depression

Tiff_2

Miroslav wrote:

I've literally just got in. Went for a walk to the Cinema to make sure the internet times were right
I hope she'll come to me, I just don't think she believes I really want to go. In her mind, why would I? Everyone else has let her down and hurt her, so why wouldn't I be the same?
IMHO, the best you can do hun is relax. It may make her feel safer and she'll relax too. Only time can prove to her your intentions hun. You are giving yourself a very negative self-esteem messages and as she's so sensitive, she may be picking up on your edginess angel.

She has made plans for tomorrow, I just wanted to meet her earlier for a
tea/coffee, but she doesn't it seems.
Well, that's ok hun. She's got to do it how she needs to. I know you want to support her miro, but sometimes that means accepting that she needs to do some things her own way. Don't take it as a personal thing hun.

She did text me out of the blue again, saying she'll pay, and i'll respond shortly.I'm just hurt by her acceptance, then subsequent backing off. I don't think she realises this is big for me too.
Don't be hurt hun. It's just how she can deal with it. Many people with mental ill health make plans in advance that they just can't face on the day. I've done it myself.
I know it's big for you too hun. Try and open up your world a little wider angel, maybe with new activities or being around new people, to relieve yourself of the stress of waiting and wondering and worrying about s so constantly. It'll lift your self-esteem. Don't make your whole life depend on just one person angel - it's not fair if they can't live up to it.
You're a good person hun but you have to accept that s has got a lot of problems bless her. I don't think it's ever going to be about how good you are or aren't in this relationship hun - it's going to be about how s copes with life and her problems and patience and time. Take care angel.

Much Love,
Tiff xxx

Tiff_2

Hi saz, rose, gilly, blinky, miro, ethel, elona, gemini, cc, coggi, mac, razor, fg, betty, flis, bunnie, kronas, beer and gang.:grouphug:
Just to say sorry for not getting round to some posts -and to your pm rose - it's a hectic time right now and have had a few things on my mind. So if I haven't replied yet, I will as soon as I can. Don't say I didn't warn you!
I haven't forgotten you.;)
Hoping you're all well guys and thinking of you.:T
Much Love,
Tiff xxx

EthelBloggs

Hiya everyone

Today scores pretty high on the crap-o-meter.
On the plus side - MIND have been excellent, given me lots of contacts and ppl to try and also referrals to things for my son.

On the negative - Social services no help
PCTs no help
b/f being a total !!!!!!.. worse than usual
awful lot of ppl not returning calls etc


Im just so tired and stressed with everything. My doctor is closed on thursdays so no help there, I've got an apptment with him on monday anyway. I just feel as tho im on the brink of tears all the time, and i can't let it out cos i dont want to upset the kids, but im really wondering how much more I can take.


On top of that i'm back at uni on monday and i'm nowhere near ready for that.. got a load of essays due in which i've barely had time to start on

Miroslav

Tiff wrote:

[/COLOR]
Much Love,
Tiff xxx

Thanks for your post.......I will reply later/soon. Flatmate has text me saying 'S' has said she DOES have feelings for me, and we really need to talk ASAP.

At least she does have feelings for me, even if it will be tough and i'll be on here alot when the bad times happen - I'm just pleased she does have feelings for me and she wasn't pretending.

blinky

EthelBloggs wrote:

Hiya everyone

Today scores pretty high on the crap-o-meter.
On the plus side - MIND have been excellent, given me lots of contacts and ppl to try and also referrals to things for my son.

On the negative - Social services no help
PCTs no help
b/f being a total !!!!!!.. worse than usual
awful lot of ppl not returning calls etc


Im just so tired and stressed with everything. My doctor is closed on thursdays so no help there, I've got an apptment with him on monday anyway. I just feel as tho im on the brink of tears all the time, and i can't let it out cos i dont want to upset the kids, but im really wondering how much more I can take.


On top of that i'm back at uni on monday and i'm nowhere near ready for that.. got a load of essays due in which i've barely had time to start on

Hun,

Miroslav

Tiff wrote:

IMHO, the best you can do hun is relax. It may make her feel safer and she'll relax too. Only time can prove to her your intentions hun. You are giving yourself a very negative self-esteem messages and as she's so sensitive, she may be picking up on your edginess angel.

Well, that's ok hun. She's got to do it how she needs to. I know you want to support her miro, but sometimes that means accepting that she needs to do some things her own way. Don't take it as a personal thing hun.

Don't be hurt hun. It's just how she can deal with it. Many people with mental ill health make plans in advance that they just can't face on the day. I've done it myself.
I know it's big for you too hun. Try and open up your world a little wider angel, maybe with new activities or being around new people, to relieve yourself of the stress of waiting and wondering and worrying about s so constantly. It'll lift your self-esteem. Don't make your whole life depend on just one person angel - it's not fair if they can't live up to it.
You're a good person hun but you have to accept that s has got a lot of problems bless her. I don't think it's ever going to be about how good you are or aren't in this relationship hun - it's going to be about how s copes with life and her problems and patience and time. Take care angel.
Much Love,
Tiff xxx

Well, she spoke to flatmate earlier and it's pretty good.

She DOES have feelings for me, she just doesn't know how to let anyone in, but she's willing to get to know me more, go out on dates - in an old fashioned courting kind of way (Hold my hand, cuddle etc) which is what I wanted anyway.

She'll talk to me tomorrow after the Cinema, although i'm guessing, she'll not, as she tends to say she'll do things but pull out.

