

I continued meeting once a week for a while, but I just couldn't feel the same. Though they all tried to reinforce the friendship, I just couldn't. After a few months I stopped going. They did try to get in touch with me, to be fair to them, but I didn't respond.

I think its hard to retain a friendship when something like this happens. I felt unwanted and an outsider whereas before I found out about the party I thought I was one of the gang.

D.

SUESMITH_2

take the moral high ground - you're worth so much more, don't stoop to their level. im a believer in what goes around comes around

Sunshine12

Other people have probably already said this but yes, contact them and tell them you are concerned that you have in some way offended them but completely at a loss as to how you could have done. If they say its because of situation with the other couple then they are not friends worth having. I hope its just a misunderstanding although I suspect its the wife of couple B manipulating things. If Couple A cant see that you are good friends (and also proved that by doing them a favour while they were strapped for cash - not!!) then tell them to shove it. Hope it works out for you. There is nothing worse than situations like these. Its all so childish but still has the ability to make you feel like sh*t. Really hope you dont get upset by it all, its not worth it. x p.s could the "not doing any more freebies" bit have been a factor or doesnt that come into it?

minnie123

They sound horrible - cut them out of your life. I had a similar situation it really hurts - but you have done nothing wrong and it is their problem.

nuttywoman

If i was you , i`d just forget them, the couple will end up doing something like they did at your house and because no one chose to listen to both sides as far as i can see they`ll deserve it !!
Even if they do get in touch in the future your friendship will never be the same cos of the hurt they caused you.
Don`t even bother sending a card .

valos_mummy

Couple A should have told Couple B to grow the hell up and get over themselves TBH. I have 2 friends who don't get on at all (thankfully they live miles apart), but if I had a party I'd invite them both. If one of them declines because of the other that's their call, but at least I'd have given them the choice. Not inviting you was the cowards way out.

I'd take the mega high road, send them a cake (nothing overly OTT) and a note saying "we'd assumed not being invited was just an oversight, we had made you this cake, so please accept it with our best wishes and friendship". Give them a call after the party, ask if they enjoyed it. If they have any sort of decency they'll now be eating humble pie. If not, then don't hesitate to tell them exactly what Couple B did to your property, hang up, call all the other couples and tell them too, then sit back and think of all the lovely mayhem you've caused for Couple B!!!