depression

blinky

Miroslav wrote:

5 days :j :j :j :j

Then a whole week? :j :j :j :j Enjoy

I have done everything but take my clothes off and have my wicked way with her, which is what she wanted day 1.

I don't feel good. Rather depressed and wondering, is it me?, am I destined to be alone forever?

Worst comes to the worst, i'll go up there tonight, I mean, she'll have to have her Xmas present tonight, the big teddy..........don't know anyone else who'd want a bear...........maybe I can find a nice lady in the street and say "Merry Xmas"

I have no idea what I am going to do. I've had a few ladies make nice comments to me, but I don't want them

My feelings for 'S' are still unknown. I mean if the only way to keep her, was to give her what she wants, which is sex, what do I do? I don't want that yet, I don't know. I've been the perfect gentleman to her, done all I can, yet i'm the one getting hurt and pushed away.

Oh well, another Miro failure to add to the big book.

I'm off to have a bath, I promise not to drown myself, i've got a trip to make tonight with a bear to someone who possibly doesn't deserve it...

But then, as Ethel's Sig says, "Love me when I deserve it least, because it's then I need it most"

I agree with you that there is a lot more to a relationship than s*x. The emotional side and being with the person is much more important. Any physical stuff is a bonus.

It maybe from what you've said that 'S' isn't used to this and her previous relationships have been physically based. Maybe she thinks that's all men want but we know it's not. Maybe we are a rarity these days?

You have put a lot of effort in with 'S' and if it appears that she isn't willing then it's time just to stay as good friends and move on. You are clearly a handsome fellow given the number of ladies who have been interested.

I have to say meeting someone is partly down to luck and serendipity. You could have dates with lots of people and never find someone special. On the other hand you could have one and hit it off straight away. Life's funny like that.

Hope this isn't too harsh.

You need to learn to love yourself. I find it incredibly difficult to love myself too.

Sazbo

Miroslav wrote:

is it me?, am I destined to be alone forever?

- no, and no :) x

Miroslav

blinky wrote:

I agree with you that there is a lot more to a relationship than s*x. The emotional side and being with the person is much more important. Any physical stuff is a bonus.

It maybe from what you've said that 'S' isn't used to this and her previous relationships have been physically based. Maybe she thinks that's all men want but we know it's not. Maybe we are a rarity these days?

You have put a lot of effort in with 'S' and if it appears that she isn't willing then it's time just to stay as good friends and move on. You are clearly a handsome fellow given the number of ladies who have been interested.

I have to say meeting someone is partly down to luck and serendipity. You could have dates with lots of people and never find someone special. On the other hand you could have one and hit it off straight away. Life's funny like that.

Hope this isn't too harsh.

You need to learn to love yourself. I find it incredibly difficult to love myself too.

'S' is used to just the physical side of things, maybe that's how it will always be for her, I don't know.

The problem is, she doesn't seem to want to be good friends either.

I'm just not cut out for 'people', it was easier when I locked myself away and didn't even try, and this may force me to do that again. It's less painful.

Horasio

Sazbo wrote:

Hi CCStar hun. Haven't heard from you for a bit. Please post if you get the chance, just wondering how you are. You have my sympathies re idiots. My policy has tended to be to try and isolate myself from them, but not sure that's been a totally winning strategy either... but feel free to vent here anytime. Thinking of you. Saz xxx

Hi

Went out last night.

Felt very tired and sad due to family stress and not sleeping properly.

Whilst we have spoken, I feel nothing will change.

As far as any agreement being drawn up, we have done it but my husband undermines EVERY effort I make to keep this home together, so I can't do anything. Any time I say there is something wrong, he either rants or argues to the death. He is an expert at grinding people down. It is a good skill to have when dealing with the idiots but not to use on your wife (not son) he does nothing about that. I feel sorry for our son, he must be getting some odd messages and he certainly doesn't know how to deal with money.

I feel we are at the end, I have tried talking but my husband has a bad attitude. It is making me ill again, and realise it isn't hormones. I can't get ill again.

I say I want to put the house on the market but need them to pack !!!!!!! Our son has a job list as long as his arm but doing very few, I know he has exams but we all have commitments. I can't train him to be a 'true' adult with my husband around undermining me. I feel I am trying to climb a slippery vertical slope.

Our son is nearly 19, so is a man. That was our hard earned savings he has 'stolen' from us. It was always the money NOT TO BE TOUCHED!! and set in stone. He broke his deal and I have felt very depressed since last weekend.

Horasio

blinky wrote:

I agree with you that there is a lot more to a relationship than s*x. The emotional side and being with the person is much more important. Any physical stuff is a bonus.