She told flatmate she has feelings for me, is scared, thinks she is not good enough for me, doesn't feel it's fair to ask me to take on her mental health problems, doesn't feel it's fair to ask me to wait for her, thinks I will find someone else etc etc (Loads more I will suddenly remember later!) She said a few times today that she was gutted when she thought I was going to tell her i'd found someone else and apparently when flatmate was talking about how good we were together and how we could cuddle and hold hands she had a big smile on her face


Anyway, she really does want to be with me. She thought I was after sex, although I pointed out on Sunday it wasn't the case. Sex seems to be a massive insecurity for her - I know why, because even though she's sexy, guys have had a go at her before for not being as good as they had wanted, and it's damaged her. They've sexually, physically, emotionally and any other way abused her, and she can't understand why i'm different. She's excited, tempted, but !!!!!! scared But so am I! I don't want sex either!

She loves the way I am a gentleman, she loves how I spoil her - small cheap gifts that are more like gestures - nice cards, keyrings etc (and wants to spoil me back! )

Everyone has hurt her and she expects me too.

At least I know a chance is there, something to really fight for - even if tomorrow she goes cold on me, she DOES have feelings for me.

The way I think, I never expected her to like me - it just doesn't happen to me. Girls see my body, looks (:o!) height etc and it's kinda tedious. 'S' has got to know me and likes me emotionally - that's all I want. Girls asking me if my :eek: (cough - not hair) is as long as my body, really does get tiring.

It's going to be a really rocky road, and i'm gonna need all you fabulous ladies and gentleman to keep me going, but I have a chance with a young lady I really think is worth it.

I've no doubt i'll be on here tomorrow night depressed, but at least this time, I really do know she likes me and wants to be with me, even if her demons stop her.

geminilady

Miroslav wrote:

Well, she spoke to flatmate earlier and it's pretty good.

She DOES have feelings for me, she just doesn't know how to let anyone in, but she's willing to get to know me more, go out on dates - in an old fashioned courting kind of way (Hold my hand, cuddle etc) which is what I wanted anyway.

She'll talk to me tomorrow after the Cinema, although i'm guessing, she'll not, as she tends to say she'll do things but pull out.

She told flatmate she has feelings for me, is scared, thinks she is not good enough for me, doesn't feel it's fair to ask me to take on her mental health problems, doesn't feel it's fair to ask me to wait for her, thinks I will find someone else etc etc (Loads more I will suddenly remember later!) She said a few times today that she was gutted when she thought I was going to tell her i'd found someone else and apparently when flatmate was talking about how good we were together and how we could cuddle and hold hands she had a big smile on her face


Anyway, she really does want to be with me. She thought I was after sex, although I pointed out on Sunday it wasn't the case. Sex seems to be a massive insecurity for her - I know why, because even though she's sexy, guys have had a go at her before for not being as good as they had wanted, and it's damaged her. They've sexually, physically, emotionally and any other way abused her, and she can't understand why i'm different. She's excited, tempted, but !!!!!! scared But so am I! I don't want sex either!

She loves the way I am a gentleman, she loves how I spoil her - small cheap gifts that are more like gestures - nice cards, keyrings etc (and wants to spoil me back! )

Everyone has hurt her and she expects me too.

At least I know a chance is there, something to really fight for - even if tomorrow she goes cold on me, she DOES have feelings for me.

The way I think, I never expected her to like me - it just doesn't happen to me. Girls see my body, looks (:o!) height etc and it's kinda tedious. 'S' has got to know me and likes me emotionally - that's all I want. Girls asking me if my :eek: (cough - not hair) is as long as my body, really does get tiring.

It's going to be a really rocky road, and i'm gonna need all you fabulous ladies and gentleman to keep me going, but I have a chance with a young lady I really think is worth it.

I've no doubt i'll be on here tomorrow night depressed, but at least this time, I really do know she likes me and wants to be with me, even if her demons stop her.

Hi Miro,I am so pleased for you its great to here good news on here and i hope tomorrow goes well.You know there are going to be lots of ups and downs lol,wrong choice of words:D but if you keep in mind what you have just said it will help "S" DOES like you and you are both so lucky,to often there is one who likes and one who doesn't and that hurts.Looking forward to hearing how tomorrow goes with fingers crossed for you.

Miroslav

geminilady wrote:

Hi Miro,I am so pleased for you its great to here good news on here and i hope tomorrow goes well.You know there are going to be lots of ups and downs lol,wrong choice of words:D but if you keep in mind what you have just said it will help "S" DOES like you and you are both so lucky,to often there is one who likes and one who doesn't and that hurts.Looking forward to hearing how tomorrow goes with fingers crossed for you.

I'm expecting tomorrow to go wrong. She will get scared and run, she may even cancel as she may fear talking to me, but you can all remind me of the fact she does like me

I've said to her, don't waste this chance. I hope she takes this chance and we will take it slowly.

There will be no up and down yet

Little_Miss_Winner

Hi Miroslav,

Have been following your threads with regards to 'S', and would just like to wish you all the best for tomorrow.
You sound like a lovely person, and I'm sure 'S' knows this, and is probably just as nervous as you... Take it slowly, have fun, and try to be as calm as you can!

Good Luck
pot
x

Miroslav

potogold wrote:

Hi Miroslav,

Have been following your threads with regards to 'S', and would just like to wish you all the best for tomorrow.
You sound like a lovely person, and I'm sure 'S' knows this, and is probably just as nervous as you... Take it slowly, have fun, and try to be as calm as you can!

Good Luck
pot
x

Thanks 'pot' your post is much appreciated.

'S' does know I am a gentleman, and she enjoys it as much as I enjoy treating her like a lady.

Will try to not let the nerves spoil the fun, although i'm gonna be spraying my deodorant quite a few times tomorrow