depression

blinky

CCStar wrote:

It is very difficult for me

We have discipline issues in this house.

I don't feel backed up by my husband and I don't feel he is terribly effective. I feel undermined all the time and feel I look stupid. My mother has been a good back up but it isn't really her job. I know the right thing to do but I am undermined, so need her moral support sometimes. My son and her were close, so he does respect her.

We all have the same goal of getting him and getting him to stay on track, so I hope we are not confusing him too much.

I do feel my marriage is in jeopardy tho. I feel emotionally rejected by my husband a lot. I feel undermined and put down a lot by him. His table manners repel me. I am beginning to really hate him. I have tried telling him but it's not sinking in, he thinks he is OK. I feel our son is picking up his bad habits. For a year now I have felt bullied in my own home. I am at my happiest when I am in my room. I can't live like this forever. I can't work or have a life - I feel stunted.

We are putting the place up for sale in the new year. This is the first time I have felt confident enough to go. I wanted to leave 14 years ago but didn't want to split the parenting.

It's not good when your OH undermines you for discipline. Not good for your son either. I understand that will be times when you disagree on how to impose discipline but if you can compromise and keep a united front it's better for all.

It is a big step but the thought of being with my husband much longer is making me feel suicidal

NOOOO HUN - he's not worth it.
You have so much to offer. Just look at all the friends you've have here. I'm certainly glad of the help you've given me. You are a valued friend. Hang in there.

Thinking of u,

Paul
xxx

Miroslav

CCStar wrote:

Hi and welcome back

It isn't fair on you and only you know if you are strong enough.

You need to look after you

:wave:

Well, I'm strong enough to take on her 'issues', just not strong enough to be messed around.

Miroslav

Sazbo wrote:

Hi Miro, welcome back! My initial feeling is maybe this is something that might be better in a card or a handwritten note? Don't know what other peeps think but I tend to use texting for very brief messages, but trouble with that is they can be misconstrued, if it's something important that you are trying to get across in just a few words - and that's nothing to do with the quality of one's English - just the limitations of the medium - know what I mean hun? Sxx

:wave:

Sorry, didn't make myself clear (again!), this is something I am going to give to her verbally.

My English isn't always great, in the sense that when I speak. I take the easiest route, as opposed to going around the houses, and because of the way I say things, they are mis-construed??

Because also she takes the slightest thing the wrong way, it's a case "Don't be offended but....."

Sazbo

Miroslav wrote:

:wave:

Sorry, didn't make myself clear (again!), this is something I am going to give to her verbally.

Nothing to do with you not making yourself clear, and everything to do with me getting the wrong end of the stick! My one brain cell, ya gotta make allowances:D:D

Sazbo

This site is so s-l-o-w........................aarrrrggghhhhhhhhh

Miroslav

CCStar wrote:

It is good to write down and speak what you want to say to her, without saying it.

I want you to be happy and I know she can make you feel good but she is very complicated. You have been thro the mill too and you are taking on a lot. What is the percentage ratio of happiness to feeling unhappy in this relationship? Can you see it getting better?

I know what I want to say, I just don't want to get the piece of paper out whilst having a tea/coffee

'S' "If I may just ask, erm erm. *ruffles paper* right, that's the baby, "If I may just...."

I think it can better, but it will always be a bit difficult. I guess I can't help being really fond of her though

As for %............:o I don't know, right now 10%-90%, but it's 10% more than any other person in the last ?? years

Miroslav

Sazbo wrote:

This site is so s-l-o-w........................aarrrrggghhhhhhhhh

It's not just my old PC or your brain cell then

Miroslav

I will get onto replying to these PM's shortly then It make take a while. Also got to go back to page 231. I am very tired and caught up in my own messed up mind right now though

'S' text me at 21:21 :eek:

All she said was "C U 2m, 'S' x"

It's a start........but knowing her, she wants a reply from me to confirm, that's why she really text me.......but i've not replied Have some of that, oh mighty one :rotfl:

Sazbo

Miroslav wrote:

It's not just my old PC or your brain cell then

No, although they probly don't help! :rotfl:

blinky

Sazbo wrote:

Nothing to do with you not making yourself clear, and everything to do with me getting the wrong end of the stick! My one brain cell, ya gotta make allowances:D:D

Now now Sazbo - don't put yourself down (says the master of it ). You've definitely got lots of brain cells.