It maybe from what you've said that 'S' isn't used to this and her previous relationships have been physically based. Maybe she thinks that's all men want but we know it's not. Maybe we are a rarity these days?

You have put a lot of effort in with 'S' and if it appears that she isn't willing then it's time just to stay as good friends and move on. You are clearly a handsome fellow given the number of ladies who have been interested.

I have to say meeting someone is partly down to luck and serendipity. You could have dates with lots of people and never find someone special. On the other hand you could have one and hit it off straight away. Life's funny like that.

Hope this isn't too harsh.

You need to learn to love yourself. I find it incredibly difficult to love myself too.

Very good advice

S has probably been 'f**ked' rather than made love to and only knows how to 'f**k' and you don't want to just do that. It will take time to get her to realise there is another way of doing it. It is a classic amongst people who have been abused in any way. She hasn't any self esteem either.

Horasio

Feeling Good

I am glad you are getting things together

You have come a long way in the last week.

I understand you need to get things together and keep strong!

We are here when you want to post again.

Horasio

elona wrote:

I think it was a double eviction - Dean Gaffney and David Gest? The one who was married to Liza Minelli and the guy who was in Eastenders.

Hugs to everyone.

Feelinggood

When you tell him you are leaving make sure you have someone with you or it is in a public place.

Maybe even smuggle out a few things bit by bit and leave with a friend - I am really worried what his reaction could be if his "property" is going! Meaning you!

David shouldn't have gone last night:(

The final tonight

Either Myleene or Jason to win!

Sazbo

CCStar wrote:

Hi

Went out last night.

Felt very tired and sad due to family stress and not sleeping properly.

Whilst we have spoken, I feel nothing will change.

As far as any agreement being drawn up, we have done it but my husband undermines EVERY effort I make to keep this home together, so I can't do anything. Any time I say there is something wrong, he either rants or argues to the death. He is an expert at grinding people down. It is a good skill to have when dealing with the idiots but not to use on your wife (not son) he does nothing about that. I feel sorry for our son, he must be getting some odd messages and he certainly doesn't know how to deal with money.

I feel we are at the end, I have tried talking but my husband has a bad attitude. It is making me ill again, and realise it isn't hormones. I can't get ill again.

I say I want to put the house on the market but need them to pack !!!!!!! Our son has a job list as long as his arm but doing very few, I know he has exams but we all have commitments. I can't train him to be a 'true' adult with my husband around undermining me. I feel I am trying to climb a slippery vertical slope.

Our son is nearly 19, so is a man. That was our hard earned savings he has 'stolen' from us. It was always the money NOT TO BE TOUCHED!! and set in stone. He broke his deal and I have felt very depressed since last weekend.

From what you've said, my impression is that a lot of what you're going through does stem from being undermined by your husband. As you say, this will give conflicting messages to your son and make it harder for you to try and teach him good habits. I don't like hearing that they do nothing to help you, won't do their share of the packing...

All I can say is you are an extremely strong person - becasue I could never cope with all that. And your are a decent person. It will all come good for you CCStar, I truly believe that... Sxx

Sazbo

CCStar wrote:

David shouldn't have gone last night:(

The final tonight

Either Myleene or Jason to win!

Must say I'm looking forward to a bit of zero-effort TV tonight. My brain is zonked. I'd like Jason to win:)

Horasio

Sazbo wrote:

From what you've said, my impression is that a lot of what you're going through does stem from being undermined by your husband. As you say, this will give conflicting messages to your son and make it harder for you to try and teach him good habits. I don't like hearing that they do nothing to help you, won't do their share of the packing...

All I can say is you are an extremely strong person - becasue I could never cope with all that. And your are a decent person. It will all come good for you CCStar, I truly believe that... Sxx

Thank you

I feel I am a decent person and felt I was being a good mother. I can't fight a bad father and husband too. I paint my husband to be a total monster, of course there are times we are fine, but this has been an underlying problem since we got married.

We had to get out of debt when we first married and I had to be strong and it made me controlling. I have been accused of being too controlling. I was 17 when I married so did the best I could. I feel he has been rebelling against me ever since. He was more childish than I was, he was 30. I thought it was my hormones but since having them dealt with, I realise he contributed to a major part of our problems.

I am doing my best and tried many approaches. I am tired and don't feel that strong any more. I can only do my best and dealing with stupid stubborn 'donkeys' I call them. I don't know what else I can do anymore. For my health, I have to leave. Our son is an adult, he won't listen to me, I can't watch him turn into a loser. I have done my best as a mother, against a lot of aggro and bad health. I have to accept I cannot manage donkeys.