depression

Sazbo

Miroslav wrote:

5 day weekend :j

Happy Saz on a Sunday evening this week :j

- Yay! Happy Saz!! :j :j :money:

Hi. Well tonight went ok in the end. Even though I was on the point of dropping with tiredness. It was a 'Long Service Award' evening and my boss/longtime friend was one of those getting an award tonight - he's been with the company 15 years (me a mere rookie at 9 years!). So dinner in this rather swanky hotel was nice; a bit of a treat. But then one of our fellow staff who arranged tonight happened to be a member of this small choral group, who treated us to a short performance in the middle of the proceedings, a few classical numbers, but then they finished by singing a couple of christmas carols. Now, I must admit I'd be the first person to say, "Bah, Humbug!" at something like that, but you know what? It actually brought a tear to my eye, it was really rather beautiful and touching...

Any road. It's nearly midnight and Sazza is about to turn into a pumpkin. I should have been in bed two hours ago pretending to sleep. So I shall bid you all a very goodnight. Sweet dreams, I shall see you tomorrow.

(btw - anyone know who, if anyone, got booted out of the jungle tonight?!)

Much love,
Sxxx

Sazbo

feelinggood wrote:

I'm sorry Miro
Have a nice time shopping, hope you are ok.
And you aren't a fool, just a nice man who loves a bit too much sometimes x

Yeah, I'll go with that.

Sazbo

blinky wrote:

My feelings too. Really sorry about what has happened.

- and that.

Tiff_2

Good Morning Guys:hello:
Huge hugs to rose, ethel, cc, ruby, , - I hope you 're all feeling a little better. If I could take your pain away I would, but what I can do is be here if you need an ear.:grouphug: We're all thinking of you so I hope you'll keep us updated.;)
Sorry I never got chance to start my bits and pieces yesterday.
Tiff Friday hugs to rose, elona, sazz, blinky, philippa, welsh, flis, bunnie, miro (I haven't forgotten about you!),gilly, gemini, ethel, cc, oakie, ruby, mrs a, et al.
You're a great bunch of people.

Hi fg,

feelinggood wrote:

Docs went well, got my sick note so can carry on my claims Staying at the same level of meds as it is affecting my sleep. Didn't mention the slightly manic times, as tbh, I like them - I get stuff done and am really happy when I'm up lol

How's our feelie today? I know the above quote was on here a few days ago but it was on my catch up list. Do you have a definite diagnosis fg? Do you have a job? How long have you been ill hun? The reason I ask is that I'm fairly savvy on benefits you may be able to get. Angel, even though you like your manic bits, you should tell dr about them because it may be a case of the higher you go, the harder you might come down. It's better to try and even it all out than keep mountain climbing. You have to be totally honest with dr hun, to be the best fg you can be! You're doing well hun.
Hey guys - If anyone else is in a position of being unable to work due to their illness or, is working and struggling really hard to manage, post it up and I'll see if there's anything I can come up with. No promises guys ~ it's always better to see CAB or similar agencies who know all, but maybe I can point at least point you in the right direction. Just a thought.

Sazzy !:D Hun, you should know better than to confess to having 5 days off soon! Now everyone's going to go sick & Saz will have to hold the fort all by herself.....It's S*ds Law hun! :eek: :rotfl:
Just think - a lie in Saz! Your post replies are going to be like reading 'War and Peace'! Hope you're well angel.
Will - Remember, we're watching you! Don't try and sneak out - Tiff's got eyes everywhere!;)

I'll be in and out of here today.:rolleyes: I'll post when I can. Can you limit it to one crisis per person for me, just for today please? Just joking guys - have a great day - and remember, ''It's not me - it's them!'' will always get you through.:rolleyes: :grouphug:
Much Love
Tiff xxx

Tiff_2

CCStar wrote:

