depression

Miroslav

rose07 wrote:

everything hun is getting to me

starting with my mum.
then my day all i do is get up go to hospital, come home go to bed.

and today was awful in the hospital as soon as i got in, it was manic, one woman was in tears and soo much pain. then another was screaming her head of, i did make friends with a drug dealer tho. but now he thinks he knows me, through a friend, oh dear!!!!. and at lunch he was making sure i ate bless him, i did some relaxation in the morning too. but this afternoon i was awful, and the nurses do nothing, they just watch tele, i go to them and say i feel awful, they just say go watch tele, yeahmate like hat gonna work you f**ked up thing. so this afternoon i went walkabout again, no one noticed anyway, tho i got back and my personal nurse said where have you been? sooo hmmmm?
it was sooo hard from 2pm, all i had to do was walk up and down the ward, everyone was watching the rugby so couldnt watch tele, i was getting aggetated, and worked up, and angry. and its sooo hard when you see people expressing themselves shouting, crying, screaming even, when i cant express mine, all i wanna do is scream hun, and cry, the pain is sooo immense, but its not like you can go to a nurse and say im hurting, they know that, and one nurse oh my god!!! im really gonna throw something soon.

and im on 10 tablets a day at the moment :mad:

im sooo fed up right now

Sounds horrible

10 tablets? Bleeding something!

rose07

Miroslav wrote:

If it's not blinky, it's you making my screen go all funny [/QUOTE

ooopppss soz

Miroslav

rose07 wrote:

Miroslav wrote:

If it's not blinky, it's you making my screen go all funny [/QUOTE

ooopppss soz

Think this post will start a new page, so you are forgiven

rose07

Miroslav wrote:

Sounds horrible

10 tablets? Bleeding something!

yeah it cr*p

rose07

oh i just wanna feel alright

it hurts too much

Sazbo

rose hun, it will get better, I'm so sure of that. Try to stick with it ok? I know it's really hard, especially at the beginning, but try to keep in mind that you're going in the right direction now, doing something positive for yourself. It's never easy trying to pick ourselves up each time and keep on the right track - aren't we all here the living proof of that hun? Big hugs, Sx

Miroslav

rose07 wrote:

yeah it cr*p

I can't even take 1 tablet, let alone 10!!

Sazbo

Miroslav wrote:

I'm not sure if i'm going to do it tonight, maybe wait until tomorrow

I don't know

I don't want to keep being the one who is making contact, as it's unequal, but also maybe too much for her? Or maybe I should as it may be nice for her?

No idea

It a bit of a tough one to call when I don't know her. Maybe leave it till tomorrow - it'll be just as nice a gesture tomorrow. It does sound as though she needs a longish time in between steps for her to digest what it is she's said to you or decided. As someone else said it does require superhuman patience from you - only you can judge if that's something you want to give. Wish I could make it easier for you xx

rose07

Sazbo wrote:

rose hun, it will get better, I'm so sure of that. Try to stick with it ok? I know it's really hard, especially at the beginning, but try to keep in mind that you're going in the right direction now, doing something positive for yourself. It's never easy trying to pick ourselves up each time and keep on the right track - aren't we all here the living proof of that hun? Big hugs, Sx

thank you, i am trying

it just sooo hard, and one of the patients was talking about his mate who had rap*d a young girl, i got worse, they should have a sign saying, i dunno, dont talk bout this and that.

parents doing my head in, my dads force feeding me, which is awful, and my mum is giving me such a hard time.

i know its good to have things out in the open
and my personal nurse makes sense but its not dealing with my emotional pain, its all i have heard before, think positive do this do that. i dont wanna f**kin do it. !!!!

god im sounding soo bad, but when you been inside alll day pacing and just looking out a window its frustrating, and then i come home to a stressful environment.

sooo hard.

yeah you know i think you are all great

xxx

rose07

Miroslav wrote:

I can't even take 1 tablet, let alone 10!!

i dont wanna take them,