depression

Sazbo

geminilady wrote:

Yes it is just another night,never liked new year anyway older son has gone out so its just me and the younger one.Would be nice to hear from"N" maybe after midnight and maybe not lol.

Hi gemini - did you have a good evening in the end? Did you hear from N? Sx

Sazbo

CC hun - hope everything's ok with you. I saw that Hogmanay was cancelled, hope you didn't have the power problems that were reported in the news. Thinking of you. Sazxxx

Miroslav

Sazbo wrote:

It's more a tendency of your interpretations being 'all or nothing', rather than what you're looking for. For example, it may not be the case at all that she has 'changed her mind' - as I say, feeling hurt tends to polarise our reactions to situations, so to protect ourselves we say "well this must mean x or y" - y'know hun? That may be how you're seeing it right now because things didn't go entirely the way you anticiapted? Just my thoughts. Don't forget you've written her off before and now it's 2007 and she's still in your life:) As Blinky says it's more a question of her blowing hot and cold, and you needing to provide encouragement, rather than this being a final "It's over", from her. IMHO - very far from it. Sazxx

I know what you mean, I just get hurt easily. Judging by her past reactions, she won't want to see me for a week or two, which is a shame, as she finally accepted that I would go with her to see her mother's grave on Friday. Now she says she may not want to go with me.

She did hug me and kiss me on the cheek as I said goodbye earlier and when I left her place, she opened her window and started shouting 'bye' and 'take care' which she never does, but she just didn't want to talk about 'us' She kept on moaning about other things though and then said "If I move away, you will come and see me won't you"

Other people think she's testing me and manipulating me.

I spoke to a samaritan earlier, and I text her, as I know she can't reply, having no credit.

I said I'd wait for her forever and that I don't want to waste any more of my life, and 2007 is going to be a year where I move on, and that I hope she's take the chance and be with me, telling her that her mental health problems I accept, and reminded her, that my flatmate, who's advice she values, thinks we would make a great couple.

I text in the heat of the moment, so it was from the heart

I will wait for her, i've got to somehow try to learn how to deal with things in the meantime.

I've got a picture on my phone from when we were happy last night. I had my arm around her, she had her hand on my thigh.

I may be ugly, but we look good together Even I know that!

Miroslav

arrrgghhh!

Flatmate is home and says she can't see 'S' on Thursday now

Sazbo

Miroslav wrote:

I know what you mean, I just get hurt easily. Judging by her past reactions, she won't want to see me for a week or two, which is a shame, as she finally accepted that I would go with her to see her mother's grave on Friday. Now she says she may not want to go with me.

She did hug me and kiss me on the cheek as I said goodbye earlier and when I left her place, she opened her window and started shouting 'bye' and 'take care' which she never does, but she just didn't want to talk about 'us' She kept on moaning about other things though and then said "If I move away, you will come and see me won't you"

Other people think she's testing me and manipulating me.

I spoke to a samaritan earlier, and I text her, as I know she can't reply, having no credit.

I said I'd wait for her forever and that I don't want to waste any more of my life, and 2007 is going to be a year where I move on, and that I hope she's take the chance and be with me, telling her that her mental health problems I accept, and reminded her, that my flatmate, who's advice she values, thinks we would make a great couple.

I text in the heat of the moment, so it was from the heart

I will wait for her, i've got to somehow try to learn how to deal with things in the meantime.

I've got a picture on my phone from when we were happy last night. I had my arm around her, she had her hand on my thigh.

I may be ugly, but we look good together Even I know that!

Well I think there are a lot of positives in what you've just written. I reckon it will help if you foreground your own hurts in reactions to things, as it will lend perspective and give a good indication of maybe why situations push buttons the way they do.

Maybe S is 'testing' you - but in the sense that she wants to be sure of your feelings. Your relatonship is probably as surprising to her as it is to you - esp. after all the people that have used her. She doesn't want to get hurt again - and even though it's obvious to you that you'll treat her right, she needs to be sure of that for herself and that, unfortunately, will take as long as it takes...

I'm also heartened that you see 2007 as the year you will move on. That surely means, Miro hun, that you've made a lot of progress, that you're feeling stronger and that's brilliant! :T Keep that in mind and hopefully everything else will fall into place. You deserve it. Szxx

geminilady

Sazbo wrote:

Hi gemini - did you have a good evening in the end? Did you hear from N? Sx

Hi,The evening was ok and yes i did hear from N was quite suprised really thought he would be busy with his other family.I can se so many similaraties between Miro's friendship with S and mine with N but at the moment i think miro is doing a lot better than me.N has had big mental health problems in the past and is on life long medication for what he said was a chemical imbalance in his brain.It must keep him stable as he holds down a very responible job but he is the hardest man i ever met to get close to,mainly i think through his inability to trust.He has built a wall around himself and to use his own words"nobody gets in" but i have lots of patiance and am hoping one day he will trust me.I find it especialy hard as i am the complete opposite,very open and to me nothing is a taboo subject but almost every question i ask is answered with y? very frustrating for me as how else can you get to know someone unless you ask questions?.I learnt a lot through the poems he posted when we first met online as they were a sort of autobiography and he did tell me quite a lot at the beginning maybe because he was vunrable at the time but i think he regrets it now.I know i would never hurt him,i am always the one that gets hurt i just need him to know it.

blinky

Miro

You have not taken over the thread, you need support at the moment and you are welcome to post here and get the support you need.

I don't think your relationship with 'S' is over by a long way. I really believe she's is just scared and is trying to protect herself (and you).

From everything you have posted this relationship isn't going to be plain sailing. She does need time and patience. You need to learn to cope when 'S' is backing off.

Sazbo

geminilady wrote:

Hi,The evening was ok and yes i did hear from N was quite suprised really thought he would be busy with his other family.I can se so many similaraties between Miro's friendship with S and mine with N but at the moment i think miro is doing a lot better than me.N has had big mental health problems in the past and is on life long medication for what he said was a chemical imbalance in his brain.It must keep him stable as he holds down a very responible job but he is the hardest man i ever met to get close to,mainly i think through his inability to trust.He has built a wall around himself and to use his own words"nobody gets in" but i have lots of patiance and am hoping one day he will trust me.I find it especialy hard as i am the complete opposite,very open and to me nothing is a taboo subject but almost every question i ask is answered with y? very frustrating for me as how else can you get to know someone unless you ask questions?.I learnt a lot through the poems he posted when we first met online as they were a sort of autobiography and he did tell me quite a lot at the beginning maybe because he was vunrable at the time but i think he regrets it now.I know i would never hurt him,i am always the one that gets hurt i just need him to know it.

Must say you've been so very patient with him, which is to your credit, GL. Although every relationship is different, there are some similarities with Miro/S in the sense that it sounds like N is testing you. I am far less patient than you:rolleyes::), I tend to need a lot of reassurance in relationships - down to my insecurities, I guess. But hopefully N will realise in time that your intentions are honest - that you don't want to hurt him and that you're only asking questions because you are genuinely wanting to get to know him. I do hope 2007 brings some resolution from you GL. Love, Sx

rose07

anyone around?

xxx

stenny_2

rose07 wrote:

anyone around?

xxx

Hiya rose, how are you my dear?