I really feel blue. He has succeeded in bringing me right down, even if I didn't show it to him. I feel like I want to give up on it all and die. I'm not sure what to do about it.
I have enough to cope with trying to get and keep our son on the straight and narrow. What is the best course of action to cope with someone so draining? I'm trying to keep it civilised but he is an out of control idiot.
I feel so tense and nervous.
He causes trouble and blames others. I can't take his paranoia anymore

Hi CC,
How are you angel? As I said yesterday, you're dealing with an awful lot hun. Do you think OH is depressed too? Would he get any help for it?
I'm sorry you've got such a handful with a son. I'm guessing he's over 18?
I think it's commendable how you've tried to help him, guide him and keep him out of trouble. But forgive me for saying this hun, sometimes you just got to let him go and face the consequences of his own actions. He won't learn otherwise cc.:o It sounds as though you're constantly on watch - no wonder you're so drained!
One idea (sorry if it's a stupid one:o ), may be to write up an agreement of what is acceptable in your home and then both of you sign it.
Leave him in no doubt that he'll have to make his own way if the terms are broken. It's really hard to do this to the son you love but you also have to ask yourself, how much longer can you live with having to rescue him all the time and the effect it's having on the household as a whole? Sadly sometimes we have to accept that we can't save someone. It may be kinder in the long run, to let him make his mistakes now on his own.
At least the house sale is going to give you some options hun.
Much Love
Tiff xxx

Tiff_2

Hi gilly - I did warn you that I'd get back to you so here goes hun.[quote=gillette147]
Hello you wonderful people. I know I haven't been around for a while to give support and I'm sorry. It's partly because i'm too messed up to be of use and partly because I know someone who posts here and have ben trying to not intrude on them.
It's like the Mafia hun - once you're in this family, you're in for life!:D :rolleyes: You don't have to give advice and support to be entitled to post here gilly ~ I hope everyone agrees that it's all totally unconditional help on here. Just be here when you want to be. I don't know who you know here hun & it's considerate of you to consider their feelings but you're part of the clan too.
But I am down, down, down.
I lost my job two weeks ago - no jobs in what I know anywhere - entering the maze of benefits. Feel I need to retrain but don't know what to do.
What field did you work in gilly? The retraining part will be easily available I hope hun. There are a lot of courses, vocational and otherwise, which are free to people on certain benefits. If you have a mental ill health problem - including depression - for longer than 6 months, and you can't work due to it, it may be worth your time to apply for DLA (Disability Living Allowance). I'll post more info on this if anyone's interested.
I've had back trouble for over a month (parting gift from my employers lol). I'm under a physio - i have to do exercises 3 times a day and go for a 2 mile walk. Hate it and feel like it dominates my day.
It will be worth it angel if it prevents a long term problem. May I ask how you lost your job hun? Maybe you would be able to make a claim against your employers because of your injury?
I'm hurting someone I care about (or maybe not - I don't know for sure)because it is the right thing to do and I feel terrible because of it.
I didn't understand this part hun, but if you know it was the right thing to do,
then you followed your own principles and there's nothing wrong with that. When we're ill, we take the blame for everything. Try and remember that a lot of your low mood is down to your mental ill health. We actually go looking for things to blame ourselves for!:rolleyes:
I don't feel I can allow myself to be happy because my life is such a mess. I have no real friends and I feel isolated and futureless. I'm discarding my hobbies due to my back and money concerns. Just want to go to bed forever.[/quote]
Again, this sounds like some depression here gilly. There's only one real answer hun. Start with the GP, whether you want to or not, and this will start the ball rolling to getting some structure into your life - and some relief and your recovery too. The feelings you describe hun are very common so for what it's worth, you're totally normal, especially with all that's going on. I know it's not easy gilly but the longer you leave it, the longer you're delaying your recovery. Break it down angel. I hope I'm not preaching - it's not my intention.
As far as this site goes, someone replied that we muddle along together here. I think we do really well considering all that has happened in our lives. As you already know, the people on here are fantastic at supporting each other. You know where we are when you need us ok?
Much Love
Tiff xxx

feelinggood_2

Tiff wrote:

Hi fg,

How's our feelie today? I know the above quote was on here a few days ago but it was on my catch up list. Do you have a definite diagnosis fg? Do you have a job? How long have you been ill hun? The reason I ask is that I'm fairly savvy on benefits you may be able to get. Angel, even though you like your manic bits, you should tell dr about them because it may be a case of the higher you go, the harder you might come down. It's better to try and even it all out than keep mountain climbing. You have to be totally honest with dr hun, to be the best fg you can be! You're doing well hun.[IMG][/img]

My 'official' diagnosis is just depression and generalised anxiety disorder, but there are a few other things going on, hopefully the physcotherapy team will help with them. I don't have a job - they forced me to resign after being off sick for too long - left job in april. I've been ill on and off for past 6 years - since I left school 3 years ago, i've worked for about 15 months in total.
I do rather like the manic bits I will try and mention it to her when I go back - but she'll probably just brush it off - she's happy treating the depression and the anxiety, but not any of the other stuff.
I've submitted my claim for IB and DLA, waiting to see what happens with them to see where I can go next. I will definately bend your ear about housing benefit and things when I find out how much money I'm gonna get - then I can find me somewhere to live! I dreamt about leaving last night.
Finally admitted that one reason I'm scared to leave is that I don't trusts OH's reaction. He is either going to be totally calm, and just leave it, or he is going to get very angry. He doesn't get angry that often, but he really scares me when he does. Got the hole in the wall in manchester to prove it :rotfl: I know I'm not responsible for him once I walk out that door, but I don't want him to mess up his life because of me. I've got horrid thoughts of what he might do :-/
Anyways, this was only supposed to be a short message!!

I'm going to be taking a bit of a back seat with MSE for a while; one of the teachings of Lao Tzu is P'u (the uncarved block, simplicity). My life is too complicated, and there is too much drama and conflict. To be happy and free, I need to make things more simple I hope that makes sense, I just feel I need time and space to reflect internally on things, and stop externalising so much. I need to be the uncarved block
I will still be thinking of each and everyone of you, I will still post occasionally, and I will still read your posts.
Take care everyone, and thank you for the wonderful journey we've all shared. I love you all, thank you.

Miroslav

:j

Glad it was a nice, albeit tiring night

Hope you aren't too tired today!

As for the jungle...........

Sazbo wrote:

- Yay! Happy Saz!! :j :j :money:

Hi. Well tonight went ok in the end. Even though I was on the point of dropping with tiredness. It was a 'Long Service Award' evening and my boss/longtime friend was one of those getting an award tonight - he's been with the company 15 years (me a mere rookie at 9 years!). So dinner in this rather swanky hotel was nice; a bit of a treat. But then one of our fellow staff who arranged tonight happened to be a member of this small choral group, who treated us to a short performance in the middle of the proceedings, a few classical numbers, but then they finished by singing a couple of christmas carols. Now, I must admit I'd be the first person to say, "Bah, Humbug!" at something like that, but you know what? It actually brought a tear to my eye, it was really rather beautiful and touching...

Any road. It's nearly midnight and Sazza is about to turn into a pumpkin. I should have been in bed two hours ago pretending to sleep. So I shall bid you all a very goodnight. Sweet dreams, I shall see you tomorrow.

(btw - anyone know who, if anyone, got booted out of the jungle tonight?!)

Much love,
Sxxx

Miroslav

Well, 'S' has text flatmate and is still meeting her at 12, but she hasn't contacted me.

I know she's going to tell flatmate she never wants to see me again, despite the fact I have done nothing wrong

elona

I think it was a double eviction - Dean Gaffney and David Gest? The one who was married to Liza Minelli and the guy who was in Eastenders.

Hugs to everyone.

Feelinggood

When you tell him you are leaving make sure you have someone with you or it is in a public place.

Maybe even smuggle out a few things bit by bit and leave with a friend - I am really worried what his reaction could be if his "property" is going! Meaning you!